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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Time to say goodbye?

27 replies

isadorable · 04/08/2017 13:15

My much loved 18 year old cat who has kidney disease has started to use the whole house as his litter tray. He's been very vocal for a while now and this seems to be getting worse too.

He's lost a lot of weight. I agreed with the vet in February that we'd stop the fluids he had periodically as at his age, with no prospect of getting better we're just putting off the inevitable.

He's affectionate sometimes but most of the time he just eats and sleeps. I don't think he has much quality of life. He spends most of his time asleep in my bedroom.

I am really sad to say this but I cant really cope with the incontinence. I had a hip operation 7 weeks ago and I'm struggling to clean it up. Honestly, I think it is just old age. I think it is time now but I have a six year-old dd who is distraught. Sad

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 04/08/2017 13:17

If all of this is a symptom of kidney disease and there is no treatment then I can't really see you have much option. Flowers
Have they ruled out UTI or thyroid problems or arthritis?

Original poster
isadorable · 04/08/2017 13:22

Yes. He has had many examinations. My vet and I decided earlier this year as I say to stop aggressive treatment and this is just the beginning of the end. I do treat his kidney disease with semintra but I've stopped giving him the special diet as we decided he should enjoy life!

There was blood in his pee last year and yesterday I found it again. This isn't a UTI, the vet says his kidneys are leaking.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 04/08/2017 13:25

I think I'm right in thinking that kidney disease is progressive. There wouldn't be a food or drug that would cure it (no expert)
Have they done bloods recently?

rupertpenryswife · 04/08/2017 13:35

You are clearly a great owner. This is the hard bit of cat ownership, 18 what a great age, talk to your 6 year old about it, I have done with my 2 yes,it's still as sad but it's a real and kind part of life. Good luck with It all and much love to your lovely cat.

Original poster
isadorable · 04/08/2017 13:36

Yes. There's no cure. It is about holding the inevitable at bay. We decided in February to stop with blood tests. His levels of creatine are slightly raised and sometimes get very high indeed. The vet thinks he has learned to live with raised levels so only stops eating in a crisis. I nursed him through a crisis in January and we decided then to stop tests etc. The vet says he isn't suffering, he just feels nausea. I did give him pills for that but eventually stopped when he was eating again.The vet was happy I started moving towards this, even though she is very fond of him.

He's a shadow of his former self. I have been treating him for kidney disease for 10 years. He has been such a good friend. He was always so clean and dignified, not to mention interested in everything going on. I am concerned that I'm just keeping him going when I should let him go.

OP posts:
Original poster
isadorable · 04/08/2017 13:39

Thanks Ruperts, I'm trying to get her to understand that I would be doing it out of love. I have never had to do this before. Had two cats with FIP so there's no decision to make. I want to do this right. He has been so special to me, I want to be kind and do what's right for him.

OP posts:
SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 04/08/2017 13:42

I think it may be time to let him go Sad. We had exactly the same situation with our cat, similar age. Towards the end, she seemed happier in the conservatory, where I could cover the floor, as she also seemed confused about where to find her food too. Maybe encourage your DD to say goodbye to him if you think she would cope? Although my DD was older, we said goodbye to our cat, and said thank you for being 'our' cat and stuff. Sounds soppy, but I think it helped. It was still horrible though. Flowers

Wolfiefan · 04/08/2017 13:47

I only mentioned bloods thinking of thyroid.
The thing is that a cat with nausea or not eating or messing the house is suffering. I always thought of it as preventing pain at the end. Our lovely vet said it was about preserving dignity. At 19 my girl was losing hers. She was no longer enjoying the things that had always made her happy. It was time to let her go.
So hard. Such a difficult decision. It's the last great act of love. We have to love them enough to let them go when we don't want to.
So sorry OP Flowers

Wolfiefan · 04/08/2017 13:48

Sponge I did the same. Thanked her for being our cat and said we loved her. Sad

Original poster
isadorable · 04/08/2017 13:57

Sponge and wolfie thank you! I know its for the best to do it sooner... Once he started messing the house (a couple of weeks ago) I felt that means it is time. He's eating well but he still isn't going to put on weight without rehydration and we've been there many times. I'm sure he's confused too. I will try talking to dd again.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 04/08/2017 14:22

Unfortunately you may have to just tell her it's happening. What I did was warn kids she was very ill and say we were going to the vet. I didn't say she would be PTS. I explained if she wasn't well, couldn't be made better and would suggest then the vet would advise it.
We didn't use the word PTS either. I said she died.
It's hard but you're the adult and have to put the cat's welfare first.
I am a soppy sod but I find the idea in this poem helpful.

