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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Awkward situation. Need cat advice

17 replies

Mimipoo · 19/07/2017 13:18

Hi,
This is a difficult situation and I really don't know what to do but need advice from serious cat people and breeders.
My beautiful very loved cat went missing some weeks ago, latest theory (and only information I have got) is she may have been hit by a car and run off. Can't find cat though despite huge physical searches.
We are having to accept she is gone and deal with the grief including that of our children.
Now the awkward bit!
How on earth do I tell the breeder? I feel awful but also guilty as I was meant to keep her safe. Honestly we were very careful she went out to play on a quiet Sunday and just never came home. Rural area so not unreasonable. But I am struggling with the guilt anyway.
Also we are aware the breeder is planning a litter from one of my cats siblings do I dare ask to go on waiting list? She was a lovely breeder home set up and really well cared for loved cats. I would use her again by choice but would she let me have a second kitten???
Please give me advice Sad it's all horrible and I don't want to upset anyone else really.

OP posts:
toosexyforyahshirt · 19/07/2017 13:20

Just tell them, and ask about the waiting list. Any breeder (or anyone) understands that it happens, there is nothing you can do to stop it.

SirVixofVixHall · 19/07/2017 13:23

I hope she does turn up. I imagine you've done Twitter, Facebook, all vets within a certain radius, binmen etc? Reward in paper?
I would call the breeder and explain. Things happen to animals however well looked after they are. If a cat is outdoors then there is a big risk from cars, there isn't any getting round that. The breeder will understand , and then you will have the option of taking on a related kitten. I do really hope you find your cat though. Flowers

Original poster
Mimipoo · 19/07/2017 13:33

Yes we have done everything!

OP posts:
Couchpotato3 · 19/07/2017 13:36

Don't give up hope - cats do sometimes turn up again after many weeks. It happened to a friend of mine whose cat went missing for months. She was very thin and poorly when she eventually came home but made a full recovery.

Did you make any agreement with the breeder about letting the cat outside? I know some are very definite about keeping cats indoors so if that was the case here, be prepared for some harsh words and a 'no' to a request for another kitten. However, if you don't ask you don't get, so maybe it's worth trying.

Otherwise, you could try another breeder, but they do talk to each other, so if your original breeder finds out what happened, you could find yourself 'blacklisted'. I think you are probably best off being honest with her.

(I have three pedigree cats and I let them out, because I think it's cruel not to, they are animals and enjoy the outdoors. They don't wander far, and they are not a particularly attractive or desirable breed, so I think the risk of them being stolen is fairly low. However the breeder I got them from kept all of hers indoors and expected me to do likewise Blush. Expect I'll get flamed, but just saying, I don't think you were wrong to let your cat out).

HotelEuphoria · 19/07/2017 13:43

My cat went missing once for ten days. She was chipped and turned up two miles from home and Several weeks later, she, had found a cat loving home and cried outside their house until they fed her, en took her to he vet where she was scanned and reunited with me. Good luck.

If you do get a new kitty does it have to be a pedigree? Kitten season is in full flow and their are loads on unwanted in the rescue centres and with foster homes.

HotelEuphoria · 19/07/2017 13:44

I meant I gave up after ten days but got her back several weeks later. Doh!

Original poster
Mimipoo · 19/07/2017 13:53

No I was never told I had to keep in and I am an experienced cat owner and in a rural area. Breeder lives in very built up area and actually had one of her pedigree cats sitting outside her house when we arrived (neutered). Last cat I owned had many happy years hunting here.
Do you think email is best for bad news like this? I want to explain without sobbing down phone to her.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mimipoo · 19/07/2017 13:55

I am aware many advice keeping in btw. I personally will never be letting any cat out again after this! Which go's slightly against my beliefs that they deserve the right to be cats and play hunt etc. Sad

OP posts:
toosexyforyahshirt · 19/07/2017 13:57

I don't think you should keep future cats in, it's not fair to them, and they'd rather have a full life with risks than a dull indoor life for longer. Wouldn't you?

cakesandphotos · 19/07/2017 14:02

Our cat went missing when he was about 5 months old, we had only just let them out. I was heartbroken as was his brother. We even started looking into getting another cat as company for our remaining one. 17 days later he was spotted playing on the road (Shock) outside the first school about a mile and a half from home. He was thin, poorly and hungry but he made a full recovery. Sorry, slightly long winded way of saying don't lose hope! They can and do turn up after a few weeks

steppemum · 19/07/2017 14:09

please don't feel you have to keep the next cat in.
You home sounds perfect for cats and accidents can happen anywhere.

I don't think the breeder will have an issue, all cat owners know this happens sometimes

Original poster
Mimipoo · 19/07/2017 14:17

Been brace and sent an email explaining what happened. Now in tears again. I just want my baby back

OP posts:
ElizaDontlittle · 19/07/2017 15:54

Unfortunately, these things happen. I live on a fairly busy road and when I decided to let crazycat out I made a deal with myself that if something happened to her I had made the right decision for her and I would live with it accordingly. It's ok - you've not done the wrong thing.

But why a breeder? I get that you want a kitten but there are still kittens in rescues and lots of young adults and they are desperate for homes. Hope your girl defeats the odds... and if not that your new cat settles well.

Want2beme · 19/07/2017 22:17

Mimipoo how awful for you. I really hope she comes home to you. It's so heartbreaking when they just disappear.

StillMedusa · 21/07/2017 23:00

The love of my life, Morph went missing for SEVEN weeks .
I walked the streets every night, calling, (and crying). He had never gone walk about before.

I kept looking because I just FELT he wasn't dead. Then one day I was at the local garage filling up, and instead of pulling out to the right as usual, I turned left... and 2 seconds later, had to brake hard as a cat ran out of the farmers field and across the road. It was Morph. I left the car in the middle of the road, got out and called his name..and he came running to me. Got him home, sobbing. He was thin, covered in rabbit fleas and didn't seem to be able to see properly. The vet reckoned he had had a blow from a car and sustained head injury and not remembered how to get home. We kept him in for three months . He never got lost again, but he never went far from the garden either.. he had definitely lost a few brain cells !

So don't give up home. Morph had 8 more glorious , much loved years with us before he died :)

Want2beme · 21/07/2017 23:33

StillMedusa that's heartbreaking and uplifting at the same time. What are the chances. Incredible!

Fiona1984 · 22/07/2017 07:27

My cats never wandered far, but sadly my female cat got run over on next door but one's driveway only a few feet away. I had to have her PTS.
It took me a while to have the courage to let my other cat out, and I'm still scared, but he loves to be outside.
We're moving house, and I'll have to keep him in for 2-3 weeks, which could be fun!

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