Would you ever have another cat.........?

[tearsofrobertsmith]

Our absolutely beloved and adored little cat was run over and killed outside our house a few days ago. We didn’t see or hear anything and some lovely neighbours came out and whisked him off to the vet to be scanned for a chip which fortunately he had. The vet contacted us straight away to let us know. He died quickly we believe according to the neighbours. They didn’t know he was ours hence taking him to be scanned for a chip.

We are bereft. He was only about 18 months old. He was kept in at night and slept on our bed between us. He was my first cat and I can’t believe how much I fell for him. I feel like nothing in the world will be right again. My husband is stoical but he adored him too and is concerned about me and our children who love him so much. The children are devastated.

I can’t believe he’s gone, the wind rattles the cat flap and I think he’s coming in. I keep thinking I hear him but it’ll be a cat on tv. I know it’ll pass. I know that. My son said the hurt he feels is worth it to have had our cat for the time we did. Deep for a pre-teen. He was his first pet.
I’m sorry, I just wanted to get it all down. I can’t speak in real life without howling and I don’t want to freak my kids out.

My first instinct was to think that I’ll never put us through this again, or risk another cats life again. The pain is too much. I thought my husband would have been the same as it was my idea to get our first one. He went along with it as he knew it would make us happy. Then he fell for him too straight away. But he said last night that if I wanted another in the future he would be happy with that. Then I started to feel slightly better, the thought that I didn’t have to go through the rest of my life catless.

But I can’t get the voice out of my head that it’s so selfish to want another, to risk another poor cat on the road. Our road isn’t especially busy, it’s not a through road, more like a a few cul - de - sacs run together. Sometimes there are cars coming in too fast. But it’s not especially busy. I have friends with cats that they’ve had for years on some really busy rat run roads. We feel so cheated. Has anyone here gone through the same and got another cat later? And did it work out for you? Sorry for the epic essay. But it has helped to get it down. If anyone responds please be kind, if you think it’s a terrible idea that’s ok and I’m happy to hear opinions. But I’m extremely fragile at the moment. I’m not considering another cat for a long time. I’ve not said anything to my kids about it. It’s just thoughts in my head. Thank you.

Just a thought, but if you do get another, try and time it for during the winter months when it’s easier to keep them in until they’re very settled.

Thank you all. Yes, we definitely are interested in taking in a rescue when the time is right. We had our boy from a kitten which was a lovely experience but I love the thought of taking in an older cat. I’d love another black cat.

You’re right about taking one in the winter months, our boy can to us in December which was perfect as he was cozy in the house and the kids weren’t racing in and out all the time. It was fairly easy to contain him until he was the right age to go out. He was 6 months old in the April and he was neutered then and let out for the first time a few weeks later. He didn’t go far really. He was always quick to appear when we went outside. I think the furthest I ever actually saw him go was on Halloween last year. He followed the kids and I all around our road, trotting after us and waiting on people’s garden paths whilst the kids did there guising. He was really cool addition to their Halloween look!

Thanks again all. I feel better for hearing all of your input. I definitely can’t envision a cat free house. When the time is right we’ll bring another home. An indoor cat would be ideal but my children are young and I can foresee problems with doors being left open etc. But I’d take advice from the rescue, if there was a cat that seems particularly suited to indoor life we could make it work. Frankly I’d do anything to avoid this ever happening again. Thanks again.

So sorry for your loss. It WILL get easier I promise, and you'll be able to maybe frame a few nice pics of your lovely cat for you and the kids to remember them by.

As others have said, indoor cats should be an option when you're ready to consider it. I got two (brother and sister) years ago from a rescue and had to keep them indoors due to the busy road we lived beside at the time. One passed away at 13 due to kidney issues, the other's still going strong at 15! They can have a perfectly decent quality of life indoors, particularly if they've never been outdoor cats x

Thank you, I know you’re right. It seems a long way off to ever feel better about it all but I know we will. Yes, I think indoor cats might be the way to go. Thank you.

Give yourself time to grieve, all of you, and talk about him lots. It can be shocking how hard it hits x

He really was a handsome boy, black cats are just awesome!

That's so sad, could you cat proof your garden so a future cat could go out in the garden but no further - I personally don't agree cats should be kept indoors full time it's not in there nature they should be allowed out IMO x

Aww he was a lovely cat, so sorry for your loss.

We had two cats and one was run over a month before I was due to give birth to our first DD. It was horrendous and I couldn't stop crying, but it did get easier. We do still think about him and he'll always be remembered by us.

My other cat thrived being on her own too. A rescue cat when you're ready sounds like a great idea. I don't think we could ever be a cat free house.

