Struggling to bond with a new kitten...

[catbasilio]

Got a lovely kitten (our first one) over a week ago, all good apart from 2 things: 1) After experiencing how cat poop and pee smells, I smell the everywhere, all the time, the smell is lingering in my nose even after I have left the house. It is paranoid, but I do not know how to stop it 2) I struggle to bond with it. It is lovely and good natured, but it feels like it is invading my space. Maybe I am too tired after work, but I just want to relax and close my eyes, and get on with my things, and not to pet my kitten.

We treat the kitten well. One of my DC is happy, the other is quite indifferent. The kitten gets lots of attention. I do not want to give up, but I am guilty of feeling nothing for the kitten.

How to bond? (and how to overcome this mental smell of cats poop?)

What sort of litter are you using?

It could be that different ones are more absorbent and can mask the smell more. Using a new litter might even give a placebo effect and perhaps stop you smelling it as much.

Kittens are tricky little buggers. One of mine is massively affectionate, the other not so obviously. It's hard not to personify them and think that you have done something wrong when actually they are just being cats.

Hopefully in time the kitten can become your refuge rather than the focal point if something isn't quite right.

Cats Best Oko plus flushable litter.

Different food could help too - what you feed him will be important to smells... Move the litter tray somewhere else maybe and yes scoop it more...

i am sorry to hear that you have a lot of distress. I am very down at the moment so I identify with a lot of what you're saying but curled up next to me is my 16 year-old cat. My bedroom smells of cat food cos I'm trying to tempt him with a half a sachet. He is a distraction for me from other things but i've had him since he was born. He is so infuriating at times but he is family.

Your kitten looks beautiful, I'm sure he'll steal your heart in time but please don't resent him. Give him time and confidence to come into his own...

We had cats when I was growing up, so when DH and I got our first cat after being married for 5 years, I was surprised I uttered the words 'I'll never be clean again!'

Fast forward 3 cats later and I am just watching our new rescue cat snoozing in his bed. I totally get the smelling of cat tray bit as I'm a bit house proud. I also get bouts of being down too.

I think it's early days for you and your new kitten. As the years passed with our last two cats, you get moments with them that you remember with great fondness. I still think I am going to see my large ginger boy plod nonchalantly along the path in the garden.

We've had our rescue cat 3 weeks now and are gradually getting used to his crazy routines. I'm starting to bond now. It's a bit like having a house guest at first but I'm getting used to his habits.

Just take it day by day. You've started playing with him and gradually that relationship will build. Ps. don't leave the feeling down bit unchecked. Look after yourself.

It sounds like you were expecting a different immediate relationship with your new pet.
If you are suffering from depression then do seek help.
Share names? MN can help with suggestions you might like?!
You can get stuff to sprinkle on litter to control smell. I clean my utter tray out totally every week with Milton and boiling water.
Neutralising solid air freshener?

the type of litter isn't always necessarily the issue, we have 2 cats, 2 trays, use £1.55 tesco value cat litter but no smells.
The full litter is replaced on a morning before work and at about 6pm when we get home, people have commented there are no smells in the house.
The trays are scrubbed every 3rd day using an outdoor brush, outside tap and a splash of zoflora.
One of our cats doesn't seem to like me very much, until its food time, then she's my best friend.
If you've not had cats before they can take some getting used to, the realisation that they have personalities and aren't just cuddly toys is a tough one for some people.

Where do you live, I will come and get him . Seriously give yourself a little bit of time, they are kittens for such a short amount of time. My 3 hardly want to know me sometimes, but I adore them and long for another 3 one. When I was pregnant with my youngest I could constantly smell cat litter, everywhere!

I really think you should make an appointment with your GP about depression. You sound very detached and if you feel depression is likely, it's worth checking out.

I hope you find comfort and peace soon x

Hi there. I think how you are feeling is quite normal, try googling 'buyers remorse'. It can be that you have so much going on in your life, that this little kitten is just another thing to worry about. It's a big change to the dynamics of your family, but it does go away and pretty soon you will be wondering what all the fuss was about!
We rescued a 1 year old black and white cat a few months ago and I felt just like this, but now I love her to bits and am happily choosing Christmas presents for her (not forgetting her advent calendar)
I hope this helps

He would suit a cloud name - Cirrus or Nimbus?

He looks rather lovely, but I agree that cat litter can stink. I've found the cheaper sorts better than all-singing eco-friendly Oko.

Our newish kitten doesn't do laps, or purring, or indeed mewing. She just appears underfoot or by your shoulder. She originally had a nice fluffy kitteny name but seems to be known mostly as Stealth Kitty or 'Aargh'.

I think OP you are experiencing normal feelings. When a woman has a new baby, it's normal to have doubts and fears. Why would it be different for a new pet?

But I find this board has an aggressive undertone. No matter what you post, however innocent, there will be a poster who wants to imply you are some cat hating failure.

I got a new kitten recently, and whilst I bonded immediately, with three kids as well there were moments of 'gosh what have I done!' But as I said, I also felt that with each of my human babies too.

Kittens are gorgeous but yes intense at times. It will get easier. In the meantime as long as you feed him well and keep his litter tray clean and pet him now and then, he will be fine. A name will come.

Will he be allowed outdoors? My girl is six months now, neutered and using the cat flap. It's so much easier because she goes to the toilet outside and has taken to sleeping on my lap more because she's tired. I find this, and her purring, lovely and comforting. It's actually peaceful once the kids are in bed!