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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

How to make cats be friends

16 replies

PositiveCattitude · 11/03/2018 17:34

What is the best way to make two adult female cats be friends?
The older one has been seen to hit her with a closed paw and hiss.(When she thinks I am not looking)
I play with toys with them and occasionally the young one will try to approach the older one only to be chased.

OP posts:
viccat · 11/03/2018 19:40

You can't make them be friends. The best you can hope for is to help then co-exist peacefully - avoiding each other if they choose to but without fights.

Have you had them for a long time or are you introducing a new cat to the household? Either way you'll find useful tips on www.catchat.org/index.php/new-cat-introductions

QueenOfIce · 11/03/2018 21:06

You can get a feliway plug in for cats that don't get on, it's different to the original, maybe give that a go?

ineedamoreadultieradult · 11/03/2018 21:10

Our cats are not friends. They will sometimes curl up on top of each other to sleep, they will also sometes happily play side my side. They do however have wrestling matches and swipe at each other when the mood takes them. Generally it's closed paws and mouthy 'bites' like kittens would do but the message is clear - back off I'm not in the mood!

ineedamoreadultieradult · 11/03/2018 21:11

Oh I missed the point of my post. It's quite rare for unrelated cats to never ever get grumpy with their housemate.

CatchingBabies · 11/03/2018 22:25

Feliway friends plug in can be very useful.

cozietoesie · 11/03/2018 23:13

How long have they been together?

PositiveCattitude · 12/03/2018 15:54

One is 4 and the other is 13. I have had them both since kittens.It seems to be worse in the garden as the younger cat stays indoors a lot and uses the litter tray usually.She has started to go outside more.
I think the older cat considers the garden her territory.I haven't seen her hit or hiss indoors.She hasn't injured the younger one but is warning her.When my younger cat is outside she sometimes puffs her fur and tail up if she walks past the other cat.I just want them to be happy and feel safe.
Thanks for the replies.

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 12/03/2018 16:08

Has it been like this for four years?

ineedamoreadultieradult · 12/03/2018 19:19

I honestly wouldn't worry it sounds like normal cat behaviour. They both have access to outside if they weren't happy they would vote with their feet.

wtffgs · 12/03/2018 19:24

Ours co-existed and tolerated each other. They just didn't really like each other tbh. We now have just one moggy. I'd love another but finances and her happiness tell me not to Sad

I want to live in a house where 5/6 cats interweave daily lives and I have time/£££ for vet appointments.

viccat · 12/03/2018 19:45

I think it sounds ok too if it's just an occasional spat and not all-out fighting.

cozietoesie · 12/03/2018 20:44

I think that's right. If you had a real fight, Boy would you know it. It sounds as if they don't much like each other (as we understand it) but they've achieved a modus vivendi which is geared towards the older cat 'ruling the roost'. It doesn't mean that they feel either unhappy or unsafe - it's just the way cats are. Smile

cozietoesie · 12/03/2018 20:53

PS - I'm assuming they're both neutered. Smile

PositiveCattitude · 13/03/2018 08:10

They are both neutered.
I have only seen the hissing and fighting for about a month.When the younger cat started to go outside more.
When I got the younger cat the older cat hissed at her and ignored her at first but there were no real problems.
My next door neighbour told me a year ago that my older cat had pounced on her cat in their garden.
Maybe my older cat is a bit bossy to other cats,to me she is,affectionate,gentle,and we have a close bond.

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 13/03/2018 20:55

You're No. 1 then. Smile (Or at least an equal.)

It sounds OK. She's likely just reinforcing the pecking order - and if the younger one chooses to spend more time inside, so much the better for her. Come back if it escalates.

buckeejit · 13/03/2018 21:06

My 2 don't get on, the older one came 2nd but thinks she's boss & is a super bitch. They fight frequently but also look for each other when they're not around!

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