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Original poster

Please be kind

38 replies

Coconutcreampie · 31/08/2017 10:14

My baby girl was hit by a car an hour ago. I'm in shock. Her sister has just come home and has no idea. Should I show her, is that cruel or kind so that she won't be thinking her sister has run off and left her. My brain isn't working right now, please be nice

OP posts:
DudeHatesHisCarryOut · 01/09/2017 19:57

Awwww, she was beautiful! What an absolute darling!

(Any chance of a picture of Galaxy too?)

mistermagpie · 01/09/2017 20:11

Oh I'm so sorry, I lost my Bengal a couple of weeks ago and have his brother here by himself now. I won't lie, the remaining boy has been very out of sorts and clingy but I'm hoping he settles down soon. It's devastating though, especially when it's out of the blue.

Re. your OP, a cat of mine got run over when I was about 7. My mum made me go and see the body to 'confront the reality'. Not great parenting imo. Different with cats though and maybe it will have helped?

Original poster
Coconutcreampie · 02/09/2017 08:33

This is galaxy. She's worrying me now too though as she didn't come home last night. I'm sure she's just working through some stuff and will come trotting in later but there's also that scared part of me that's thinking what if.

Also I may have made a mistake. I talked to the lady who found her who told my husband she was hit by a car, turns out she was found under a car but that car had been stationary for a few days so I'm worried it may have actually been a fox or something which seems more likely (she was very car savvy) as we have lots around here but that means it may not have been quick, she may have been scared and the thought of that is even worse. She was given back to us in a bag and there was a lot of blood so I didn't really have a good look as didn't want to see her that way. I've spoken to the vets who have said they know the reason she died and it will be on her notes but they won't tell me unless I ask. I'm not sure if I want to know or not. I haven't told husband or kids of this possibility and I won't as I'd prefer them to think it was quick and painless.

Please be kind
OP posts:
DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 02/09/2017 08:36

So sorry OPFlowers

Beautiful cats x

Original poster
Coconutcreampie · 02/09/2017 08:53

Galaxy's home Grin

OP posts:
Thingvellir · 02/09/2017 09:24

I'm so sorry for you OPFlowers

We lost one of our girls a couple of months ago. My two were also sisters and lost kitten was only 8 months old when she died.

Our remaining cat was out of sorts for a day or so (maybe partly because we kept her inside after the accident as I couldn't face letting her out after losing one to a car accident). She has been absolutely fine since though, possibly even happier. She was the wilder one, but now is calmer and a lot more affectionate - she's also getting loads more attention from the DC with only one cat around to play with.

My theory is that cats really only deal with what's in front of them in the moment, if her sister walked back in I think she'd make a huge fuss of her, but out of sight, out of mind IYSWIM.

DudeHatesHisCarryOut · 02/09/2017 10:55

Thank you for the Galaxy photo! She's a real stunner, isn't she. Sorry to hear she's been worrying you by staying out late. Could it be the weather? Mine didn't come in until after I'd gone to sleep, so sometime past 11. Probably nearer half past as I usually wake up when I hear her come in but I must have been in a deep sleep as I heard nothing. She's been taking advantage of the dry evenings, and takes no notice whatsoever of my telling her not to be late!

Please don't think too much about how Star died. Think about how she lived instead. x

Original poster
Coconutcreampie · 02/09/2017 11:07

@Thingvellir you may be right with your theory as today she seems absolutely fine, back to normal. I offered her stars blanket earlier in case she wanted a sniff but she ignored it. I had a breakdown earlier this year and my therapist did mebtio. That the best way to be happy is to focus on the now, maybe that's why cats seem so content because that's what they do.

@dudehateshiscarryout - your right, I Dont need to know I just need to focus on how she was. She was such a funny little thing, so beautiful and looked as if she should be graceful but she wasn't. She would just flop over in front of you and present her tummy for tickles. She was a little "tart" who would let absolutely anyone tickle her tummy and she was so gorgeous nobody could refuse. She used to follow me and the boys to school meowing loud all the way as of to say "come back, where are you taking my brothers" but once when there was some building work going on down the road I noticed I couldn't hear the meowing. I turned around and saw her lying and presenting her tummy to 6 or 7 big burly builders who were all fussing over her.

OP posts:
Want2beme · 02/09/2017 12:16

Ah, so many lovely memories of your precious little girl. She'll always be with youFlowers

Original poster
Coconutcreampie · 02/09/2017 22:53

I hope so wanttobeme. I've lost pets before but album always of old age (I realise this is incredibly lucky) my 2 previous cats lived to 20+ so it never even occurred to me that this might happen. The shock and unexpectedness hurts. I jeep feeling guilty as I work from home on the phones and the day prior she was meowing loudly wanting attention (Bengals are real chatty) and I was worried customers would hear her so I locked her out the front. I should have snuggled her more. 2 weeks ago I had the migraine from hell and she came and lay with me the whole time. When i had a breakdown earlier this year she stayed with me and calmed me. She was one of a kind.

OP posts:
Want2beme · 02/09/2017 23:30

She was there when you needed her. My little girl's got me through a very difficult time. She came into my life unexpectedly and has been a tonic. They mean so much to us but they're free spirits, aren't they and not happy unless they're doing what pleases them. You couldn't have prevented what happened. I know what it's like, it happened to a young cat of mine. I hope you manage get some sleep tonight.

LapdanceShoeshine · 02/09/2017 23:56

OP, please don't relate anything you did to what happened to her Sad

It was just bad luck. Hang on to your positive happy memories. She was a beautiful cat who had a great life with you ❤️

Original poster
Coconutcreampie · 03/09/2017 00:27

I hope she did. It just hurts so much. I'm a bit scared as I'm having regressions today related to my breakdown, hard to explain but basically I kept thinking I had travelled through time to stop a bad thing happening (my son getting very Ill) and I keep having small episodes today where I'm thinking the same thing, that i can travel back and stop it if only I can work out how to do it, I know that's impossible, I know that, and I know that it's just my brain going to its coping mechanism, I'm not going to break like earlier this year because I recognise that what Im thinking isn't real but its scary and I just have this part of me that keeps hoping its a mistake and that she's going to turn up at the door.

Blooming Galaxy isn't coming back in either. I was changing the curtains earlier and dropped the decorative know (light plastic thankfully) on her by accident. She went outside in a right huff with me and isn't coming in again. God I'm gonna be a state when my kids r teenagers and stay out all night clubbing arnt I!

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