Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Need help with nightmare cat

55 replies

MrsGradyOldLady · 05/01/2016 09:06

I've posted before about my cat buy nothing has changed at all.

We adopted him 2 years ago. He was 3/4 years old un nuteured Tom found living rough. A local cat charity took him in and castrated him and then we adopted him.

He has absolutely destroyed a sofa, 2 leather chairs and a carpet with his scratching. He will not use any type of scratching post or pad. He sprays frequently. Sometimes in front of me and even pissed in the toaster.

The main problem though is his agression. He frequently attacks my 15 year old Tom. I keep them mostly seperate but we have kids so it's impossible to keep them totally seperate all the time. He attacks alk the neighbourhood cats too. I've had my next door neighbour round in tears as he's constantly attacking one of her cats. If I try and keep him in he gets aggressive with me and the kids and scratches the door so hard it sounds like he's kicking it in. And then he'll pounce on the other cat. If I'm late feeding him he does the same. Or he'll go up to the chair and start scratching it.

I've tried felliway but it only worked for a day or two. He's been to the vet but he attacked her too. The vet thinks he's just a nasty cat and a killer. She thinks he was castrated too late and lived rough too long to be a family cat.

I do have a friend with a small holding who could take him but that would be a last resort. Two of the three kids do like him despite him also scratching and biting them. My husband strongly feels he should be rehomed but I'd rather try and tame him if at all possible.

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 07/01/2016 09:55

Well Yes - two years. And your other old boy and the rest of the family are also your concern I think?

I'd maybe hold fire on a decision until you can meet up with the smallholding friend.

Dieu · 07/01/2016 09:57

I couldn't keep such a cat. And the feelings of your human family are way more important. This isn't going to end, and I'd find it difficult to live under the pressure of never knowing what's going to happen next, or when the neighbour is going to knock to complain.
Still, I understand that it's hard for you OP, and think you have done your absolute best. It sounds as if you're very fond of him despite everything!
If you're unsure about the smallholding, then maybe look into other options too. He might fare better somewhere else without children or other cats.
Good luck Flowers

Dieu · 07/01/2016 09:58

Oh, and I agree that a trial at the smallholding is a good step forward.

duckfilledfattypuss · 07/01/2016 10:04

Sometimes you have to think about what's right for the whole family though. If you've agreed to cover the vet bills then will smallholding friend tell you if bastardcat has any injuries that need treating?

Honestly, if he's not even got to the purring/headboop stage after two years it's unlikely he'll ever come round. It's rare that I'd advocate PTS or rehoming except as a last resort, but it sounds like nobody in your house (including your poor old tom) is happy.

Niknak1980 · 07/01/2016 16:05

Have you heard of Zylkene? It's supposed to be calming and has some positive reviews on Amazon. Our vet suggested it for one of our very skittish ex feral cats. Worth a try? I bought some just in case when we had some building work done but she hasn't needed any so far so I can't comment on how good they are sorry. Good luck! X

Niknak1980 · 07/01/2016 16:06

Oh and my cats LOVE the cardboard catnip scratch box in pets at home!

Room101isWhereIUsedToLive · 07/01/2016 16:15

Could you talk to your vet about putting your cat on antidepressants?
This isn't very common in the UK but is something they do in the USA.

Original poster
MrsGradyOldLady · 07/01/2016 18:06

If I can't sort him out then yes, sadly I will have to rehome him.

dieu any home would also have to not be near neighbours as he beats their cats up. He did also go into another neighbours house through the cat flap, beat the shit out of her cat AND tiny dog and ate their food too. Fortunately, that neighbour was very chilled about it and as my daughter was in their house at the time we thought he'd probably gone in to keep an eye on my daughter. Which is quite sweet in a way.

duck I do know what you're saying and no he's not happy as such. But he's not showing any obvious signs of stress like the old cat did. I agree this can't go on long term though.

niknak someone up thread mentioned zylkene and I'm certainly open to the idea. My concern would be that if I put him on it long term I'd feel like I was almost giving him a lobotomy. I will discuss it with my vet though - she's a great vet, the best I've known so I'd trust her judgement.

I have already got one of those cardboard scratch things from pets at home. He likes it very much but won't scratch it. It's shaped like a house and he likes to hide in it and then leap out and attack unsuspecting passersby.

room101 I will ask about the ad's too.

My first option would definitely be for him to be happy here. I can cope with the scratching and the weeing although obviously I'm not thrilled about it. It's the aggression that's the main problem.

OP posts:
PolterGoose · 07/01/2016 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Niknak1980 · 07/01/2016 19:47

I think mine are too old and fat to use the Pets at home scratch house for anything other than snoozing, I never thought that it could be used for stealthy reasons til now Shockhe does sound like he's worth the effort if you can just find a way of calming him down a bit. I'm pretty sure that the Zylkene was described as "cat Valium" by my vet but it doesn't make them spaced out or groggy. I think it's made of milk proteins X

Original poster
MrsGradyOldLady · 07/01/2016 21:09

That's what I think polter. He could easily find food and shelter and live rough if he wanted to.

I did choose him too. We originally went to the cat place for a kitten and I just didn't feel anything for them. There were about 20 adult cats too but he was the only one i was interested in and I was pretty insistent that he was definitely the one I wanted. I remember them trying to push me towards a bengalese and me saying absolutely not, as I didn't want a vicious unaffectionate cat - oh the irony!

