Cats very very nervous, have we done the right thing?

[Rockbird]

Day three here. Firstly, they're our cats now, that won't change. They both had a rotten start and from now on they'll have cuddles (if they let us), fluffy blankets, lots of food and treats and everything they could want even if they never go near us. I want to clarify that. But.

They are still cowering in the far corner of the cage. They retreat when anyone tries to go near them, even to put food out etc. They came out for a wander yesterday evening but if we breathed in their direction they ran away, they won't let us near them at all. They just look so miserable. I know it's very early days but will they ever be happy here?

Brilliant names, it's half the fun of getting cats, being able to chose their names. I'm sure they'll end up with nicknames. My two are already called "the Bombs".

This my Ebony- rescue cat I got in February but still extremely nervous.
She doesn't go out & still disappears behind the sofa at any unusual noise!
But she has learnt to play & likes feathers especially.
I tried feliway but it didn't calm her down, it's just taken lots of time & patience.

She's scared of men but ok with women & quiet children.

She's grown attached to me & sleeps on my bed - not too close as thats scary sadly.
I hear her running around & playing at night as that's when she can 'be herself'.

Rescue cats are a challenge but it's definitely worth the time & effort.

I recommend finding out their fave treats like whiskas or dreamies & using them as bribery.
My cat also goes mad for Gourmet Seaside Treats cat food - she will really put up with a fuss if she has that afterwards.

I also recommend picking up some real bird feathers as toys, & using cat nip.

I love Ebony's bag btw.

@tierraj, 😍, Your beautiful girl is the twin to my rescue boy! I almost gasped when I saw the picture. Our boy came from the shelter with his brother, who passed away from kidney failure. They were both very skittish but seemed to draw comfort from each other. Our boy is now 12 and is curled next to me in a ball.

Time and patience, op. You are doing such an amazing thing by giving these kitties a safe and loving home. Cheers..

My gorgeous girl hid behind the boiler for a week when she first came to us from a very loving home. She didn't even eat for the first few days. We were seriously relieved when food started disappearing. It took weeks before she was able to approach me for cuddles and longer again for her to feel confident with DH. Now she loves us (except when I remove live shrews from her, depriving her of her latest toy) and pined when we went away, leaving our lovely neighbour to feed her. She is always happy when we come home and after being here for 10 months is really comfortable with inside and outside. Your cats are still in such early days. Love them and they will learn to love you back.

SecretWitch they look so similar!

I've just taken the executive decision to remove the crate as a) they've both found cosy places to hide/sleep in the same room. And b) the crate taking over the front room was getting on my tits. I've left all their food/litter tray etc in the room and will do for a while yet, but they really didn't need the crate anymore.

Bramble came and sat next to me on the sofa! Then she lay down with her head on my arm! This is good, right??

You’ve been claimed! It’s excellent.

Yeaaaaa. Total success!!! It’s all downhill from now.

Yep welcome to the phenomenon called 'cat prison'.

It's a lovely phrase used to get out of doing things because you 'might disturb the cat'

Happy days!

I was so excited but didn't dare move! She's ignoring me this morning...

Cats are capricious! Read The Silent Miaow by Paul Galico. It is a mother cats manual for her kittens on how to manipulate their humans it's wonderful and will help you realise we are all slaves to our personal furry overlords.

So glad your making progress.

My two settled in quicker than yours, however, didn't sit near us on the settee for a couple of weeks. Then suddenly I got the occasional lap cat. DD is home this weekend and they won't let her get near them

Mine randomly sits on my chest. She's not a lap cat.

I love how you said her name was Roxy but called her bramble again later 😊 She's so Bramble!

We gave up with the names. Whatever we called them we always reverted to their original names

So we're just over two weeks on. Bramble () and Arthur are eating well, starting to wander round the house (and sleeping in DD1's school uniform drawer , have worked out that the front room window sill gives the best view and on top of the router and just under the radiator are the warmest places, and will submit to stroking and playing with us if there's a z in the month. They love playing with each other and go hell for leather at nightfall. If we just stay still and watch they have a high old time.

