Help me think through what to do re my old boy

[OlennasWimple]

We have an old boy who is nearing the end of his days. He is more or less in good health, other than a heart condition which is kept in check with medication. He's slowing down, though, and his unable to clean himself properly. Following his latest visit to the vets he is now on:

• one tablet twice a day that he will eat OK
• one tablet twice a day that has to be cunningly hidden in his food / in a Pill Pocket
• pain killer drops once a day on his food that he was OK with at first, but is starting to leave behind
• ear drops three times a week that he hates
• as needed, wash the bits that he can't reach properly to clean himself (bottom of his spine, back of his head type places)n

Pills and other things in his mouth are a stressful experience for him, because he has a wonky jaw that means it isn't very easy to get his mouth to open with the normal squeeze, so they have to be hidden. Washing him is stressful for both us - he loathes it with a passion, and will run and hide if I even think about getting a flannel out for him

The vet is adamant that he has got plenty more gas in the tank, provided that he follows the drug regime closely. But I'm not sure. I don't know what sort of life it is for a cat to have to have so much medication every day and have regular quite stressful experiences to ensure basic hygiene.

But then I feel bad to consider the alternative...

We've never had this problem before - our cats have either had an accident or had an aggressive disease that has taken the decision from our hands.

Anyone got any words of wisdom?

This is very hard for you, I do sympathize with you, but you do have to think of quality of life, I would put to sleep in the very near future.
I had to have my 13 year old put to sleep in April, he lost the use of his back legs, vet thought spinal tumour. In the last few days of his life was very depressed as could not clean himself or control his toilet functions.
They do say better a week too early than a day too late.
Hard as it is, you need to make the best decision for the cat.
I think you already know the answer, just need to accept it.

I think you would be kind to have him put to sleep. Do it with a different vet if you don’t think yours will be supportive.

All well and good having gas left in the tank, but will your cat enjoy the journey?

How old is he?

Poor old boy, and poor you. That is very hard. Remember that you know him best and (as far as it's possible with a cat!) know what signifies quality of life for him.

We have a lady of 15 who gets horribly distressed being transported in her cat box and, whilst she'll sit on a lap, absolutely hates being handled. We've already decided that she gets to the stage where she has to make frequent trips to the vet, or have repeated invasive treatments, we will have her put to sleep. Whether or not we decided to do that if she was in the position that your cat is in would entirely depend on her reaction to it, and how she seemed to be feeling. We would definitely be considering it.

Do you think he's enjoying life as he is at the minute? As a PP said quite rightly. It's all very well saying there is gas in the tank, but is he up to the journey?

I planned in advance what I wanted to happen with Fatty when the time came. And I'm glad I had. She had a beautiful death. Calm and dignified with me and her sister there with her. I took great comfort from that. It might be worth coming up with a plan, because you won't be thinking straight at the time.

Thank you everyone.

We use the vet we do because she is an expert in elderly cats - which has been brilliant when things have come up which are an age thing, but I do wonder whether she is so invested in the palliative care approach that she misses the quality of life aspect.

It's hard to tell whether he's happy TBH - he's been more or less sedentary for the last few years, and whilst he's able to trot over to the food bowl at a decent lick if I'm opening his favourite food, he can't jump up more than a footstool height. He still eats properly and - at least for now - is continent.

I worry that we would end up going months too early (rather than a day too late), but it's hard to tell where on the slow and steady decline it's right to say enough

OP, it's so hard to make that decision and knowing when the time is right. If you're at the point you can make that decision, phone and speak to the vet first to discuss, rather than take him in not knowing if vet will agree and having a long winded conversation.

My boy had CKD, we knew he had a maximum of two weeks but on day 2 into that timescale, I just looked at him and knew he hadn't enjoyed his day, so that it felt right.

My girl was so much harder. She slowly lost most of her sight and hearing over 7/8 months, had stopped engaging with us but was still interested in food and could make her way out into the garden but had to feel with her nose along the wall to find cat flap. I'd had a couple of times when I just about made that decision but in the end she'd started finding it hard to find her food and I just felt I couldn't put her through any more.