Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Rescuing a cat tomorrow, DH now unsure...

64 replies

TotallyTicToe · 21/07/2017 21:17

We have been considering adopting a cat for quite a while now. After a few weeks of discussing it we decided to visit the local rspca today with the dc (dd4 and ds1)

We had a chat with a staff member there who seemed really lovely and knowledgable about which cat would be right for our young family.

There was a two year old tom who was adorable, apparently overlooked because he was just plain black.

His bio said how attention seeking and affectionate he is, loving to play and be fussed all the time.

The meet with him was good, but when dh put him back in the pod he turned round and 'bit' him. He then did this to the staff member. It looked like a play bite, didn't break the skin etc. The staff member said he was probably frustrated at going back in and doesn't like you to stop fussing him.

We passed our home visit tonight and we are due to pick him up at 11am tomorrow.

Dh is worried that if he does this again it might scare the dc, especially the little one. The lady doing the home visit mentioned he'd batted her hand away when he'd had enough too.

I think it sounds like pretty normal cat behaviour but may have fallen for him a bit so could have rose tinted glasses on Grin

All the staff mentioned how friendly he was and he was marked down as suitable for children of all ages so I'm happy to trust them in this.

What do you all think?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Wolfiefan · 21/07/2017 21:20

One of my girls bites. If she is overstimulated or handled too much. She never breaks the surface of the skin and lets go almost immediately. I also sometimes think she forgets I am not a cat and don't have fur. Grin
Some cats don't like being picked up. When you say tomcat that suggests unneutered male. He isn't is he?

PosiePootlePerkins · 21/07/2017 21:30

Hmmm. We had a bad experience with a rescue cat, were told she was family friendly but sadly she was a biter and not at all suited to our family. Sadly she went missing, and when she was eventually found 6 weeks later she had to go back to the rescue, she just wasn't happy in our home and my DSs couldn't stroke or play with her at all. It was a horrible, upsetting experience. I believe she wandered because she didn't want to be with usSad
We now have two affectionate and gentle cats who have been with us for 6 months, we are so happy with them and them with us. So I have proved to myself that it wasn't us, it was her temperament.
I would be wary of a biter, especially with young children. Maybe put it on hold, visit a few more rescues in your area, see if other cats are available. Sorry to be the voice of caution, but having been there I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone else.
Good luck

Original poster
TotallyTicToe · 21/07/2017 21:30

Oh sorry no I thought that was what you called boy cats Blush he is definitely neutered.

I was hoping it was just because he was there.

OP posts:
Original poster
TotallyTicToe · 21/07/2017 21:31

That's ok PosiePootlePerkins happy to hear all opinions. She is definitely thinking along the same lines as you.

OP posts:
Original poster
TotallyTicToe · 21/07/2017 21:31

DH not 'she'.

OP posts:
PosiePootlePerkins · 21/07/2017 21:32

It is a difficult decision and you want to get it right, there are so many cats needing homes so the right one will be out there for you.

PosiePootlePerkins · 21/07/2017 21:34

Whereabouts are you? The website Catchat has a list of rescues local to you. If you're near the South coast at all I can highly recommend the Chichester Cat and Rabbit Rescue Centre, they were brilliant, really knew the cats, and that's where we found our two.

Manijo · 21/07/2017 21:43

We have 2 rescue cats and they have been absolutely fine with the DC and mine were proper feral street cats. Cats will soon learn to stay away if they do not like being picked up. My two hate being put into the crate when it is vet visit time and get quite stroppy. I would say he probably bit because he did not want to go back in. I would say give it a go...if it fails you can hand him back. Fingers crossed it will work out for you all.

DumbledoresApprentice · 21/07/2017 21:49

Some cats are biters. I've had biters and scratchers. Scratchers are definitely far worse. It sounds like relatively normal cat behaviour to me. Many cats, who live happily with families, might give a warning bite to a stranger handling them in a relatively stressful environment (e.g. at the vet). Some cats are unusually docile (I have a very docile cat now) but her temperament is unusual and not like any of the other cats I've ever had. All of the others might have given a bite or scratch in the situation you describe.

user1495915742 · 21/07/2017 21:49

Our rescue cat was a bit of a biter when he first came to us. He had been a bit battered by a toddler I think. He did it to me more then DH when he first came to us.

If you take him, you will need to allocate him somewhere he can escape to (up high and away from little hands). Our cat rarely bites us now. We now know when he is on the edge as he starts to flick his tail. He is slightly bonkers and I think he just gets a bit over stimulated. He's a lovely cat though and I'm really pleased we chose him.

