My cats are driving me mad!

[Greyhorses]

Has anyone got any tips before I commit murder

I have 3 cats, they were DPs before we got together, I have 2 dogs if that's relevant.
The cats are house cats and have never been out, DP refuses to let them out and gets angry if I mention it incase they get killed. Two are roughly 5 years old and the final one is about 2.

Problem is they are always causing trouble. The main issue is the stealing, they will steal any food available. They steal ANYTHING...bread, cake, leftovers. Basically anything, packets are no problem they just rip those open and eat what's inside. All food is now under house arrest and we have to hide food in places the cats can't get too. I have no idea why they do this as they are fed more than enough and all 3 are on the fatter side.
They also will greed while you eat and then run to the sink to lick the plates

I have spent months putting them on the floor but they don't learn and get straight back on the counters repeatedly and its driving me nuts!

Can you train cats or am I fighting a losing battle?

I am desperate to just let them outside but I don't think he will ever forgive me if something happens to them.

They sound bored, eating is something to do.

Do they ever try to go out?.

Yes they do sometimes fluffy if for example I leave a window open or something they will investigate but OH is military about making sure doors and windows are closed at all times so I have never let them out. They have never been out and are all rescue cats that had never been outside.

We live on a busy road and 5 mins from a dual carriageway and his last cat was poisioned somehow so he won't even discuss letting them outside. Our next door neighbor is also an obsessive gardener and won't appreciate cats in his garden if they go over the fence and I don't trust them to stay in our garden obviously. It's a small height fence and small garden so no ability to cat proof the fence or build a cat run (literally only enough space for a table and chairs and a few plant pots!) so there isn't much we can do with regards to letting them out.

They have lots of toys/cat scratch poles for them but to be honest they aren't that bothered! They prefer to ruin the stair carpets.

In all honesty we proberbly have too many cats for the space but they were all acquired and not planned (final one was a foster that they couldn't rehome and stayed!) They are all very chilled and friendly and get on well but the food and bench thing is driving me mad!

I agree with Fluffy, they sound a tad bored and under-stimulated.

You could cat-proof the garden, and let them out.

Also a couple of play sessions a day, with an interactive fishing wand toy, like the Flying Frenzy from Amazon is especially necessary for indoor cats in order to fulfill their hunt, kill drive. Otherwise they sleep too much and overeat as a response to the stress caused by inactivity. Massive part of a cat's brain is specifically geared towards stalking, hunting and dispatching prey, and that needs to be stimulated.

As they're food orientated, you could buy some forage toys for them. You hide their cat biscuits and dreamies in there, and they pat the ball about to get the food out.

Mine steals food given the opportunity. She's an expert in opening biscuit tins and other containers, has in the past been found making off with half a baguette that I left unsupervised in the kitchen and even got caught unwrapping the chocolate Santas one Christmas morning (I don't ever want a repeat of that episode!!)

All food now has to be kept in high cupboards, bread in a bread bin, or shut in rooms with closed doors that are out of bounds. Tupperware or pyrex containers with clip-lock lids are so far still safe from the furry monster.

She does go out, but still needs a lot of stimulation to stop her getting bored when she's inside, so play sessions are essential.

If they've been allowed on the surfaces most of their lives, it'll be tricky to train them to stop, but having food temptingly left out isn't going to help! Noisy rattly things left near the edges that fall (harmlessly) to the floor with a loud sound if the cats knock them when they jump up I'm told can be effective in discouraging such behaviour, but did fail miserably with mine, I'm sorry to say. She knows fine well she's not allowed and jumps down guiltily if I come into the room, but I know she'll be straight on there as soon as I leave if she thinks there might be anything to eat!

Lots of cats eat given the opportunity - it means they're greedy, not bored! You just need to lock cupboards (we blue tack ours shut so we can open them but the cats can't) and make sure leftovers aren't left on the worktops and are put in the oven/fridge etc. instead.

I think people who believe their cats don't jump on surfaces are kidding themselves. Ours know they shouldn't, therefore they just wait until we leave the room before jumping up. When I come home, I always hear a telltale "thud" of a cat jumping down from somewhere it shouldn't be!

Does anyone play with them? Toys are well and good but cats need interaction, especially young ones. Ours have a rubber ball they chase if you just chuck it/roll it down the hallway. Or one of those feathers on a pole you can get them to chase. Ours also love chasing shoelaces under doors and catching shadows/lasers on the wall.

It's perfectly okay for them to be indoor cats but they do need to be well-stimulated at home if that's the case.