How do I help dd get over lost cat?

[dameofdilemma]

Dd (6) is devastated our cat has absconded and I don't know how to help her.

Its the third time he's done a runner, even though he was locked in overnight this time. I'm not hopeful he'll come back on his own.

I've tried telling dd he's very probably safe as we'd have heard if he was taken to a vets or if someone had seen him injured (he's microchipped and also has a tag with our contact details).

The last time he went missing he'd simply found another garden to hang around in, a mile away.

We've done all the usual things to try to find him and our local team of pet sitters are even looking out for him (they were sitting for us when he legged it).

I don't want to imply to dd that he'll definitely be found and in a way, I want to take her mind off it. Every time she starts to think about the cat she becomes tearful and withdrawn. I find it really hard to see her so upset and if I'm honest I regret getting a pet that has upset her so much.

How can I help her get through this?

Could you get her a copy of the book Six Dinners Sid, about a cat who visits six different families so he keeps being fed?

Papergirl - am a bit worried that might upset her more, thinking she's been abandoned for someone else!
Want to be careful about saying anything that makes her assume the cat will return at some point....every time dd returns home she runs to the garden calling for the cat :(

Dd is off to her GM's for a week soon, maybe being somewhere completely different will take her mind off it? Every time dd sees the cat bowl/toys etc she becomes very sad.

I appreciate it's hard for you to see her dad but it is a valid feeling. Is it her first experience of loss?

I would give some time to it if she needs it, label the feelings to help her understand them "I'm very sad that DCat isn't here. I'm worried he might not come back. It makes people sad when they miss someone" and perhaps with a tangible activity. "Shall we draw a picture of Dcat doing his favourite thing?"

Once you have given some time to it, move her on to a favourite activity: jigsaws, reading etc

If the bowls are bothering her could she help you wash them up and put them in a special place. "I don't know if DCat will come back this time but if he does, we know his bowels are here for him" Maybe don't do this straight away!

To see her sad not dad!

Thanks Stripes - will keep talking to dd about it.

She's just read a book about cats (Martin's Mice) that talked about how cats like their freedom and shouldn't be kept indoors etc, so have mentioned that a few times and how the cat is probably having a big adventure.

Have said we're sad too but also happy that the cat has his freedom and that he knows he has a safe home here if he needs it.

Its dd's first pet....maybe by cat 5 she'll be blasé about it!