Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

I don't want to give my cat up.

34 replies

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 21/03/2018 10:30

We adopted Casper back in January, but it became very clear very quickly that he wasn't suitable for a home with children. He bites and scratches all of us, and unlike other cats I've had it's unprovoked and without warning. My DC learnt very quickly not to go near him - they're frightened of him - but he would still sometimes jump out and bite them as they passed him. He seemed to get particularly territorial about the stairs anf would attack them as they went up or down.

We contacted the rescue who were very apologetic and said they would rehome him and we were welcome to chose another of their cats. They've now got someone who's interested in meeting him and possibly adopting him.

Thing is - I've grown to really love him, in spite of his behaviour. I think it is getting better, albeit slowly, and I think it'll get better again once he's allowed out (he's desperate to get into the garden, and I think a lot of the biting is frustration-based). And when he's not biting he can be so lovely. When I come in the house he comes straight over and demands to be picked up for cuddles. He gives me kisses, he loves strokes and attention, and he's very "talkative."

He's very much become "my" cat, which is part of the problem - he was supposed to be a family pet. I know him going to a child-free home is probably best for everyone, but it's breaking my heart.

OP posts:
Cailleach1 · 21/03/2018 21:57

Also, my looper was the second cat and he was the one who was passive aggressive to our first cat.

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 23/03/2018 13:42

Aargh. Just met the couple who are interested in Casper. They are a lovely older couple, with no children and a big garden. She was a real eccentric cat lady, who clearly understands and adores cats, I've no doubt she'd give him a lovely life.

They would like to take Casper and another cat the rescue has, so he'd have a playmate. They were understanding about my reluctance to let him go and have me to let them know on Sunday.

I feel like if I keep him I'm being selfish to everyone - including Casper! But he is happy here and I do love him. Don't know what to do for the best.

OP posts:
Want2beme · 23/03/2018 15:11

Did Casper like them? Has the rescue done a home check on them? If you let him go, you will miss him, but over time it'll get easier. Has there been any change in him over the last few days? If he continues to dislike your DC, you'll be stressed to hell about that, but it's a chance you have to take if you want to keep him. It's a very sad time for you.

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 24/03/2018 21:46

I could cry right now, but they'd be happy tears - Just had the loveliest message from the woman who came to meet Casper - they've found another cat and won't be taking Casper, as he's obviously very loved and happy where he is, and they'd hate to part him from us.

I feel like this is a sign that he's meant to stay here.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 24/03/2018 22:35

I do hope so.

Toddlerteaplease · 25/03/2018 23:09

So glad you've decided he's staying. He's gorgeous.

GingerKitCat · 25/03/2018 23:44

Great news!

If you get a minute check out Grandpa Mason on Facebook (or Youtube)! He was part of a feral colony and is living his twilight years chilling with kittens in a foster home! He adores them. Still very wary of humans.

I don't know much about feline dynamics but maybe Casper would be okay with a kitten if he could establish the pecking order.

TheLongRider · 25/03/2018 23:51

We adopted a black 12 week old kitten from a rescue nearly 2 years ago. From the beginning she was bitey, scratchy and generally a pain in the arse. She has mellowed with age. My DD was just 7 and has always had cats but even she was intimidated.

We found that distraction techniques, such as throwing a toy instead of being pounced on or playing with a long handled toy helped our DD and cat get to know each other. Teaching DD to read friendly cat body language (tail up, letting the cat approach and sniff her) helped and getting her to let the cat come to her rather than launch herself at the cat. (If the tail is wagging, don't come stroking). Now they are firm friends and the mog is currently asleep on DD's bed!

Kittens can be just as horrible as older cats. I think if Casper knows that he's got one human to whom he has a secure attachment, he will probably come round to the children over time.

If the stairs are a point of conflict with the children, I would leave toys near the stairs or a piece of string that Casper can chase instead of the child. Once Casper and the children get used to the idea that play will take place rather than a fight, things will get better. So, throw the toy mouse for cat, cat scampers after toy, child goes upstairs.

It'll take time but you will all get there. I'm glad you're keeping him.

EachandEveryone · 26/03/2018 16:57

Are the children old enough to be his feeder?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.