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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Need to rehome cat - how to help distraught DD?

34 replies

Cutandpaste · 04/12/2017 00:28

We adopted a female cat from Celia Hammond six months ago. She was 9 months old. We have two DD, 4 and 7.

Over the last month the cat has starting daily stalking and prowling around the younger child especially, once even attempting to pounce on her back. She’s left a deep scratch on the hand of DD1.

We been to the vet twice in the last month in case there was something we weren’t aware of. The vet now says it may be better to rehome her as we can’t trust her not to hurt the children. We’ve tried Feliway and painkillers as the vet though she had some tender swelling in her back which may have affected her mood.

The cat is fine with DH and I but she does try to nip our ankles. Is this something cats do? DH had dogs as a child, I didn’t have any pets but the cat refuge did a home visit and spent a long time matching the right cat to us.

DD1 is distraught and has been in tears all day at the thought of not seeing her best friend ever again. She’s very attached to her and adores her, this is her first experience of losing someone you love. Any advice on how we can help her? We’ve tried to explain that the cat may be happier in a home where adults can look after her, and that our children may like a cat that doesn’t lash out or prowl around them but I don’t know what else I will help ease the pain she is feeling. Any advice to help either the cat or daughter?

We really don’t want to rehome her but we are worried about what may happen when we aren’t in the room.

OP posts:
Cutandpaste · 06/12/2017 00:22

Just coming back to update/answer questions.

The only reason we were considering rehoming the cat was because the vet told us it would be the best thing to do as she may be happier in a home without children. That seemed like sound advice but have looked into cat training over the last couple of days and have started doing this, along with making sure she has playtime with us in the morning and evenings. She goes out during the day but actually spends more time inside, watching the neighbours' cats from the window. My husband works from home so she's always got company during the day, if she wants it.

We've got a few more toys this week and are interacting with her. Her mad half hours seem to be at roughly the same time every day so we are trying to pre-empt them by playing with before she gets to that stage.

My older daughter is 7 and happily plays/hugs/interacts with her and the cat follows her around. The younger one is 4 and doesn't interact with her so much. It's this child the cat seems to target when she's in her 'attack' mode, mainly when we aren't in the room.

OP posts:
EachandEveryone · 06/12/2017 00:52

Which means the child could be spooking the cat accidentally if you aren’t there to see it. I’m no expert but I can’t imagine a little Cat would pick on someone. Mine do t like it if you walk towards them and bend to pick them up it could be something simple like that?

Cutandpaste · 06/12/2017 01:48

Just realised that my last post reads as if DD2 is provoking the cat when we are not there. This isn’t the case at all, and we’ve seen the cat launch herself onto Dd2 when she’s been sitting on the floor playing with her back to her. DD2 gets very involved with the games she is playing and doesn’t take much notice of who is around her.

We've had the cat for six months with no problems at all, she is now 14 months old. The change in her actions was overnight and very sudden which is why we took her to the vet, who advised that rehoming her was the best option. We’ll try the training options first though as it seems fairly standard behaviour judging from the posts above and we would much rather keep her.

OP posts:
TripleAlphaProcess · 06/12/2017 02:26

I’m reading with interest, and also looking for similar advice. We have a 9 month old rescue tabby who is constantly biting, scratching and pouncing. He will very rarely come up and sit next to me, at which point I can stroke his chin for a bit if he’s sleepy enough. Otherwise all he does is bite, there’s minimal affection!
I’ve learned that kids crouching on the floor while playing are a definite target for pouncing on, they must look like playful cats in that position?!
The kids love him though, me not so much, I have once or twice thought we are not coping but I’m hopeful he’ll mellow out. I’ve suggested another cat to DH but he’s flat out refusing.
We try to ware him out with play and withdraw attention when the biting starts. He goes outside but shows no interest in leaving the property.
He lept at my head from the behind the sofa the other day and scratched my face. He has to be shut away at night because he will scratch the kids faces while they sleep... Is this normal kitten stuff???

TripleAlphaProcess · 06/12/2017 02:27

Another cat as in for company and to play with, not a replacement!

lizzieoak · 06/12/2017 02:42

Sounds like your cat thinks it’s Kato from the Pink Panther.

Seriously though, it sounds pretty normal for a young cat. The mad half hours get less over time. They’re just getting their beans out and trying to initiate play.

We have two cats, brothers, one is a complete loon and tears around at least twice a day attacking chairs and playing soccer with his cat toys, smacking his brother on the hip then taking off, and leaping out at me from behind curtains. I find it funny and play boo with him and trail fabric “snakes” around. The other cat thinks he’s far too mature for this nonsense. Mature cat, though, nipped a bit when we first got him, but not hard, & we got him used to being stroked by showing him our cell phones! While he was thus hypnotized he got used to us and is now a complete cuddle bug.

Their body language and behaviours are very different to dogs. I’m glad you’re giving him a chance.

BulletFox · 06/12/2017 03:32

My little kitten in primary school used to make me cry sometimes as when I wanted to curl up with her in bed if I made the slightest movement she'd be pouncing.

As a 9 year old I just wanted her to look cute Grin

She developed into the most placid cat ever, she was lovely.

Hope it works out, OP

Orangebird69 · 06/12/2017 03:36

Is it just me that loves a naughty cat and finds them hilarious? Blush And I say that as someone whose legs were so badly scratched by one cat that I had to wear trousers for about 2 months because it looked so awful 😂😂

TheHodgeHeg · 07/12/2017 06:00

I think all kittens are like this to some extent. I thought we'd turned a corner with my four month old but then she regressed. She bites a lot and if you look at her funny or do a particular meow she'll come charging over to "attack". It's just play though...I think...she never scratches or bites too badly which is what makes me think it's just play.

We've found relaxing music seems to help calm her down a little - weirdly some trippy pan pipes have had the best effect!

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