Want to do best for cat, advice please.

[ATisketATasket]

Hi, so our lovely neighbour has been very poorly and is unable to care for her (11year old) cat anymore.
We had a note through our door from her son asking if anyone would take the cat. We have been keen to get a cat for ages and my dh is very keen to take the cat.
Potential problem is the cat moving from life with an elderly lady, to life with 2 small children. Cat would have it's own 'space' as needed and would not want for cuddles, love, food and care. So as not to dripfeed we may also be moving house soon (to a more rural area).
No one else has shown interest, so it is us or a shelter at the moment, and the shelters around here are full of cats.
So mumsnet, please be gentle as i genuinely want to do what's best, but what is likely to be more stressful: us or a shelter? Anyone have any experience of this type of situation or any tips if we do take him on?

You would be way better than a shelter I expect. I am sure you would teach your children appropriate behavior with the cat (no chasing, no grabbing, gentle, etc)

Worth a try!

If the cat doesn't settle you can think about a plan B.

Try to find out what the cat is like. and if not too jittery (the cat i mean) then go for it. cats are ace.

Imo dc giving Dreamies would be a great way to build a lovely relationship!!

Give the cat a chance to stay out a shelter.

make sure the cat has a safe child free zone, escape routes out of rooms, and teach your children not to chase the cat. When the cat wants to be alone let it !

if it doesn't work, don't feel guilty !

Take the cat OP, it wil soon adapt and will be much happier with you than in a shelter. Just make it clear to your children that the cat will need time and space to adjust, and that affection has to be on the cats terms. If you could arrange to meet it in its own home first that would be great, see how you all get on. Go on you know you want to! Good luck.

Thank you for your replies.
My 3yr old is good with animals as she has had exposure regularly at nursery and with other family members, and understands not to rush up to animals etc. The smallest dc is not fully mobile so both would be carefully supervised.
I think he is quite a homely cat that likes a fuss, but not much exposure to children that's all we know so far. We will very much make it on his terms.
Ok i feel buoyed that there hasn't been any 'that is an awful idea for the cat' type messages.
we will arrange to pop over and meet him, and hopefully we will become regulars over on this board :)

When my Mum died her neighbours showed an interest in her cat and they asked if they could take over his feeding so they could get used to each other. After a couple of days they said yes. Would that be an option for you?

I meant to ask, Pink. How's he doing?

Last I heard he was doing fine and completely ruling the roost - he is known as Lord Muck! I wondered how he would get on after it just being him and Mum for nearly 3 years but he seems to love the comings and goings and all the attention that goes with it. They had children to visit and he loved them and was playing with his toys with them and I don’t know if he ever met any children at Mum’s!

I definitely think it would be worth a try OP. For the first two years George was a nervous wreck, last Christmas he started to come out of himself and he took to his new family within a couple of days.

Totally depends on the cat. Ensure there are some child free areas it can escape to. They also like high places! Have you for one room the cat could be shut in for the first day at least? That way it can hear family sounds but muted!
TBH if it's your neighbour the cat may be used to the sound of your kids playing etc!!
If it doesn't work for any reason just want to mention the cinnamon trust. They can provide a permanent foster for the cat if needed.

Oh and at 11 you may not be able to get pet insurance. Don't know. Be sure to budget accordingly!

They also like high places!

Most do. Mine is scared of heights...

I have already checked for insurance. Initially it looked pretty bleak, but i have found a few reasonable providers!
Thanks for the tips. Will keep you updated!

Fantastic! Good luck.

I met a cat today that had originally been abandoned in a flat and found starving by a clients husband. Three years on its a huge furry, purring, confident beast. It climbed on me as I attempted to do a postnatal visit amongst her busy household.

OP it sounds like you’ve been really responsible and have thought everything through , I reckon the cat will be lucky to call your house it’s home

I think you sound like the purrrrfect new home for the cat!
Apologies for bad jokes, been with DP too long.

Update!
So the little cat came to us yesterday. We took him straight up to our bedroom where it would be quiet, plenty of hiding places etc. We popped in and out quietly during the day, talking gently etc.
He is obviously very nervous and stressed poor thing. He was hissing to begin with, but this has stopped.
He is mainly hiding under our bed, however we found him on our bed last night. He let us both get in and even be stroked, but then he did a massive wee and climbed off and went back under the bed
As half the bed was soaked we cleaned it up as best we could and i went to sleep in my dds room on the spare bed, leaving dh with the cat. He said he was ok overnight, jumped on the bed once, but then straight down again.
He has evidently been downstairs at some point as he has also done a massive wee on our sofa.
He is eating a bit and has his litter tray in our bedroom but hasn't used it yet.
I bought one of those calming sprays. No idea if that has helped!
Any tips or ideas? Particularly about weeing in inconvenient places!

I would start by restricting him to one room. He could be scared and unsettled. He could have a UTI though. Are you using the same litter he is used to? Is he neutered? How many litter trays?

He is literally just in one room, but we left the door open at night in case he wanted to explore whilst we were asleep.
The litter tray (just one) and litter came with him. Do you think we should get another for downstairs?
I definitely think he is both scared and unsettled!

I would keep him to just one room for now.
I would get a second tray when he can explore more.

Ultimately i don't want his litter tray in our bedroom either, but if we are keeping him in one place for now it seems logical to have it in our room, but please tell me if i am doing it wrong!

Ok i will close the door and contain him completely

I don't think there is one right way to do it! When we bought our kittens home I shut them in the kitchen overnight. Wipe clean floors! They had a cat tree to climb on and somewhere to sleep. Had to clear the counters though!