Cat sitting - AIBU!

[lanouvelleheloise]

I have lovely, lovely neighbours. We get on reaaallly well, and we have a reciprocal cat-care arrangement for holidays.

However, DH and I are away very much more than they are, partly due to work trips. I feel really guilty about this. It's reached a peak this month, when we have a wedding in which we both had huge roles (5 days away), a conference (a week) and a summer holiday (a week). The last was booked last year, before we had dates for the conference, and then the wedding turned up at a late point which is why we have this concertina. The result is we are away nearly as many days as we are here. My lovely neighbours have agreed to cat sit for the lot, but I'm consumed with guilt about this, and for leaving my cat for this long. He is independent and copes well on his own, and DH says I am being irrational - but he is getting older and I feel like a terrible cat "parent" abandoning him for these stretches of time.

Should I cancel the summer holiday and take a financial hit on it? And what on earth can I get my neighbours that is sufficient to say the hugest THANK YOU for all their help and for basically being amazing? I always bring them back presents of about £20 value after each trip but feel they deserve something super-special this time.

Pay someone to come and visit the cat? That's what I do

Your neighbours sound great! I would feel the same as you if I were in this situation but probably wouldn't cancel my holiday. Can you maybe cut the holiday short? If not then I'd still take the trip and maybe send my neighbours on a night night away somewhere and look after their cat in return.

We're kind of similar but in your neighbour's position. This is because we lost our previous cat then had almost a year catless before we got our current cat. During that time the cat sitting was one sided plus last year neighbours went away for ages, we ended up looking after their cat for almost a month solidly.

I really didn't mind at all, I like to get favours 'in the bank' so I don't have to feel guilty about asking for things in return (eg, bin putting out in addition to cat feeding!) I wouldn't really worry about gifts beyond what you usually do, they might feel they need to reciprocate then you get into an escalating gift situation.

Just carry on letting them know they're appreciated. Invite them round for drinks or something if you have that sort of friendship.

Hummm, I don't think I'd cancel the holiday but I would get the neighbours something extra nice ... and also look at getting a paid option as a back up so that you don't need to ask them quite so much: better IMO to keep them sweet than hack them off! I'd also make sure you tell them that you are conscious of how much they are doing and will try not to have such a high call on them in the future. Gift: depends on them but maybe: vouchers for a lovely meal out locally; theatre ticket vouchers; box of really good wine; F & M hamper? I'd budget £100 or so but I have no real idea what cat sitters charge...

profyaffle - thanks that's actually really reassuring. They've repeatedly said that they don't mind. But I feel terrible about asking so much and I feel selfish and worry they will think I'm taking the piss.

I try to take them small, regular gifts as well as cat-sitting gifts. They like fresh food, so if I have things growing in my garden they will enjoy, I take some over.

swallalala - I think cutting the break short might be a good plan!

I'd be feeling the same as you, but your neighbours are probably very happy to care for your Dcat - I would be. Your time will come to reciprocate. You could get them a voucher for a lovely local restaurant & a lovely bunch of flowers. Your puss is happier in his home than he would be going in to cattery, so try not to worry too much about him. I have a very old cat, 20, and there's only one person I'd trust to leave him with if I went away. You need a holiday & a change of scenery is good for you.

Unless there is a thread about a neighbour always on holiday and the op being stuck with a bloody cat then I am sure you are good to go!!

"Your time will come to reciprocate"

I really, really hope so. They are both retiring in a couple of weeks, and I hope they go off on a huge round-the-world trip and have a fabulous time while I look after their mad little cat!! I will feel much less guilty then.

"Unless there is a thread about a neighbour always on holiday"

Oh God, I would just die of shame! I have often wondered how that would feel...

Don't cancel - but do pay for a proper cat and house sitter to come for your holiday and keep the cat company? I use PawShake app and have got a great cat sitter from there.