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Lymphoma stole my baby today

18 replies

DaviesMum · 26/09/2017 20:28

I'm absolutely broken tonight as I had my beautiful ten-year-old boy put to sleep today because of suspected lymphoma. The vet did an exploratory surgery and things looked so bad, that even though surgery might have worked, it would have brought him pain and given him only a few more weeks. It looked like an aggressive cancer - he was absolutely fit and healthy until last week.

I'm not a religious person but I do believe in an afterlife. My thoughts are consumed by the idea that he hates me for having him euthanised whilst under anaesthesia - I was in the room and had spent time with him before his prep. He was my last cat and since the loss of my son seven years' ago, has been the centre of my universe. My every thought and act has been for him, now I feel purposeless and lost. There's an enormous hole in my heart and I can't help but think that I would rather fall asleep and not wake up again.

Sorry for the public outpouring of grief. I just ache all over and feel so drained that I needed to let it out.

OP posts:
Want2beme · 26/09/2017 20:58

DaviesMum I'm so sorry for your sad loss of your son and to hear of the loss of your lovely puss. It is just such a difficult thing to cope with and to decide upon. You couldn't have made any other decision for him. You did what was right for him and he loved you. Don't think that he hates you, it just isn't true. Do you have anyone you can be with just now? Be gentle with yourself.

NecklessMumster · 26/09/2017 21:02

My cat being pts tonight, vet just rang to say no hope, only 7, kidney disease, very rapid. I dont want to be there as want to remember her as she was so I feel guilty too, and tearful.Take care, andFlowers

Weedsnseeds1 · 26/09/2017 21:03

I don't personally believe in an afterlife, but admire those with faith.
I do, however believe you made the right decision and if there is an afterlife, your cat will feel nothing but love for the decision you made. You saved him from suffering.

Mulch · 26/09/2017 21:06

I'm so sorry, they sound loved and like they've had a wonderful life with you xx

DaviesMum · 26/09/2017 21:11

I wish I could just hold them both in my arms forever, the torment is awful right now and so is the guilt. My other two cats died within months of each other aged 17 and 21, so I assumed we still had years together. I just have no idea how to go on.

I'm so sorry NecklessMumster, I feel for you and wish I could make all the pain disappear for both of us Flowers

OP posts:
timtam23 · 27/09/2017 22:45

I'm so sorry DaviesMum and NecklessMumster, Flowers for both of you

counterpoint · 28/09/2017 00:19

DaviesMum and NecklessMumster, I'm thinking of you both and sharing in your sorrow. I had to say goodbye to my beloved cat yesterday.
FlowersFlowersFlowers

joangray38 · 28/09/2017 00:42

So sorry Flowers

SteelyPip · 28/09/2017 11:29

Oh DaviesMum, i'm so very sorry to read your devastating news. Keep talking here and let all that pain out if it helps. There was no other kind choice to make and you absolutely did the right thing.Flowers

Neckless - I'm so sorry Flowers

sleepyhead · 28/09/2017 15:18

Just back from the vet and my 15yr old has a large abdominal mass, off her food and lethargic.

Vet suspects lymphoma and is arranging a scan to confirm. I thought it was a tooth issue so I'm very shocked.

I'm so sorry you've lost your boy. We thought we'd have far more time. She's been in perfect health her whole life up til now. Sad

DaviesMum · 28/09/2017 20:11

Thinking of you sleepyhead. Lymphoma can be treated though not cured, do stay positive.

OP posts:
DaviesMum · 28/09/2017 20:12

I got his ashes back today but the numbness just envelops me, I sit in a quiet, empty house looking for him or expecting to hear him jump off the bed. It is soul destroying that I even woke up this morning - I just keep thinking I could live another 40 or 50 years without my boys, and it's so intolerable.

OP posts:
MimsyBorogroves · 28/09/2017 20:16

I'm so sorry. I lost my Siamese boy when he was 18 months old to lymphoma in exactly the same circumstances. He was the best cat ever.

SteelyPip · 28/09/2017 22:12

DaviesMum - have you got someone IRL to support you? What are your plans for the weekend? Brew Cake please make sure you eat something.

I wish I had something wise or comforting to say, but I'm just sorry you're feeling so raw Please be kind to yourself while this grief is all around you.

pterobore · 29/09/2017 07:45

I lost two cats last year to lymphoma. I miss them now and the grief was overwhelming. My first cat died in February and four weeks later I found out my other cat had lymphoma too. I do feel better now and you will too one day but it's just getting through this first bit.
Do you want to talk about him at all? I'm so sorry for your loss

hellswelshy · 29/09/2017 10:43

So sorry op. We lost our darling 15yr old girl cat last month to lymphoma so I know how you must be feeling. Please don't blame yourself or feel your cat would resent you - you did the only thing you could, the kindest act possible, the alternative would have been worse. Look after yourself Flowers

DaviesMum · 30/09/2017 01:33

It's been an odd day spent with my mum, but started crying in a department store - member of staff gave me a hug.

Now, I'm high (first time in years) and purging after meals. I feel this is my life now: a bomb site. I have to go back to work next week, and I'm dreading the quiet, emptiness of this house as it is no longer "my home"

Keep crying all day. Go to laugh or spot some eye candy and I shut down - I can't have pleasure as it is just so WRONG! Angry

OP posts:
SteelyPip · 30/09/2017 11:20

Oh sweetheart, you need some proper support for this terrible grief, more than we can give you here. Could you have a chat with your GP? At my clinic there are also nurses you can talk to when you feel your state of mind is fragile. I hear what you're saying, but I can't comprehend the pain that this loss has reawakened. Would you like to tell us more about your son and your puss.

Big tight hug for you Flowers

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