Time to say goodbye?
Original poster
isadorable · 04/08/2017 14:35

Thank you. I appreciate it. I'm trying to handle dd better than I was treated by my parents in these circumstances long ago though I know there's no perfect way to do it. I've been trying to warn her and make her understand he's very old and frail. I know I have to put the cat first and she'll bounce back but well, I feel like now's the right moment so that will help I hope. Oh so sad though. I remember him being born.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 04/08/2017 14:38

I think it's blue cross that have some great info on helping kids. Of course you want to avoid upsetting your DD any more than she has to be. I get that.
They all react differently. One of mine wanted photos displayed and walked around holding a cuddly toy that looked like the puss we lost. Cuddles and comfort. It's ok to be sad. It's ok to miss your pet. It's ok to cry. Hold each other tight. Flowers

rupertpenryswife · 04/08/2017 19:58

Good luck it's really tough you clearly don't need advice regarding your lovely boy, kids always make this situation harder and it's a tough life lesson, no easy way just explain the best you can. I feel for you its awful for you but, so hard to see your DD deal with it but, she will, kids bounce back she will feed off of you and how you deal with it.

Original poster
isadorable · 16/08/2017 14:54

So, I just booked the appointment for tomorrow at 6pm. I have to go away for a few days and I don't want to leave him. I'm worried about his confusion. It seems unfair to him. My dd is in France until September. i'd rather she had been part of the decision but I think she's just too young to understand about what's best for the cat.

What decided me was when he came out in the garden with me and i noticed him wobble. I don't want him to lose his dignity and if his legs go or something happens while I'm away... It just seems wrong.

OP posts:
NancyDonahue · 16/08/2017 15:29

Oh you are doing the right thing. The last act of pure love for him. Cats hate to make a mess, ths poor thing can't go on like that. Your dd will obviously be heartbroken, but you can tell her her feelings are strong because she's a wonderful girl who loved her cat so much. He sounds like such a lucky cat to have a loving family. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow op Flowersxx

Original poster
isadorable · 16/08/2017 19:02

Thanks Nancy! My mum, the least animal loving person I know, came and dropped in a very nice bottle of wine for tomorrow, if required.

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Original poster
isadorable · 18/08/2017 10:35

My vet was lovely. She said she'd expected this moment to come earlier. Basically he had no muscle in his back legs, was carrying himself along through sheer determination. I'm very very sad but it was dignified and peaceful and I know it was the right thing.

OP posts:
TheRattleBag · 18/08/2017 11:00

I'm sure you're heartbroken, but it sounds as though it was the right time. And it's good that he went with dignity. Flowers

Original poster
isadorable · 18/08/2017 11:44

Yes Rattle I am but I'm also sure I did my best for him. Thanks

Time to say goodbye?
OP posts:
Gah81 · 18/08/2017 12:59

What a gorgeous beast. Flowers to you OP.

Vinorosso74 · 18/08/2017 13:10

RIP beautiful boy. 18 is a wonderful age and he was obviously well loved Flowers

Original poster
isadorable · 18/08/2017 14:19

Thank you both. He was indeed beautiful inside and out. Such a lovely gentle friend.

OP posts:
NancyDonahue · 18/08/2017 19:23

Rest in peace gorgeous boy xx

PurpleDragon76 · 18/08/2017 22:39
Flowers

He was beautiful. As sad and heart breaking as it is know that you had the power to end his suffering and to me it sounded like the right time. Hope you aren't alone, my sincere condolences on your loss x

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