Am I just a terrible cat owner?

[FromthePinkGlitterySide]

Sorry, I really just need to get this out. I'm a grown bloody woman sobbing over a cat and I feel like I need to get a grip. My lovely cat Nigel has been missing since Monday. I'm assuming he's been hit by a car or similar. I've been out looking for him lots but no sign.
I suppose the reason I'm posting is that two of my previous cats have also been killed, Lola aged 2 and Tiger aged 3. Nigel was about 2 also.
I feel so guilty, like I should have been able to stop it happening, they have all liked to be out and about and I felt like it would be cruel to make them be house cats when they wanted to go out but maybe I should have kept them in.
Am I a terrible cat owner? I'm just so heartbroken. Is this my fault?

Of course it's not your fault and it's not too late for your cat to come home. Poor you to have lost your lovely cats. Cats do want to go outside and you've only done what every other owner does.
I have an indoor cat now as I can't bear the worry when they disappear for days. So far he's not pestered to go out...
I hope your boy comes home safe X

Thank you. I'm just having a self pity fest today. I will pull myself together

If you've had three cats die on the road now you either need to stop buying cats, or stop letting them roam.

Wow. Ok, I suppose that's what I was asking. This has been in two different houses and a few years apart.
Do other people keep their cats in against their will then? That's feels unfair to me but I also want to keep them safe. I don't know what's best.

I haven't had a cat that's been run over, but if it was a recurring issue then yes I would keep them in, or at least keep them in my own garden (or more likely not get cats if I was on a busy road).

Both places we have lived are very rural. Miles of fields but as they are both pubs there is a fairly busy road we are on. Two of them were rescue cats and the rescue places were perfectly happy with where we live.
I love having the cats around but I don't think I can cope with anymore loss, so I have to resign myself to just having our timid little girl cat who doesn't like outside.

I'm sorry to hear about your cat and of course you aren't a terrible cat owner - I would find it v hard to keep mine in - and she would be miserable! However if this keeps happening and you do want a cat you could consider adopting a cat with fiv(feline hiv)? They CANNOT ever be allowed outside for obvious reasons so you have no choice! Follow your local cats protection Facebook page if you're interested - they often have cats up for adoption !

That's a fab idea Bronte but we have another cat so I don't think it would be possible. I will keep that in mind if we are ever without a cat.

How old were your cats when you got them? I wonder if teaching your cats how to gradually roam from when they're really young might work. I've never had a cat run over (though I did have one go missing for 4 months!) but we live in a small town so they're used to dealing with roads

Any news of Nigel?