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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Anxious cat hates us :(

7 replies

milkmilklemonade12 · 27/03/2017 23:50

Hi all, about 18 months ago we regimes 2 cats, then aged 8 and 9. They are a mother and daughter pair.

The mother is gorgeous. Loving, playful and happy cat who we love and she loves us. She and I have such a bond. Sometimes I watch those get programmes about vets where the cats die, and just thinking about her dying makes me feel sick I love her so much.

Her daughter however, whilst sweet is a different case. She seems to hate us all, and has severe anxiety. It's to the point where she barely comes home at all, and when she does, she yowls with a deep, throaty cry until she goes back out. She won't stand to be touched, much less picked up.

I've tried feliway plug ins and sprays to no avail. The only thing that sometimes seems to work and chill her out; is catnip. Obviously I try to not use it too much because they can build a tolerance, but sometimes when the yowling is too much I give her some.

I should mention there isn't anything medically wrong with her other than this anxiety. She often overgrooms, and at the moment her poor little tail has a bald patch on it.

I just want her to be happy. With this in mind; do you think the get would prescribe her an anti anxiety medication? Or maybe something for depression? I've never seen the like in a cat before, she behaves as if we are a huge threat to her, even though we all make a huge effort to be quiet and calm around her. I've even stopped my son from reading (aloud, for reading practice) when she's in the same room because she just screams and yowls because even that is too noisy. We really have tried everything. Does anyone have any advice? We're going to the vet with them both next week for their yearly jabs.

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 28/03/2017 00:09

My guess would be that it's not you all - the humans - that she has a problem with but your other cat. Are they the only two pets? And are they both neutered?

milkmilklemonade12 · 28/03/2017 08:16

Yes they are the only two animals in the house, and they are both neutered.

I've never really thought it could be a problem with the other cat as it is her mum?

I feel like rehoming her would be condemning her to be quite honest; when we found them at the shelter, they'd been there over 9 months Sad no one would adopt her now and I couldn't put her through that. Do you think the vet could prescribe anything?

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 28/03/2017 09:58

You could try some zykelene. It's available from pet shops. Or have you tried a pet remedy diffuser? Some people have found it much more effective than feliway.

Trustyourself2 · 28/03/2017 10:40

It's such a shame when they're so nervous. I don't know what the answer is, but I'm going to give the pet diffuser a try. I've tried felliway but it didn't work. My 5 year old cat is afraid of so many things. She does have a quiet confidence about her, but the slightest thing spooks her. She's been with me since she was 4 weeks old - found her in the middle of the road, and all of the vets she's been to have said that her behaviour won't change.

iloveeverykindofcat · 28/03/2017 11:33

Feliway does wonders for my nervous girl

cozietoesie · 28/03/2017 14:09

Cats are odd creatures. They can suddenly - and generally for no apparent reason - 'take against' another cat.

What were they like together in their previous home?

RubbishMantra · 28/03/2017 19:38

When you see your vet ask them about prescribing anti depressants/anxiety meds for her.

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