Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

To PTS or not

61 replies

MrsMoggy · 02/10/2018 18:46

I know nobody can help me make a decision on this really, but just need to get it all out there.

We have a 4/5 year old rescue cat that we rescued a couple of years ago. We knew when we rescued him that he was FIV+ but he was in great health and a lovely cat so we adopted him. We also have two other cats, non FIV. Both those cats are
Insured but he can’t get insurance because of the FIV.

Earlier this year he started getting very skinny around his hip area, indicating a kidney
Problem. He was also getting sticky around the mouth area.

Took him to the vets and they did blood tests, results came back full of doom, kidneys very diseased and they were very close to putting him to sleep until the lead vet intervened. Secondary to that, his teeth were in very bad shape.

As a result he underwent a kidney flush out to get rid of toxins and has been on a renal diet since, all of which has cost a fortune as he’s not insured. He had a prognosis of making it to around Christmas time. There is no comeback from the kidney disease they could only slow it down.

Past few days he has declined again, but worse than before. He is very sleepy, not moving around the house as much, not greeting us and showing less interest in food. One of his teeth actually fell out the other day, and his chin is getting black from drooling. His fur is not in good condition.

I’ve made a vet appt for tomorrow to discuss but I feel there’s no way back
From this. We can’t afford to repeat the same fruitless procedures time and again.
Also if he is to carry on he is in desperate need of a dental, something that will cost hundreds of pounds, if it was even safe to give him the op.

I’m so stuck what to do. My husband is in denial about it all, and I also pay for all the cat expenses so it all falls on me to make these decisions. I’d be gutted to lose the cat at such a young age but I’m more concerned about his quality of life.

Thanks if you read all of that!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Mingmoo · 02/10/2018 18:50

I think you should set aside the money issue and think about the cat. If the best he can hope for is to suffer in misery until Christmas, it would be kinder to put him to sleep now. You've given him extra time by adopting him in the first place and paying for his treatment up to now. It's such a hard decision to make so I really feel for you but even if I had loads of money to spend on my cat, I'd worry I was spending it for the wrong reasons. My own feeling is the best we can do for our animals is to save them from long-drawn-out suffering when they reach the end of their lives. It was still the worst thing I've ever had to do so you have my complete sympathy.

Amicompletelyinsane · 02/10/2018 18:57

With kidney issues having the treatment only prolongs it. Which is fine when the cat responds well and can maintain a happy life. At our practice once a cat with kidney disease gets to the point you describe we would normally not hestitatd if owners talked of euthanasia. It sounds like he really needs a dental, which with kidney issues that sound pretty severe is a nightmare. Add his fiv into that I think you ultimately know he's really struggling x

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 02/10/2018 18:59

Sorry OP but I think from your description his time has come. Better a day or two too early than too late.
Flowers

9Greenbottles · 02/10/2018 19:05

I think you know what is kindest to do. It's hard though Flowers

Original poster
MrsMoggy · 02/10/2018 19:06

Yes I agree with everyone that it’s his time.
I just needed to talk somewhere about it as my husband doesn’t seem to see the cat struggling and every time I speak about it out loud I just start crying again.

Also have a 6yr old son who I’m trying to keep a face on for

OP posts:
fenneltea · 02/10/2018 19:08

I think I'd let him go now if it is his kidneys that have deteriorated.

Having said that, toothache is miserable and I do wonder if he could be happier after dental work; but if he is likely to decline anyway then I can't see the point in prolonging things sadly.

I was told that failing kidneys are painful for them, so on that basis I'd make the decision sooner rather than later. The cat's age is immaterial if it is suffering, I'd be guided by your vet after a frank discussion, but I know what I'd be doing. He has had a life of love that he wouldn't have had if you hadn't adopted him, you don't want his last days to be miserable. Flowers

carbuckety · 02/10/2018 21:57

mumgmoo I'm so sorry. It's a terrible decision to have to make. It sounds like it's kindest to put him to sleep now but take advice of the vet. We have a probably 16 year old rescue cat with kidney and heart conditions and every day I hope he's okay, happy and enjoying a cuddle. One thing about vet fees, our rescue said to come back to them if there were any issues because we can't get insurance. We would probably manage without that but it's there as a fall back. I don't suppose your rescue said similar?

Please tell us what happened. Always so sad to lose a beloved pet

Wolfiefan · 02/10/2018 22:02

Setting aside the money. The teeth could be dealt with if he could cope with the op. But he’s clearly unwell and they can’t cure the underlying issue. The kidney flush was clearly a short term solution but I would guess it’s not pleasant and not something they would want to keep doing.
The issue is not what treatment can they do but what is fair. To put a cat through pain and stress for it to live maybe a few weeks more? Or to prevent suffering and preserve dignity.
It’s hard. Our boy had a serious and life limiting condition but to know which day is the right one? To make that decision? Ultimately you must take the advice of your vet and do what you believe is best for your pet. The hardest decision but sometimes the right and the kindest one. Flowers

FannyFifer · 02/10/2018 22:06

I had to get my poor boy put down recently. He was only 4 & had chronic kidney disease.
He was so so skinny, not eating & drinking well & also constipated as not managing to get enough fluids, he was very sore.
He wasn't going to get better & I just couldn't have him in pain.
Think you might be at that point as well. Sorry.

Original poster
MrsMoggy · 02/10/2018 22:48

He’s done some good eating tonight but he is so withdrawn. Facing away from us, not coming for attention.

Appt is at 7pm tomorrow. Not been booked as a euthanasia appt but both i and the vet know it is.

Feel so sick. He’s been such a lovely cat, the friendliest little thing you could meet, I’ve got 3 cats and he is every outsiders favourite. The whole family is attached to him.

