Any advice? Irrational resentment at beloved cat

[Squarepegina]

Honestly I love my cat. We got her and her brother as kittens two years ago and they have been wonderful pets. Tragically her brother was killed on a road a year ago and it was awful for us and her. After a month of fussing she blossomed and found a new confidence without her brother. Fast forward to now and we would love another cat. Partly because I (mistakenly) believed she would like some cat company and partly because I would like another kitten or cat. So we took on a kitten and my two year old cat has hated it. Never heard her hiss ever but now full of vitriol at this new intruder. And promptly vanished from the house.

We did the separate thing, smells thing and lots of cuddles. But the long and the short of it that it was so distressing for both we caved in and returned the kitten. I'm now irrationally resentful of my lovely cat. Wrong I know but is it reasonable to let my cat dictate my pets or should I just toughen up?

I'm sure you didn't return the kitten without thinking long and hard about it.

Some cats - many cats, even - just don't like other cats in their home place. (They seem to be fine with adult dogs for some reason - most of mine appear to view dogs as lolloping lumps who are largely to be ignored.)

I still carry the mental scars from being around Seniorboy and The Lodger. Seniorboy detested and despised The Lodger - a wonderful and clubbable cat - and was actually getting worse and not improving. I think Seniorboy would have happily watched The Lodger in agonising pain and laughed throughout. The Lodger moved on to pastures new but it wasn't fun while it lasted.

Cats are their own beings so if you share your home with one, I believe that you have to be grateful for the privilege of any regard and not put emotions on to them which are your own. Enjoy her for what she is.

Cozie I know...the voice of reason...and I do enjoy her for who she is. It's the realisation that over the years our cats, apart from the dire road accident, have lived for 18-20 years so chances are I'm going to peg it before I have another kitten to snuggle!!!!

It's certainly true that I've reassessed my thoughts since Seniorboy just....... kept on going. (He's now over 20.) Even though he's turned out, surprisingly, to have the genes of a simple tractor and I wouldn't expect that every cat would be the same.

It does rather sound as if you were thinking of your own wishes rather than hers though? Kittenhood lasts for such a very short time. And Siamese do snuggle for their whole lives so I suppose I don't feel deprived.