Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Flip

Original poster

Cat upset by new kitten

19 replies

thecathadahat · 20/09/2018 18:32

Hi after some advice.
We’ve had our cat for 2 years, he’s about 10 years old. Usually very placid, sleeps a lot, loves to curl up on my lap but no one else’s.

A week ago a 5 month old female kitten joined us. In hindsight I didn’t follow the advice re slow introduction. The first couple of nights the kitten was put in a separate room but otherwise they’ve shared the same space. She’s very interested in him and wants to play but he’s obviously put out by her arrival. Initially he was eating from both his and her food bowl as was she. I thought maybe this was a good sign. He’d hiss at her if she got too close and there was the occasional swipe from him. However apart from food times he took to spending a lot of time on the balcony - somewhere he often frequented. This has gradually deteriorated so that for the last day he has refused to come in at all. I have been going out to fuss him but often get a hiss from him. I have taken his favourite food out to him but he’s barely eaten it. He looks sad! He has sat on my lap briefly but not relaxed and no purring.

I don’t know how to put this right? Do I need to start from the beginning with a slow reintroduction?

Just to complicate the matter we have a puppy arriving in a month. Very bad timing but unavoidable.

Any advice gratefully received.

OP posts:

viccat · 20/09/2018 19:42

Yes, go back to the beginning and start again slowly. It might take a while since a 10 year old and a 5 month old will have vastly different energy levels. Is your kitten neutered yet?

YeOldeTrout · 20/09/2018 19:42

ime, they get over it. Keep love bombing the older cat.

Original poster

thecathadahat · 20/09/2018 19:59

Hi yes kitten has been spayed. Obviously not allowed out of the house yet which makes it worse - she’s sat in the nice warm kitchen whilst he’s on a cold wet balcony - and can see her!

OP posts:

Fluffycloudland77 · 20/09/2018 20:29

I'd go back to the beginning and start again with slow introduction. Get him in if you haven't and put her in a separate room.

It is like your partner bringing home an annoying toddler for you when your in your 50's and just want a quiet life.

You can see why the older cats aren't thrilled.

Original poster

thecathadahat · 20/09/2018 21:01

Thanks for the advice I’ll try and start from the beginning again. I feel really guilty honestly didn’t think he’d be so upset.

OP posts:

Original poster

thecathadahat · 20/09/2018 23:07

Well disaster! Moved kitten out of main living area and brought older cat back in. He was very tense with his tail down. Eventually sat on my lap for half an hour and allowed me to stroke him but didn’t fully relax. Then started walking round the kitchen pawing at the floor, tail between his legs, had a massive wee on the floor and cupboards - spraying I suppose - then walked to a different area and very deliberately pooped! I’ve put him back outside for now as didn’t know what to do next 🙈. Obviously I’ve cleaned the area but the kittens scent will be everywhere - what should I do now?

OP posts:

Fluffycloudland77 · 21/09/2018 06:33

Well it's a bit mean to punish him for normal cat scent marking behaviour.

Original poster

thecathadahat · 21/09/2018 07:26

Was that wrong? I didn’t do it to punish him just didn’t want him to keep doing it

OP posts:

mimibunz · 21/09/2018 07:31

Poor old cat. I feel so sorry for him. He’s going to be miserable for the foreseeable future and you can’t put it right. A puppy too?? WHY?!

IsTheRainEverComingBack · 21/09/2018 07:34

Get some Feliway and maybe some Royal Canin Calm food pronto.

Keep the kitten in a separate room and do a very very slow intro. Do you really HAVE to get a puppy? Your poor older cat will probably move out.

Fluffycloudland77 · 21/09/2018 07:40

It's just that he has no idea it's wrong. My cat gets stress cystitis and wee's on the walls if it flares up. I don't reprimand because he has no idea it's the wrong thing to do.

I wouldn't get a puppy tbh he's already upset and had his little world turned upside down.

I think cat international to slow intro pages. It can take weeks to intergrate two cats, sometimes months.

Dh would love another Bengal but I always say no as I just know ours wouldn't adapt.

Original poster

thecathadahat · 21/09/2018 08:04

It’s just the way the timing has worked out. We’ve been looking for a puppy for a long time and the right one became available. I already have Feliway but he’s in the house so infrequently I don’t think it will have any effect. I’ll get some of the food you suggest. I’ll keep the kitten out of the kitchen, encourage him back in and put up with any marking I guess. I don’t know what else to do

OP posts:

Original poster

thecathadahat · 21/09/2018 08:05

I didn’t think he’d be overly bothered by a new cat as he pays very little interest in cats that come into the garden

OP posts:

SillyMoomin · 21/09/2018 08:28

I think he sounds very sad and stressed op where did you get the kitten from?, ie, usb it somewhere that you could return the kitten to safely for re-adoption? After only a week I think it may be best, especially if you have a puppy coming too ~which I’d also re consider~

IsTheRainEverComingBack · 21/09/2018 08:34

That’s in the garden, not in his home. His scent won’t be the same in the garden as inside. You can work to take it back a notch to do a proper intro and hopefully they’ll be ok in time, but I think it would be very mean of you to get a puppy now as well and create even more change and upheaval.

penisbeakers · 21/09/2018 08:52

I wouldn't get a puppy it will make things exponentially worse and then you will have to rehome it and the kitten because you haven't thought any of this through properly.

Do not put your older cat outside, it's cruel. Keep them in separate rooms for now and be prepared to clean up because you've just done the equivalent of dropping a loud screaming baby in a room with a noise sensitive elderly person.

And again, please don't get a puppy. Why is it always people who shouldn't get a multitude of pets that always end up doing exactly that? 😒

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 21/09/2018 08:54

Poor old boy 😿 he probably feels like he has been replaced with the new kitten.

I would be keeping him in and close to you, if he makes a mess then don't tell him off or put him out, he will see that as a punishment.

We got 2 new kittens when out boy had been used to it just being us for 3 years, we made sure that his places were places the kittens couldn't get to. We also locked them downstairs when we went to bed and he slept with us like he always had done.

You can buy calming cat collars from amazon that may help him chill out a bit, could be worth a look.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 21/09/2018 09:08

I think he sounds pretty flaming miserable. Not sure why you say the puppy is unavoidable I wouldn't be bringing in another animal whilst he is so stressed out.

He is not used to sharing his space and you have dumped a kitten into it and in 4 weeks your going to dump a puppy on him too. He is an old boy who is used to being the only animal.

I think what ever advice you are given you wont follow if I'm honest as only a fool would get a kitten and do no research on how to introduce him to another cat properly. On top of that you see nothing wrong with adding a puppy to the mix.

HuggedtheRedwoods · 22/09/2018 12:04

It took our boy a good 6 months to settle down and accept our new kitten (he was 9ish, kitten was 9 weeks - a little scrap of thing, no threat to him size wise). He mostly ignored the kitten but there was rarely a day when he would stay in the same room as us, regularly hissing at me, often sitting outside despite a major grovelling operation from us (including Feliway in every room and even bringing his favourite manky old garden chair into the house to try and persuade him to come in). Things eventually settled down but it was hard work getting there and took a lot of time reassuring him, despite his previously laid back nature.

Its not what you'll want to hear but based on my own experience settling cat and kitten can be done in time and with patience but I absolutely would not add another stress factor onto your cat by adding a puppy. Poor kitten also has enough on its plate too.

Flip