But they still turn and scarper if we take a step towards them and generally prefer to tuck themselves out of sight unless there are Dreamies on offer. Any chance they'll ever be cosy cats?

OP, I got my two kitties 3 weeks ago. Two fluffy ginger girls (we had a name change situation also as we were told they were a boy and girl until the vet confirmed they’re two girls after we’d been calling one of them Albert for two weeks!) Our smallest girl, Hermione, is a sweetheart. For the first few days she was wary but would come sniffing around us and now she won’t leave us alone. Loves a good belly rub, will curl up next to us on the couch or on our lap and nudges our phone out of our hand because she wants stroking. Her bigger, fluffier sister, Myrtle (as in Moaning Myrtle because she’s such a grouch) is totally different.

For the first few days we had her, she hid behind the couch and wouldn’t come out if anyone was around. Then she started coming out when we played with hermione with one of those rat on a string things. She has taken very small steps in coming out and exploring, playing (the two of them run around play fighting like crazy) If I give them chicken, she will happily jump up on me and take it from my hand but that’s all she will do. She doesn’t like being touched, if we go to stroke her she backs up and runs off. Even just walking past her scares her. She has hissed at us a few times just for breathing in her direction.

We decided to try a bit of tough love. When she is on me eating chicken, I’ll pick her up and hold her gently and stroke her. She’ll sit and not try and get away but you can tell she hates every minute of it lol most of the time though, we leave her to do her own thing.

We got them both when they were 4 months old and they had already had a previous owner and so I’m not sure if something has happened to make her so afraid. I read a lot on here about cats who were very nervous and scared for a long time and have grown up to be very affectionate so I’m hoping with time, Myrtle will get to that point.

Have you tried them with meat? Just small pieces of chicken slices. If Myrtle is ever hiding, all I need to do is open the fridge and she’s there. She will climb right up onto my lap to get it too, if you haven’t tried it maybe give it a go? Mine aren’t fussed on dreamies!

You're handling this perfectly by the sound of it. And I know you must be disappointed that they're not instantly cuddly, but yes, they almost certainly will be after some more time.

It can take months but suddenly something seems to switch in their brains and they become either very affectionate, or moderately affectionate, depending on their personality. The only cats I've haven't seen this happen with is those that were properly feral adults when I got them. Even then it always seems to happen eventually, but with those we can be talking a wait of ten years or more .

In the meantime you can enjoy watching them, in the knowledge that you've saved them from a future either on the streets in or a rescue pen. I know you will be rewarded in the end.

They sound a lot like my younger pair. After about 7-8 months with me, my boy suddenly realised he loves a snuggle and will now jump up to join me on the sofa at every opportunity and snuggles right up, rolls over onto his back and asks for rubs. My girl still likes affection on her terms only but I've learnt to recognise snuggle opportunities; usually always when she's on her cat tree bed and then she can't get enough of being given a fuss and reaches her face towards me for a kiss.

I used to always pet them when I fed them wet food - if you're not already doing that, it's worth a try. Put the bowls near you and usually they will learn to allow being stroked when they're focussed on eating.

6 months on from adoption Ebony is still very nervous & jumpy when in the kitchen, but settles in the lounge & gets very playful.

She still hates being picked up & doesn't sit on laps but loves having a fuss when she's on the bed strangely, as if she feels safe upstairs. She rolls onto her back to be petted in the tummy!

So in my experience it takes a long time for nervous cats to settle but it's very rewarding when they let you near them.

Ebony in the lounge

Thanks. It's nice to see that there's hope. I'm a little bit cross though, I don't feel they really stressed how nervous they were. We might have made a different decision, given that dd2 is still quite young (6). However, it's done and they're ours and we (sort of) love them . Hopefully they'll come round.

We gave our rescue cats back after eight weeks. We were told they were “bomb-proof” but they stayed under our bed all day and wouldn’t come out until the DC (then 4 and 7) has gone to bed. One of them ran up the chimney.

They went to a lovely woman who lived on her own and we got two kittens who grew up with the DC around and so were very chilled around people.