He was found in a shed protecting his kittens when he was just a couple of years old himself, then passed around charities as nobody would take him because of his FIV. The poor thing has been dealt nothing but bad in his short life Sad

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 02/10/2018 22:50

No. He’s been dealt you. You’re brave enough to make the worst decision a cat slave faces. You’re prepared to face suffering yourself rather than allow him to suffer.
Thinking of you tomorrow OP. Flowers

Want2beme · 02/10/2018 23:30

Poor little mite. He sounds like a lovely lad protecting his babies, how sweet. He's had a good life with you and your family. The vet will guide you. It's very tough when they're so poorly.

StartingGrid · 02/10/2018 23:40

When the kidney damage shows up theres already something like 70% lof function lost unfortunately. My cat with kidney issues has a phosphorous binder so we can give him normal food still, Idk if this would be a feasible solution as renal food costs a bomb alone. The one we have is ipakitine.

If you can afford the dental in any way and the vet thinks it will help him overall I'd do it. He will feel massive relief as soon as it's over with (I assume from your posts he's not had one before but the recovery and difference after never fails to amaze me.

Whatever you decide (and I think you should be guided by him wherever possible) sending you Flowers as this is an awful thing to go through which such a young cat, he's the same age as my youngest who in my eyes is still a baby compared to the others. He's in my thoughts, poor poppet

ifonly4 · 03/10/2018 08:38

So sorry to hear about your lovely baby.

With reference to his teeth, I doubt the vet would anesthetize as it's hard to manage the anesthetic when kidneys are so had.

My boy had very fast progressing CKD, within six weeks told he had two weeks, two days later I just looked at him and felt he hadn't enjoyed his day, I just knew I had to let him go. Booked appointment for next day, two hours before he started going downhill fast and I wouldn't have wished to make him wait longer.

Tell your dh posting your posting on here and please tell him this. You can speak to vet without taking your cat about his quality of life as you see it, rather than put him through an unnecessary visit. Make sure your husband knows how you feel, speak to the vet anyway, and just in case suggest DH makes his last memories.

Original poster
MrsMoggy · 03/10/2018 08:50

Thank you for all the replies they are really appreciated.

Came down this morning, he was sat on the cat tree with a nugget of hard poo next to him. He would never usually allow that to happen, he’s been a dedicated litter tray user. He also hasn’t been grooming so is looking a mess.

He’s got up and had water but didn’t want the food offered to him.

We’ve got work today which is why the vet appt isnt until 6.45pm. I wish we could go earlier, I don’t want to lose him but looking at this shadow of him is horrible.

Cried myself to sleep last night. We did so much crying the first time we thought we would have to put him down, I think my husband feels he has already grieved for him if you see what I mean. I think it will hit him later.

OP posts:
fenneltea · 03/10/2018 08:54

MrsMoggy My husband is exactly the same in these situtions, it has meant that over the years I have to be the one that is pro active and deal with the actual pts.

If it helps he now deals with it much better and accepts that it is in the animal's best interests, but disappears from the scene. We've had lots of animals over our lifetime together and I've accepted that the responsibility of making the decision and acting on it is mine and I've just got to get on with it. Your husband sounds similar, and I think that sometimes it is only looking back that they realise how poorly the animal has been.
Your cat is lucky to have found an owner who loves him enough to help him in his last days, he deserves that after his hard life. Wolfiefan has said it perfectly.

Toddlerteaplease · 03/10/2018 10:16

My cat had very bad heart disease, but her kidneys started to fail. I don't think she was actually suffering but in her last few days was clearly feeling very unwell. So I had her PTS. It was a lovely end for her. Cuddled in my arms.

Toddlerteaplease · 03/10/2018 10:18

It's only since I've looked back at photos from a couple of years ago, that I realised how awful she'd looked since the beginning of the summer.

Rigamorph · 03/10/2018 10:26

You are doing the right thing, OP.

(Most chronic renal disease in cats seems to nausea rather than pain as far as we can tell, but obviously unrelenting nausea is very unpleasant as well)

Toddlerteaplease · 03/10/2018 11:50

Fatty was vomiting almost every day toward the end and wasn't eating.

Original poster
MrsMoggy · 03/10/2018 11:58

He’s eaten some ham and cod today, treats he couldn’t have on the kidney diet. Every time he opens his mouth to take a bite I can smell something horrid. And he only eats with one side of his mouth. Normal cat food he’s not interested in.

The biggest sign to me is that he just sits alone with his head down now. Not sociable and doesn’t want to sit on you. In some ways I can’t wait for tonight so that it’s over. I’ve got knots in my stomach waiting, and keep having to suck in tears.

OP posts:
fenneltea · 03/10/2018 13:10

Oh bless him (and you) the waiting is by far the worst part, I often find that once they've gone it's a mix of relief, grief and guilt, but at least you know they aren't in discomfort any more. Is there no way you could get him in sooner, or the vet even come to you? We tend to get ours done at home and find it easier, but it might still mean a wait if they've nobody available to do it. :(

Wolfiefan · 03/10/2018 13:18

The waiting is awful. If it smells bad it must feel bad. Keep him warm and spoilt for now.

Original poster
MrsMoggy · 03/10/2018 13:20

No it’s a really popular vets so can’t get anyone to come out. And had to have an evening appt because of work and transport, no access to a car until
Evening and the vets is rural and not on a bus route.

Id like to sit and cuddle him until we leave for the vets, but he doesn’t want to be held Sad

OP posts:
fenneltea · 03/10/2018 13:37

Mine was the same just before we pts; agree with keeping him warm and as comfy as possiblewith water, food and litter tray near to him so he doesn't have to move far. (I know you've probably done all this anyway.) Peace and quiet seems to be all they want sometimes.