I miss my cat

[Flamingoose]

She died 3 weeks ago. It was unexpected, she was young.

I miss her so much. She was such a sweet girl. So calm and gentle. When everything else was going to shit, she would stare at me with her serious little face and I would feel reassured. I think perhaps she was a bit of a coping mechanism for me. If she was by my side then the world was a good place and I could manage. She calmed me.

She was very attached to me - I rescued her as a very young kitten and hand reared her.

Now she's gone and it still unexpectedly hits me like a thump in the stomach. She's left this huge hole.

I've lost pets before. It's always sad, but I've never felt quite so bereft before. I' just so, so sad that she's gone. And I'm angry because she was too young. And I'm guilty because why didn't I know she was sick? I'm putting on a brave face every day but in private I sob in my car or cry myself to sleep. I just miss her.

Aww, I'm sorry. Have you got anyone you can sob to about it and have a little cuddle with?

She sounds beautiful, you gave a vivid description. Have you got a photo? Don't forget you loved each other

Thank you Lobster.

I've had a good old cry with family, but there comes a point when it's "only a cat" and you have to get on with it. People have been kind. Friends have been in touch because they understand how much she meant to me.

She was very small, and quite timid and skittish with strangers. You could come to the house and never even see her. But my favourite thing was when she'd jump up and miaow at me sternly because she wanted to go to bed, or wanted fresh water. She never did that with anyone else. It used to make my heart burst that this tiny, raggedy little cat was so sure that she was safe with me that she would boss me about and I'd jump up and do as she asked.

It sounds like you have a lot on and she was a comfort. Is there anyway to reduce the other stresses in your life?

This might sound really silly but if you have a really snuggly toy to hug at night it might help. You always miss them, life can be cruel at times. What was her illness? Someone on another thread said 'nature is without sentiment' which is true enough. Anyway sleep well x

I’m so so sorry, wish I could say something to make you feel better, I hope you can take some comfort in how loved your cat must have felt, so many are not so fortunate to have owners like you, sounds like you are going through the natural stages of grief, denial, guilt, anger, one day you will reach the acceptance stage, I think the Blue Cross offer counselling for pet bereavement, maybe worth calling them. Look after yourself and please don’t feel guilty none of this was your fault

sorry for your loss. I love the way you write about your wee lovely cat. She knew you loved her and was comfortable telling you what she wanted. You are obviously a lovely owner and I hope you see your way to getting another kitty when you're ready.

My big black cat is nearly 11 and I am besotted with him. He frightens everyone else

Hopefully your sadness gives way to smiles and good memories soon.

She sounds like she was a wonderful companion cat and had you at her beck and call! I get what your saying, pet grief is somehow seen as less worthy than a human death yet we are supposed to carry on within 5 minutes of a pet death as if nothing has happened, a companion pet who you have nurtured and shared your life with possibly more than any human is suddenly gone in is traumatic and heartbreaking but you have to hide it....many will understand what you are going through on here though.

The loss of a beloved pet is devastating, I thought it might help just to acknowledge that! No, she was not a human being - but in a simpler way she was your friend and had her own little personhood. I'm sure that you will always miss her.

All I can say is that it will get better and you will be able to enjoy your fond memories of her in time. Cats are much more fragile and it isn't unusual for you not to have been able to predict or recognise her illness. Whilst she lived she was a happy cat.

It's not a "replacement" (how could it ever be as their personalities are so different) but I suggest that when you are feeling ready you adopt another rescue cat, or two. You would be doing a good deed (making another cat happy in her memory) and their companionship will bring you comfort and joy, without ever replacing the memories of the cat you have lost. You could consider adopting an older cat who has lost their owner, you would have something in common.

Thank you everyone.

It's nice to talk about her.

She always used to seep with the children when they were sick. Probably because she liked the warmth! But it was sweet. We used to say she had nurse duties.

And when my youngest was grumpy and wouldn't sleep alone, little cat would curl up with her and give me an hour or two in the evenings.

She was very special.

We have another cat. He misses her too. He's a typical big boy - ruled by his belly, and a bit of a bully to the neighbour's cats. We won't get another as our boy is rather territorial and unlikely to accept a newby. He was a rescue too - but where she bonded tightly to me, he went the other way and is a bit wild and angry. We do love him, though we sometimes say we have to as no one else would!

So sorry to hear this. It's so hard when a special one passes away, especially if it's unexpected. I had a cat for many years. He came to me when he was 18 months and was PTS at the age of 20. I thought I'd never get over his death and couldn't even say his name for 3 years without getting tearful. You just need time. She was your good friend and will always be with you. So sorry for your loss

It is hard to lose a beloved cat especially a young cat. When we had our old girl PTS last year the vet said not to underestimate the grief from losing a pet which is true. You live in the same home and spend so much time together.
Most if us on this board have lost cats so we know how hard it is but obviously you've had other stuff going as well which can make it hurt more.
Yes Blue Cross do have a bereavement line as do Cats Protection-it may help to talk to them if you want to.

I am so sorry for your loss Goose. I know exactly how you feel, and honestly it really is gut wrenchingly awful. I lost my boy October 2016 and I still feel lost. We have 9 other cats, and he was the alpha. He left a huge gap in the clowder and it has taken a long time for the others to adjust to not having him.

He would cuddle me when I was down or ill, he would just know when someone needed a cuddle. He would suckle on my clothes and basically thought I was Mum. When I was particularly ill he would go out and hunt, he would guard his kill and only let me deal with it (which isn't really what you want when you're ill, but hey) he would bring me back ever more impressive presents, a kestrel, 2 squirrels, and a wild hare.

All I can say is it does get better, but just slowly. Sending you lots of hugs x x

Here is my first cat as a kitten with my toy. Because I was in primary school I would tuck them up in bed each night with a jug of milk by their side.

Don't feel bad about missing them, you love their little personalities and presence