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Original poster

Guilt over cat abortion

124 replies

Kittyguilt · 12/04/2017 22:15

I seem to have adopted a cat from a friend of a friend Hmm

I thought she might be pregnant when I got her two weeks ago, looking at her today she is clearly pregnant. I phoned the vets today to discuss spaying her and obviously aborting the kittens.

It was all very rushed and they said they had an appt tomorrow morning I could have to spay her. I booked it but now I'm feeling terribly guilty about aborting the kittens Sad

I can't feel movement in her stomach but she's quite big and very pink nipples. The vet is going to examine her before the spay and decide if she needs a c-section depending on how far along she is.

Am I doing the right thing? I'm half thinking if she is quite far along then cancelling the spay and having the kittens although I can't keep them all. What would you do?

OP posts:
alltouchedout · 13/04/2017 18:17

You did the right thing OP.

Wolfiefan · 13/04/2017 18:21

I'm so sorry OP. What a trauma but I'm glad she's ok.
It will soon be kitten season and rescues will be inundated. Cats can live for over 20 years so for each kitten you need to find a person or family who can commit to that. After the sad thread the other day where an owner was saying they couldn't afford to treat a possible fracture and may have to PTS? I would really worry about finding such homes.
Hope puss recovers well.

shesnotme · 13/04/2017 18:27

No idea if it was the right thing to do or not but well done for making the tough descion. There are so many cats needing homes.☹️

Oliversmumsarmy · 13/04/2017 18:45

We had similar situation. We kept all the kittens.

Frazzled2207 · 13/04/2017 18:46

Well done for making the right decision, IMO. A very tough call though.

Original poster
Kittyguilt · 13/04/2017 21:55

Kitty is up and about although quite slow. She wolfed down her dinner which the vets gave us, they also gave painkillers but she can't have them until the morning, seems a long time to go with no pain relief.

One thing I hadn't considered was explaining to the kids where the kittens have gone. I kind of brushed it off but DD asked me and I lied and said she wasn't pregnant after all Confused

Anyway I'm going to keep her in my room tonight but she's scratching to get out.

Again thanks for all the advice, I know a few of you didn't want me to do it, but I think I've made the right decision. Especially after the vets said they'd had a load of kittens dumped overnight. I also looked at gumtree and there are so so many cats on there.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 13/04/2017 21:57

I hate to say it OP but for all you know the father could have been a relative. You really don't know that the end result would have been kittens to home. It could have been the loss of mum and kittens. Sad

EmmaC78 · 13/04/2017 22:08

Glad kitty is up and about. I think you made the right decision OP.

NameChange30 · 13/04/2017 22:14

A white lie was probably a good call in the circumstances Flowers

And as a side note I wish gumtree would ban adverts for animals! Angry

Vinorosso74 · 13/04/2017 22:25

Yes I agree Gumtree should ban animal sales/free to good home ads. I had to report a post on Freecycle once where someone "wanted" a cat or small dog.
OP, am sure she'll be better in the morning especially once anaesthetic effects have worn off.

HolyStoneOfClonrichert · 13/04/2017 22:36

Echoing pp definitely the right choice. I also run a large rescue and we have so so many cats needing homes. Sadly demand in this area is not high so many are long term residents. We try as hard as we can to stem the flow if you like as we know many of them will be here for a long time. We always spay as long as the vet deems it safe for the mother. On a positive note I do believe that things are getting better and more and more people neuter and spay.

PencilsInSpace · 15/04/2017 12:27

I had to make the same decision for a cat that adopted us a couple of years ago. It was perhaps an easier decision for us - the cat was less than a year old and in very poor health when she found us, also she was not as far along as yours.

You did the right thing, although I know what a very tough decision it must have been Flowers

Fluffycloudland77 · 15/04/2017 20:08

How is she today?.

BertrandRussell · 15/04/2017 23:04

She's fine. She's a cat.

HomityBabbityPie · 16/04/2017 00:16

Not sure fluffy was asking you bertrand.

Checklist · 16/04/2017 08:01

We had our cat spayed, a few days after she mated with her brother. The vet had refused to neuter him when I asked them to, saying I did not want her getting pregnant by her brother! Apparently she was in the early stage of pregnancy. I felt guilty about abortion, even though I knew it was the right thing to do!

