Cat has semi moved out. What to do?

[jaffajiffy]

We’ve had two cats since I got them from a rescue home 12 years ago. They’ve been with me through two house moves, two children, and all fine. They are both outdoor cats with a microchip catflap. About a year ago, the tabby, who has always been well known in every neighbourhood, started coming home less and less. I tried to find out where she was going by posting on our community web site and trying a ribbon to her collar asking for someone to ring me. On her visits back home, we noticed her getting fatter, and assumed she had chosen another home with tastier meals. I’ve heard of cats doing this, so we took it on the chin and thought we would move on. She would still pop in from time to time, so we knew she was well. Eventually the new family took her to the vet where the microchip revealed that she was ours, so we spoke on the phone and agreed to continue the arrangement. The visits grew less and less, so recently I got back in touch to find out that she’s no longer at the new family’s house at all. I was getting worried with no visits and also, sadly, reports that the m25 killer has been in our neighbourhood.

Yesterday she strolled back in. We locked her in overnight but she’s not happy.

What shall I do? Let her continue her new life? Keep her in and do the feliway/ enforced seclusion thing to hopefully retrain her that this is ‘home’?

We’ve been doing flea and worm treatments and she’s due her yearly check in April so we aren’t abdicating responsibility, but it’s harder to look after her if she doesn’t come home! Also it’s hard to carry out vet instructions for food/ dental hygiene etc if other people are giving her soft unhealthy food.

Anyone dealt with this before? Thanks 😼😼🙀

Try the ribbon and phone number trick, tell them dcat has a medical condition and they aren't to feed it. If they think she may get sick on their watch they may shoo her away!! Then you need to up your game with the posh nosh!!

I'd try keeping her in. She has nowhere really to call 'home' and technically she is your cat. It's worth a try anyway.

Yes, try to keep her in, at least for a while. She does need someone to take responsibility for her health (as you’ve been trying to do) so being a completely free spirit isn’t really going to work. If she only started straying recently despite various upheavals through her life there’s a good chance of winning her over again.

Btw, if you mean you normally feed her dry food, wet food is actually much better for her overall health (especially as she ages) and an added bonus is most cats prefer it too. So a double win for her health and making her think being at home is a Good Thing. Good luck!

I would echo trying to keep in for a bit with a Feliway plugged in and see what happens. She may settle with you. It is hard though when they decide they like to go elsewhere.

I feel for you OP. We have 3 cats, next door has 2 cats. One of theirs spends almost all of his time in our house (and our cats are perfectly accepting). It is a tad embarrassing when he sits in the sitting room window looking out for everyone to see.
We try not to encourage him as we know he is very loved and cared for in his home, but they have small children and we don't and I think he likes the constantly lit woodburner and general peace in our house. It does make me a bit uncomfortable though as I know he is not ours and don't want anyone to think we are "stealing him". But with 3 others coming and going I can't easily keep him out and he's no bother.
If my 3 were territorial it'd be different but all 3 of them happily share their food, sleeping places and toys with him - often curled up side by side so I've given up trying to intervene.
I'd totally get it if our neighbour wanted us to shut him out though - so far they've not asked (they know he comes to us).