Evil Cat made a liar out of me.

[BrianCoxReborn]

I've 2 cats.

Evil Cat: main hobbies are planning world domination, stealing half plucked wood pigeons from the local Sparrowhawk, chasing innocent (and bemused) dogs and pretending to be friendly before attempting to gauge my hand and bite me to death. Also has a penchant for 'knocking' on the wardrobe door to wake me up when she fancies a 5am snack.

Then there's Ginger Boy. He's ever so stupid but incredibly handsome and very friendly.

Take them for their yearly injections today and I pre-warn the incredibly handsome young vet that Evil Cat is, in fact, not to be trusted.

She then proceeds to flaunt her furry backside around, behave impeccably and even EVEN let me stroke her and hold her while she had her injection.

WTF is that all about???

She has form. She's long haired and I take her to be groomed once a year (I can manage it mostly but in winter it gets matted), again I pre-warn them. The first time I took her, I did the spiel "she can be friendly but she is very vicious too" I go to collect her, worried about what I'm walking into (blood spurts up the wall, Dexter doing the blood spatter analysis) and am told she's one of the friendliest cats they've ever met, how lovely she is and she's a joy to groom

Why is she such a hellbitch with me??*

I'm so lovely to her.

*unless I'm ill or pregnant - then she loves me and is my shadow.

She's gas lighting you.

Oh gawd. I'm going to have to LTC aren't I!?

She'll get everything. The house. The 4 (oh yes 4!!!) cat beds, the cat scratch/sit/play-thing, the double bed (I ain't moving her off my bed, she growls - proper growls)

I imagine I'll be allowed to have the kids and the dog, possibly Ginger Boy if she's particularly annoyed with his constant desire to love her.

Evil Cat sounds Normal Cat to me.

DCat here sounds like your Ginger Boy though. Utterly beautiful but utterly stupid. Not particularly friendly though

I volunteer sporadically in rescue centres. I meet the most gorgeous, friendly, cuddly, cats. Only occasionally have I met pure evil (akin to my EC) I thought "normal" was high and mighty, aloof and slightly sneering at us mere humans

Ah, sorry no, you're mistaken.

Normal = high & mighty, aloof, slightly sneering at all other creatures, and a bit evil.

Couldn't live without the little buggers though.

Ah! You are like Yoda, but for clueless cat owners

im sorry about this my cat has a problem of projectile pooing. he is extremely sweet but every time he sees my dog he turns into an evil master mind trying to poo on all my furniture!! pls help i think my cat has some sort of problem and our house smells terrible!!! thanks xxx

Hi funml,

If you start.your own thread in the Litter Tray topic more people will see it and help out.

The only people who'll see this are the one's already on it or fellow owners of Evil Cats who are having a nosy

Your evil cat is my evilgingercat. Though he cheerily bites jehovahs witnesses and other passing people silly enough to stroke him - he likes to roll around on the path revealing his lovely fluffy tummy. He luffs the vet though on his many trips to have abscesses dealt with after fighting.

We have three cats, and it is psycotic tabby that you don't get to pick up. Ever. She amuses herself by scaring people in the woods witless by running up trees and appearing suddenly at head height

Stuff a cushion up your jumper. That'll bring her round.

That's perfectly normal cat behaviour.

She's been lovely since the trip to the vets.....it'd disconcerting!

CMOT, I have a friend who lived near a tourist attraction on the Isle of Mann. She had the biggest, fluffiest bastardcat. He would lie outside their gate and roll seductively onto his back, enticing the innocent tourists to rub his belly. Any who dared were swiftly attacked, growled and hissed at. He would watch as they scuttled away, before resuming his position and waiting for his next victim

That is soooo evilgingercat. He would love to live somewhere with more pedestrian traffic to amuse him, but as we live in a very small town, on a quiet estate, he is reduced to doing things like lying in the middle of the road waiting for cars to go round him, and strolling up to dogs so he can attach himself to their heads via his claws.

Haha! Yup that's my EC! She lies in the road or on the pavement and waits.

Our evil cat turns into a quivering wreck at the vets, trying to crawl up my top and snuggling up against me. At home he reverts to sitting in door ways and jabbing me with his claws when I climb over him or wrapping his paws round my ankle to stop me leaving/trip me up/kill me.

Soppy cat is adorable, so sweet and affectionate. With me anyway. And teen. She dislikes dp, dd 2 and evil cat. Today I held her while dp put her flea treatment on. No fuss, just sat there and when it was finished she looked up at dp, hissed at him and then stalked off rather haughtily. Tonight there's been a scuffle between both cats but when one is behinds the curtain the other sits on the sofa and they beat each other up through the curtain. It's absolutely hilarious!!

Mine do that too, coffee! My beautiful curtains are the innocent victims to many a cat spat!

:) ah yes, BrianCoxReborn, alas, cat bellies are only ever proffered for admiration by the 'stoopid hoomins' they are not for touching.

Painful lesson i've learnt after much t'internet research following puzzlement of seductively proffered undercarriages

Here is an article from my favourite cat blog as proof:

www.wayofcats.com/blog/cat-affection-move-the-belly/251

Have you seen ? It mentions the tummy stroking protocol about 1 minute in.

Essential watching.