Thurlow · 21/07/2017 21:53

Our rescue girl was a similar biter when we got her. She still 'turns' occasionally if she's overstimulated or just a little uncomfortable. But it's fine, she's a lovely girl. Just make sure you let the kids be gentle with him at first and help them learn the signs of when he's getting a bit excited or stressed.

EpoxyResin · 21/07/2017 21:56

I think you'd be unwise to put it down to the environment. Whilst I've encountered many biters I've never owned one, and all my non-biting cats have never bitten in any circumstances.

It would be acceptable to say a biter - even an occasional play-biter or warning biter - wouldn't be the right cat for your family. It wouldn't be the right cat for MY family, and there are so many wonderful cats out there needing homes, you would do well to wait for the right one. Cats live a long time, and I've seen the guilt people face when they feel they've made the wrong choice...

EpoxyResin · 21/07/2017 21:58

By the way, it would also be fine to say he WAS the right cat for your family too, just don't say that assuming he definitely won't nip you ever.

Want2beme · 21/07/2017 22:01

One of my cats bites but I just accept it cos I can't change it. It would be bad for the cat if you take it home and if things don't work out you take it back.

Melfish · 21/07/2017 22:05

Our ex rescue cat bites DH- but he does put his hands within reach when they are playing. She does 'bat' you but is usually claws in. Sometimes she will scratch but that is only when we're not reading her signals correctly- although she does roll over, waggling her tummy at you, but we know now not to stroke it as it usually means a bat or two!
She also swishes her tail around if you stroke her when she's on your lap. She hasn't scratched DD or her friends yet and is quite patient with them patting and stroking her, walking off if she has enough. If you aren't sure then perhaps visit some other cats first.

NoSquirrels · 21/07/2017 22:13

Our rescue girl is/was a "biter". She'll be purring and very affectionate, seeking the fuss, and then will turn and "bite". No breaking skin, just a shock really! As PPs say, it is over stimulation and a case of learning to read the signs, I think.

That was when we got her a year ago - now she turns her head to your hand if she's getting antsy, so we stop or redirect the fuss. She'll also usually grown first now too! Sometimes if you hold your hand in the same position for her to sniff when she's turned, she'll lick instead. It's as if she reminds herself that she loves us and the fuss really.

Your DC are small, so they need to be closely supervised with him, but I suspect he'll probably be a lovely cat given some space to acclimatise and trust from everyone.

NoSquirrels · 21/07/2017 22:14

grown = growl
She's the first cat I've had who growls! (Never at me, mostly at DH!)

SleepFreeZone · 21/07/2017 22:24

Our best cat ever was a feisty female totally black ex feral cat. She was short haired but fluffy, beautiful face and as light as a feather when you picked her up. She'd tolerate a certain amount of love and then bat you like s crazy thing until you put her down. We adored her, sadly she got run over and we were devastated. Still think of her fondly though 💗

strawberrypenguin · 21/07/2017 22:27

My girl is a great big softy, brilliant with the kids and a lovely girl. She will occasionally 'bite' me. Never breaks the skin and it's not frequent at all but she sometimes has enough for some reason.

Only you can really tell if the cat you saw was a 'proper' biter or not. Not sure if I'd take a cat that but a couple of times in one short meeting though tbh

Veterinari · 21/07/2017 22:27

'Biting' like this is totally normal cat behaviour. However I understand your concerns however regardless of PP opinion, environment could well be contributing to this.

Black cats DO spend longer in rescues Sad He's likely caged and with relatively little stimulation for the majority of his time. The fact that he mouthed your DH en route back to the cage is simply a protest at being returned to a place he doesn't want to go - what was he like when you were actually interacting with him? If he was generally sociable and friendly but just frustrated about being isolated in his cage again then he may we'll be a great friendly family cat.
Give him a chance and be patient, change is unsettling!

EachandEveryone · 22/07/2017 20:28

What happened?

EpoxyResin · 22/07/2017 20:33

I'm interested too. Do you have a cat OP?

NCEndofLifeDilemma · 23/07/2017 00:40

Do update, OP...

Original poster
TotallyTicToe · 23/07/2017 11:13

We do now have him at home and so, so glad we have.

We picked him up at 11am and he settled in straight away. Very relaxed and playful, extremely affectionate and just constantly purring.

He's even been very patient with the children as we sit with them with him, said is getting the hang of 'gentle' Smile

He'a lying on the mat napping now Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
TotallyTicToe · 23/07/2017 11:14

Ds is getting the hang of 'gentle' Grin

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread