Help needed for aggressive foster cat.

[SentientCushion]

So I've had a few threads about my foster cat who has just had kittens, we've had her for two weeks and before the kittens were born she was a total dream cat, a little cuddle bug.

Since the kittens have been born however she's turned into a total demon cat. We have been giving her loads of space and just going into her room to feed her and clean up the litter. We have got to the stage where she allows us to put food in her bowl and even comes for a sniff after but if you have to do anything else she attacks you. This has been stressful but manageable but this morning I had to go in with her clean litter and she had just eaten so wasn't interested in food and she went for me really badly, I'm ok but I so disheartened.
I'm doing everything I can think of talking in a low voice, avoiding eye contact, not making any sudden movements and allowing her to set the pace for the interaction so put the litter on the ground so she can see what it is and slowly move it into place. I am also doing breathing techniques to keep my heart rate steady in case she can sense my fear.

She's had a shit life, she was taken from an alcoholics home and was skin and bone even though she was pregnant. She deserves all the patience in the world and that's what she's been getting but we also have to think of the kittens and we haven't been able to check on them because she's hidden them and attacks us if we go near them.

I'm starting to get worried that we won't be able to socialise them and they'll end up feral. Also I just want to be able to rehome her to a lovely home she deserves but I can't see how anyone would be able to have her in this state.

Does anyone have any tips for calming an aggressive cat or maybe just a story about a difficult foster that calmed down and got a nice home??

I don't have any advice unfortunately but there is a brilliant group on Facebook called "Orphan Kitten Bottle Feeders and Fosters". The collective knowledge of the group is astounding, and while many are rearing orphans they usually started fostering mums with litters, or are fostering multiple litters (with mums).

She's a new Mum and any intrusion is a threat to her kittens. It sounds like she's never really been socialised and isn't confident enough with you now that she has her kittens to look after, to do anything else. The most domesticated mother cat can easily get ferocious if she thinks her kittens are threatened. The only thing I'd suggest, if you have the time, is to sit on the floor in her room, giving her space, and read a book out loud, looking up at her without making too much eye contact, as if you're having a conversation with her. I did this on the advice of a vet when fostering a semi-feral cat, and it did help calm the cat. Voice is so important with animals, it's not just horses.

Smiling at Mama Cat showing your teeth, and giving her long slow blinks occasionally also say that you're not a threat to her. My badass bully cat does this when he snuggles up on my chest, purring like crazy.

Otherwise I don't think you can do anything different to what you're doing, just see that she's well fed so she can feed her kittens, and keep the litter area clean.

Kittens usually start exploring at about three weeks when their eyes are fully open, so you could be getting your first contact with them then.

Is she in pain? In humans pain is a cause of aggression.

Thanks tabby the reading idea is really good. I've been slow blinking at her lots and being careful not to show my teeth. I'm sure she'll settle down eventually and I know it's just because she's a good mum who loves her babies but I feel so responsible for her so want to make sure I'm doing everything I can.

Oh wait are you saying I should show my teeth?? I always thought you shouldn't! X

I was wondering if sitting on the floor in her room would help. She might come over to you when she feels less anxious.

We've been doing that when she's been less grumpy but she seems to be getting worse and won't let us sit down now either.
I think I'm just going to have to ride it out. Do the bare essentials and try not to just trust that it'll get better.

Both my cats open their mouths slightly when they're snuggled up to me, and look up at me with their top lip drawn back a little, showing their teeth. At the same time their eyes are almost closed, and they're purring their heads off. So I tried the same with them, and it does seem to communicate something. The slow blinks are more obvious, though.

If you're sitting on the floor Mama Cat hopefully will develop enough confidence to at least come and sniff at you. Poor thing, good for you for caring for her. Does she have a name? Mama Cat was the name of the mother of two tabby kittens I adopted in 1983.

Ironically she's called Sweetpea.

Tonight was a bit better, it started the same with her being very hissy and she bolted out the door of the bedroom so Dh simply shut the door after her and went to check on the kittens, they were all totally fine thank god and he rearranged her nest so it was a bit more stable and so we could see the kittens.
She came back in and swiped at him but was more concerned about her babies than us. She went and checked they were all there went and ate her dinner and then had a feed which she let us stay for.

A little bit of improvement. That's good. Being assertive might be the way forward. It does seem like she's starting to trust you again. Honestly, you have to have the patience a proverbial saint with cats.

She's a very dedicated mummy, that's for sure.