We collected our rescue cat last week. We were told he is a real lap cat, demanding of attention that can live with children and cats. We already have a very gentle 10 year old who sleeps most of the time and two kids (5 + 7).
Our resident cat has been accepting of the new cat, a little nervous and curious but no aggression and then just went about his business as usual. We separated them for a few days, swapped scents etc but new cat found his feet in the house fairly quickly so we introduced them through play. They were able to be in the same room but after a day or so (still careful to separate them when we are not around) the new cat has started stalking the resident cat and has now attacked him quite aggressively. Thankfully I was there to intervene before any serious injuries occurred but it was so aggressive my other cat would have got really hurt had I not been there. My children are now scared of the new cat - he is absolutely not the gentle attention seeking lap cat we were promised. He's so edgy and aloof and desperate to get outside. Hardly purrs, doesn't seem to want affection.
Our resident cat is now not eating at all and is stressed. I've had to completely separate them again. The rescue centre hasn't offered much advice but I've read that separating and reintroducing more slowly may be the key. I've seen the Jackson Galaxy videos about getting them to eat on the other side of a door but my cat is too upset to eat anything even when the other cat is not around.
What can we do? We have feliway diffusers and they have separate food/water/litter trays at opposite ends of house. How do you reintroduce them successfully? I really feel we've made a huge mistake and got the wrong cat for our family. He's bitten and hissed at me numerous times and I now feel I wouldn't be comfortable leaving him alone with either my children or my other cat. I feel terrible I've brought this cat into my other cat's territory and upset him so much and he's been attacked in his own home. The rescue cat was a stray without any history so we don't know what he's been through but he seems like he'd prefer to be outside most of the time with no other cats in the house hold. I've had cats all my life but can't seem to bond with this one and it's making us all miserable that this has become such a stressful situation.
Does anyone have any advice on how to integrate them or any similar experience with a successful outcome? I could really do with hearing some positive stories as I feel so upset about it all now and regret bringing this cat into our home.