Fear

[TapDancingPimp]

This is more of a personal/psychological issue as opposed to a cat one so I hope it's ok to post in this section.

I really want a cat of my own.As a child I grew up in a cat household, in fact I can't remember a time when my mum didn't have one. I love them and love my mum's current cat.

Since moving out I/we've never had a pet of our own. I live with DH and DD and I know my daughter would love one too.

So the problem....I'm afraid of how I'll cope when the time comes when potential cat gets old/sick and I have to make that horrendous trip to the vet to say goodbye. It's always been my mum who's had to make that visit in the past. I could never bring myself to go. When my mum's latest cat was brought to be put to sleep, DB went with her and was in absolute floods during the procedure (I haven't seen my brother cry in 20 years!).

I don't cope with death very well as it is, the thought of loving a cat for 15 years then saying goodbye makes me feel awful (and this is before I've even got one!).

Should I avoid? Does the good outweigh the bad? How do you cope knowing that day will come?

I know it sounds ridiculous considering I chose to have a child but I'm hoping (for want of a better word) that I'll shuffle off this mortal coil a long time before her!

Speaking as someone whose much beloved cat died yesterday I can wholeheartedly say that the good totally outweighs the bad.

We are absolutely distraught at losing her - we only had her for a few years, she adopted us at the age of 10/11, but she brought us so much joy in those few short years.

Well death is a part of life. There isn't one of us who escapes it.

Things that bring us joy need to be grasped with both hands because there is precious little of that in the world.

And if you think of it another way, the cat for you may be out there right now and on a list to be euthanised because a home can't be found. So you could put death off for a long time and give happy years instead.

I know. It's a dreadful but fundamental part of life.

I've had death around me all of my years and each one, human or animal, stirs the same thoughts for me - 'But where did it all go ? All that love, quirkiness, thoughtfulness and so on?'

You can't let it disable you - just enjoy any good loving and fun you can, while you can. That in itself is a justification for living to me - and it's worth having a cat for that reason. They don't have foreknowledge. They enjoy each day they're given as if it was a fresh and joyful thing - which is a lesson to us.

Maybe you wouldn't be able to make the trip to the vets, or go by yourself at any rate. So be it - there are people who never can for some reason. There are also, however, people who grow into pet ownership having never thought they could so maybe you - or your DD - will be one of those.

I'd go visit your nearest cat rescue with her and give it a go. 'Does the good outweigh the bad?' You bet your ass it does!

Thank you all

gamerchick that's an excellent point, I've never thought of it that way.