My little cat is gone

[kernowgal]

I had him PTS this morning after watching him deteriorate over the past few weeks. It was really horrible and I am beside myself. Was supposed to be in work this afternoon but have told them I'm not going to be in. I just want to cuddle him and snuggle his little furry neck.

Can't stop crying. He was only with me for just over a year but he was just brilliant. I know I've done the right thing but it doesn't make it any better.

RIP JC, you were a total dude. xxx

So sorry OP You've done the right thing by him,

Sorry OP. It's hard to lose a pet but remember you did the kindest thing you could have done

I'm so sorry. Just remember you've done the right thing for him.

Sorry for your huge loss. It is so hard when they go. Thinking of you

So sorry for your loss. And doing "the right thing" doesn't make it any less painful.

Thanks everyone, I'm feeling a bit less overwrought now. Keep expecting to see him come into the room or be in his bed when I look over. I swore I wouldn't get another until the spring but I might have to give in sooner than that - it doesn't feel right without a furry chum being around! x

Forgive me this, I just needed to write it down before I go to bed.

I can't stop crying. Everything's setting me off. I found the RSPCA's page from when he was up for adoption and the description is making me cry and cry. I feel like I failed him, even though I know really I didn't; he was getting more and more ill and if it hadn't been today it would have been soon. I miss his little face and the way he draped himself on my lap, the way he'd sit close by if I had fish for dinner. I miss the yowling when he came in from his occasional trips outdoors, letting me know that he was back. I miss the thunder of paws up the stairs and the shouting outside the door. I miss the hello, please feed me miaows as soon as I got in from work.

I feel guilty for the times I found him annoying. I'd give anything to have him back under my feet even though he nearly made me fall down the stairs once. I feel very alone. I'd love to give him just one last cuddle. I really wasn't expecting to feel this bad.

Lots of love to everyone who's lost a pet. It's really, really horrible. x

How old was he kernowgal? Was he with you a long time? You'll be sad for a good while and that's ok. He was your family and such a big part of your life. Allow yourself to grieve. You will start to feel better eventually and then the little reminders of him will make you smile. The other night, I had my first dream about my 20 year old boy who was PTS recently. It was so lovely to see him and he was fit and well which made me really happy. We've all been driven mad be their behaviour, so don't dwell on that. He had a good life with you. I hope you sleep well (((((hugs)))))

Och OP, massive and real hugs for you
Pets are like little people and even though you know you've done the right thing it will still be so hard.

It's OK to feel sad for a while yet, and OK to talk to people too. It's amazing how many people out there who feel the same about their pets and will empathise with you. Be kind to yourself xxxxx

Thank you both. He was 16, I only had him for 18 months after his owner died but he settled in really quickly and was a delight from the start. He was my constant companion and that's what I'm finding hardest; it would be easier if he'd been aloof! Thank you again. X

So sorry for your loss. What a wonderful thing you did, taking him in and giving him a fantastic end to his life, with so much love and care. I know how heartbreaking it is, I had my 18yr old girl pts last Summer. Completely identify with all of your feelings, including feeling guilty for occasionally finding them annoying! We now have two new (ish) rescue cats in our lives, they make our house a home again.
Give it time OP, and RIP dear old Puss.