I will take him to the vets on Monday as I'm working from home that day. It may work. When we first got the felliway he was lovely for about 2 days and I really thought he was "cured" but sadly it didn't last. He was still scratching but he was quite chilled and even let me sit next to him and stroke his head. I picked him up and put him on my knee and he immediately got off BUT he didn't bite me. I was absolutely gutted when it stopped working.

I tried catnip too but he's not bothered for it which is a shame.

OP posts:
Dieu · 07/01/2016 22:50

God forgive me Mrs, but your comment to me didn't half make me chuckle! He sounds like a real life Scarface Claw!

Original poster
MrsGradyOldLady · 08/01/2016 23:02

To be honest he does make me laugh too - twisted as I am!

I'm really grateful for the advice - especially about the drugs. I've got an appointment with the vet on Monday but the way I feel at the moment is that he's going nowhere. I was having a rant when I first posted but looking at it objectively me and the girls want him to stay. My son will go either way. The old cat is happly now they're mostly seperated - coat grown back, cystitis gone. Neighbours are a slight problem - granted - and I'll have to have a think about that. Husband also a problem but I'm less fond of him than the cat anyway.

And just look at the handsome bugger. This is a particularly good photo as you can only see the big scab over his right eye if you expand the image.

Need help with nightmare cat
OP posts:
cozietoesie · 08/01/2016 23:07

He certainly is appealing. Smile

Original poster
MrsGradyOldLady · 08/01/2016 23:13

He is isn't he? I do quite like him.

Plan is - sort cat out and live happily ever after. Or alternatively divorce husband and live with mental cat.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsGradyOldLady · 09/01/2016 00:00

And thank you to for the zylkene recommendations I went on amazon yesterday and the reviews sounded promising so I've ordered 100 tablets. By the time they come I will have seen the vet so maybe I'll give him those or maybe the vet will recommend something stronger. I'll try anything to be honest!

OP posts:
Niknak1980 · 09/01/2016 05:25

He's very cute! Black and white cats are always naughty Smile Have you seen "my cat from hell" on sky? Some really crazy cats on there that end up being sorted out and become lots more relaxed. There's some ridiculous suggestions sometimes like walking your cat with a harness Confused but it's good fun to watch! I hope you get something sorted for him xx

sashh · 09/01/2016 10:13

One last thing to try is to set up 'walk ways' so that your cats can cross each other's territory without upsetting the other.

Basically you need to have enough room for 2 cats to walk but be away from each other, so book cases or shelves, or radiator covers so one gets to walk on the floor and the other gets to walk in the 'air', you know when you see cats doing the uppydowny walk on fences? They are crossing territory.

Original poster
MrsGradyOldLady · 09/01/2016 16:14

That's a really good idea sash. The only place they come across each other us the kitchen. We spend a lot if time in there so the other older cat comes in too. I had noticed that he jumped onto either the sofa or the chairs whenever the aggressive cat was there so that explains why!

There is mostly somewhere for him to immediately jump to. The only place he can't is by the door so if I put a radiator cover there it would be perfect. We're having the kitchen decorated soon so I'll get one put in. Thanks for that!

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsGradyOldLady · 09/01/2016 16:44

And my husband's relented and agreed to give the drugs a try. I think he cares about him deep down - he's a vegetarian Smile

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 09/01/2016 16:52

If he was mine, I would much rather he lived a feral cats life on the small holding than a drugged life in my house. And I would also be worried that the drugs might make him more unpredictable and you less vigilant. Cats can do a hell of a lot of damage to a human.........

Original poster
MrsGradyOldLady · 09/01/2016 16:59

Yes I was a bit concerned about drugging him but the zylkene is apparently just a milk protein and homeopathic. I'm not going to give it him without speaking to the vet. The reviews on amazon sounded quite positive though - quite a few people said they'd also tried felliway and it hadn't worked for them either. I think it was the reference to "kitty valium" that made me think he'd end up being a bit spaced out but I don't think it's like that.

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 09/01/2016 17:08

Our bengal was off his furry little face on it.

RedRosie · 09/01/2016 17:35

You sound very kind OP. Many years ago, I had a cat like this (and I loved him very much) who had previously been a stray. He did settle with age ... But was never a real house cat and it wouldn't have worked with other cats and DCs. I'm sure you will do the right thing, which for this one might be the small holding.

Good luck. He looks like a (lovely) bruiser.

Archfarchnad · 09/01/2016 19:03

You know, I would recommend watching a bunch of episodes of 'my cat from hell', which was mentioned above. The same strategies come up time and again for aggressive cats:

  • Play with them every day (dangly feather toys etc) and get them absolutely tired out each time - very frenetic exercise for 10 or 15 minutes.
  • Set up the 'cat super-highway' around the walls of your house (shelves attached to the wall etc) so the cats can avoid each other without feeling threatened.
  • Get the cats used to each other without feeling threatened by feeding them on either side of a screen, so they can smell each other but not see each other.

Maybe you can try one of these in combination with the Zylkene.

There was one episode which dealt specifically with a cat that had been adopted as a complete feral, and who was clearly terrified of humans, and they managed to get him sitting on a lap by the end of a show. I can't remember which one it was though. Obviously the shows are entertainment first and foremost and can be simplistic at times, but it might be worth watching a few.