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Nervy cat and preparing for first baby

7 replies

reetgood · 05/09/2017 15:39

We've had our rescue cat for around 18 months. It's estimated he was 3 or 4 when he came to us through a local cat charity. Unlike previous cats I have owned, he's a bit of a scaredy cat. It took him a week to leave the room we introduced him into, a month to venture downstairs and a few months to start venturing outside. When we got him he was living outside and being fed by someone, but at war with their cat so she couldn't take him on. He is super soppy and a stickler for routine. He doesn't do laps but does do intense neck padding/lying on your chest and face love. At the designated times, of course.

When he gets stressed he does tend to pee inside. Often it's territory wars that set him off - we've got a microchip cat flap and feliway helps when he is under stress. He also is very noise sensitive, we have a running joke with an imaginary list of all the things he is afraid of (plastic bags, new shoes on hard floor, my aunt, the washing machine, hairdryer, bin lorry, Hoover, new doors, more than three people in a room at the same time).

One of his 'safe' spaces is our bed. I am 5 months pregnant. I've read advice that we should transition him out of our bedroom but I feel really bad doing it! He looks so happy and content (when he is clawing at my neck in the morning for food). Is it a case of being strong now to save pain later though? or can I delay for longer and hope he can co-exist? I've also bought some baby noises to play, seeing as he's so noise sensitive and will stock up on feliway. He's probably not suited to a family house, but I have to try. Really would like to have him not pee everywhere though. Oh and we're getting new flooring in the next month, realising that the disgusting floors we have now aren't great baby surfaces. More trauma for our scaredy cat... any great tips?

Photo of him being very pleased and relaxed in his soon to be violated safe house...

Nervy cat and preparing for first baby
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Vinorosso74 · 05/09/2017 16:14

We started shutting our cat out the bedroom around 7 months so she got used to it. I won't lie the first 2 nights were hell-scrabbling and crying at the door (she isn't a very vocal cat either) but then she was fine. We let her sniff and rub the new things coming into the house.
When DD can home she took one look at small human asleep in car seat then hid under the bed for 2 hours. Since then she was fine but she is quite a relaxed cat.
Make sure your cat has places to escape especially once baby is on the move. I think the Cats Protection website has online leaflets about cats and babies. Remember to give time for cat, doesn't need to be long but some sort of fuss will help.
Ignore any health visitors who say how dangerous cats are for babies!

reetgood · 05/09/2017 16:30

Oh gawd I'm too soft... the first night he came to our room I think I lasted about 5 minutes of scrabbling before I opened the door. I don't know if I'll be able to endure the mewing. Particularly because he's such a scaredy cat. This is his routine am and pm usually in the pic...

He's going to spend the next year hiding behind the sofa, I know it...

Nervy cat and preparing for first baby
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MsMims · 06/09/2017 15:58

I wouldn't put him out the bedroom. It's a bit of an old wives tale that cats can harm babies, the reality is most cats will naturally run a mile from a noisy baby.

He sounds like a very sensitive soul (I have a couple of similar cats), I wouldn't risk upsetting his delicate nature by forcing him out of his safe space. Different if he goes by his own choosing.

DudeHatesHisCarryOut · 06/09/2017 16:42

I agree with MsMims - don't shut him out.

My mother used to feed me with the cat on her lap. Her HV had said to her it would be better to keep things as normal as possible for the cat, and so she did. Didn't do me any harm at all.

reetgood · 06/09/2017 16:59

:) ah good, I was hoping someone might say that. He is indeed a sensitive soul. I'm just hoping to minimise the peeing everywhere consequences of disrupting him. He's got a climb perch and likes to hide behind the sofas so I feel like he's got some good spots. He's so different from my last cat who was bomb proof, and had a visiting round of half the houses on the street... I always wonder what his story is. I think he was a stray but had no chip, wasn't neutered apparently.

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DudeHatesHisCarryOut · 06/09/2017 17:20

What I'd do, though I realise I'm probably OTT about these matters, is to go into the house by myself, though taking something that smells of the baby. That way you're not immediately bringing the wee one into the cat's territory. Plus the cat sees you by yourself. I'd then have DP bring the baby in and just leave on the floor so that the cat can meet him on his own terms.

I do realise that most probably wouldn't want to go that far, though.

reetgood · 06/09/2017 17:30

@dude haha no I doubt I'll be together enough to consider that! I am also considering a homebirth, boyfriend says that will finish the cat off for good..

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