I hope you feel better soon

We lost our black cat five weeks ago. I actually cried reading your post because I could have written it myself. We live beside a busy country road but he was knocked down on the lane in front of our house. I know exactly what you mean about the pain. It is horrendous and my husband sobbed like a baby and is still bereft. We managed a week without a cat. We just couldn't do without one, the house was so empty. We too wanted a black one and we sought out one that had had a really rotten time. He is exactly the same age as our adored boy. He is not the same, don't know if we will ever love him as much. But he is so happy with us and it gives us pleasure to have transformed his life. I am so sorry.

And I know what you mean about feeling cheated. We have lots of cats around us, some semi feral , few if any as worshipped as our boy. And they are all strolling around in the sunshine. It is so unfair.

I lost my cat about two years ago, he was 6. He was knocked over and killed. It was a horrible horrible time, we still had one cat (and still have her she's 11 soon). We got a kitten about 4/6 months later. More because someone was looking to find homes for 3 kittens, the other two went to my parents. Our little kitten hasn't replaced the one we lost but I think we had a good home to give so why not give it. I've probably had 12+ cats in my life, and thankfully only 2 have ever been knocked over. The rest lived to a ripe old age. Don't rule it out, just give yourselves time to miss your cat. Sorry for your loss.

I really understand how you feel. Our beautiful little cat was run over last week. We live near a very busy road but she was hit on our quieter street and I had never considered she would get hit on our road. I had her from when she was a kitten and she loved to explore and was always out and about and I was aware she crossed the busy road. She was only 2 and a half and I have never cried as much as the day she died, it was heartbreaking. I am just glad that we were the ones who found her and we had cuddles before we took her up to the vet. She was the happiest and most friendly little thing, I have to keep reminding myself of that everytime I think of finding her. I have already been looking for another kitten and have exactly the same worries about the road. My family have had 9 cats (and lived on busy roads) and only 2 have been killed after being hit by a car. I am worried if I have another that they will get killed but our house feels so quiet and lonely without her. I am considering keeping my next cat as an indoor cat but I know with my last she was desperate to go outside and I wonder whether it is cruel to keep a cat inside. I really hope you start to feel a little better soon.

My old boy cat had to be PTS a couple of years ago because of cancer. We now have two one year olds. Old boy will have always have a place in my heart. But our two have their needs and personalities. They needed a home. They are so vulnerable, I figured it may as well be with people who liked cats. If they ever get ill, at least they will be looked after. And they bring such joy to a home. We are always laughing at their antics.

Your boy is so sleek. He really was a black panther. The heartache does dull a little over time. Especially when you think about how he had a good home and never knew hunger and neglect.

I couldn't put myself through it again. I lost all three of my babies within a year: splenic rupture, old age and lymphoma. The last loss was the hardest - I am under care of a psychiatrist, pop diazepam like sweeties and can hardly sustain my job. He was my little boy and I'm too fragile to cope.

I share your pain and hope that those awful thoughts soon give way to the most precious and cherished memories you need

Thank you again for all of your replies. Pinkhouses, that’s is it exactly, like feeling cheated. Our stories are similar. My husband came home last night and said he saw kittens advertised and there was a lack one and he thought I should know. My heart kept and sunk and leapt and sunk. But I’ll wait as my son is still in a state and I think it’ll be confusing for him.
Daviesmum, I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I truly hope life will be a bit kinder to you soon and you can feel less wretched. I hope that time will heal you.
Thanks again to everyone of you. I’ve never posted anything like this before and I’m so glad I did. I’m sorry to all of you who have lost a cat or a pet. It’s a terrible pain in the heart isn’t it. Pet doesn’t seem to be enough of a word for what they are to us. Mine would sleep on his back in the crook of my arm like a baby. And do that lovely slow blinky thing whiles gazing at us. I think he loved us too.

I really feel our next one will be rescue boy. I’d love to make a difference to a cat needing a home.

Get an indoor cat! Ours have a cat flap and can go out whenever they want in the door. One of them however seems scarred for life at having been born feral - I doubt she’s even got as far as the end of the drive! If she goes out when I go out, she scoots back in the house as soon as I turn round - she won’t risk being shut out on her OWN!

In the daytime not the door!

Definitely keep the next one as a house / garden cat. Have you heard of cat proofing the garden? And it’s absolutely fine to keep moggies this way, just like many thousands of pedigrees are. Moggies are just as special and worthy of protection from the hazards outdoors can pose.

Your boy was gorgeous, I’m so sorry he has been taken at such a young age.

Sorry for your loss. I hope you consider having an indoor car. Mine are indoor cats and very happy.