You've done the right thing! Too many unwanted cats in this country!

Original poster
Kittyguilt · 16/04/2017 13:14

She's currently curled up asleep on the radiator. She's being very very affectionate at the moment. Wound is lovely and dry. I'm relieved I had it done.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 16/04/2017 13:15

I'm glad she's recovering well OP. I think you did the right thing. Flowers
(We need a Dreamies pic too. Come on. We have gin!)

TheLongRider · 16/04/2017 21:51

I know people say don't anthropomorphise cats but our cat seemed very relieved not to be pregnant anymore. She was chasing her tail a couple of weeks after the operation and really became a pet.

MummySeymour · 18/05/2019 10:45

Hello KittyGuilt. I totally know how you are feeling. We had come across this situation today although I guess partially our fault. We had got a girl cat last year and intended to get her spayed. Then we bought a house, got pregnant ourselves and due in the next few weeks. We just totally forgot to have her spayed. We have 2 boy cats already. Earlier this week I picked her up and she’s very cuddly. Noticed her nipple were big - and pink. Automatically thought fuck! Any other time I wouldn’t have considered aborting her babies. I don’t believe in abortions but this was something we felt was best for us all. She was due around the same time I was. I have a high risk pregnancy and currently don’t know how the baby is getting here. Baby has to come naturally before 39 weeks or another caesarean will be performed and if my results continue to not be good they’ll give me a caesarean at 38 weeks. She is young (2 years old) and was advised by the VET that there’s a possible chance she’ll need a caesarean or assisted delivery but most cats just get on with it and have no problems. My worry was that if she laboured when we was not here and struggled and something horrible would happen to her or the babies I’d never forgive myself for putting her through the pregnancy. We was also told that she needed a quiet non stressful life for those few weeks which she won’t get here. We already have a 3 year old; a birthday party and a newborn arriving in those weeks. We also thought if i have a caesarean I won’t be able to care for her easily and would rely on my daughter to help and she’s not the quietest of people. She’d want to touch the kittens and she’d be lively. I was also advised that being pregnant or having a newborn I wouldn't be able to touch the kittens don’t know why though, was too busy crying at the thought of terminating her pregnancy 😿 I have done nothing but feel bad and I don’t know if it’s because I’m pregnant too that makes it worse. I wanted her kittens, but felt she wasn’t going to get the care and attention she needed. I came home that day after the procedure and cried. It was such a horrible feeling and didn’t feel any kind of relief. I just can’t help but feel she’s sad because her babies are gone. I know I shouldn’t feel bad because they kill human babies much further along than cats but I still feel bad probably more so because it wasn’t a choice she made. Silly I know! She’s just a cat but she’s my baby and I feel so bad for her. Can’t begin to imagine having your babies ripped from inside you and taken away. She’s coping well I think. She’s cuddling us which makes it all so much worse because we are the people who did this to her. Didn’t ever think I’d be in this situation and can’t help but feel this was the easy way. We did however consider having family have her whilst she gave birth in a quiet place but the vet said removing her from her home could cause stress and she’d either kill her kittens or reject them. We already had one cat that was rejected by its mum so know it would be harder work to bottle wean them with a busy life ontop so didn’t want to risk that happening. Let’s hope she’ll be distracted with a newborn in the house than to think about her own babies. Anyways, wanted to share my experience and let you know you aren’t alone. #feelingliketheworstpersonever

thecatneuterer · 18/05/2019 11:20

MummySeymour. You are being ridiculous and are massively projecting. The cat isn't aware of 'her babies being ripped out of her'. All she knows is she went to sleep and then she woke up. That's it. She won't be experiencing any angst whatsoever - this is entirely in your imagination. You were irresponsible by not getting her spayed, but you've put it right so that's fine. And that's all there is to it. Now, seriously, get a grip.

Cerseilannisterinthesnow · 18/05/2019 15:40

OP you did the right thing, far too many cats and irresponsible owners around as it is

chemenger · 18/05/2019 16:55

Totally the right thing to do, please don't feel guilty.

Fluffycloudland77 · 18/05/2019 20:21

Zombie thread.

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