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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

What can I do?!

9 replies

DragonflyMornings · 03/06/2015 21:15

Not sure what to do about this one. I have 2 cats, a brother and a sister, since they were kittens. They're approx. 4 years old.

Unfortunately my boy cat left one afternoon about a week after my DD was born and never came back. We spent many an evening looking for him and calling his name. He was always bullied by other local cats and was generally a bit of a soft touch (he often slept inside the bed with us). A few months passed and we saw him from a distance a few times but he never allowed us to come close.

We later discovered he was being fed by a neighbour a few doors up. This neighbour helped capture him and back home he came (hooray!). We kept all the doors/windows shut for approx. 3/4 months over the winter and after allowing him to go outside again, he behaved as he did before he ever disappeared.

Unfortunately one day, he failed to return and has gone back to aforementioned neighbour who is again feeding him. Whole thing is repeated once more.

Now over a year has passed since he first left.
The neighbour has all of a sudden decided he wants to trap him and bring him back to ours again as he is causing problems with his cats and won't let them come and go freely into his house. He says he will do it this weekend.

Obviously as much as I am heartbroken that I have lost my beloved boy, I physically can't force him to stay here, and he will manage to escape sooner or later. It's summer now and I will have to have windows and doors open. I'm frustrated that this man began to feed him in the first place, as I feel that may have discouraged my cat from returning home.

Anyway, what are my options? I've tried to find an alternative home for him among my friends and family but they aren't able to take him.

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DragonflyMornings · 03/06/2015 21:16

Lordy! I apologise for the huge post. I ramble. I'm sorry.

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PinkSparklyPussyCat · 03/06/2015 21:20

Is cat proofing your garden an option? Other than that I really can't think of anything although I'm sure someone will have a better idea.

DragonflyMornings · 03/06/2015 21:29

No, unfortunately it's not possible with my house. Neither is an outdoor cat run thingy :(

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timtam23 · 03/06/2015 21:35

This is a really hard one to answer. I guess if you really can't keep him long-term yourself - and if he stays with you he will be highly likely to try to go back to the neighbour who no longer wants him - you might have to consider asking a rescue to take him in and rehome him in a different area to give him the best opportunity to settle?
This would be really hard for me to do though, i'm not sure that I would be able to give my own cat up.
Am a bit Angry at your neighbour who encouraged & fed the cat when it suited him and has now changed his mind, putting you in a really difficult situation

ragged · 03/06/2015 21:36

if neighbour has to 'trap' your cat, not least because your cat has gone ASBO on the neighbour's other cats, then it sounds like your cat is just raiding the excess in the food bowls neighbour has out for their own cats, not that your neighbour is deliberately feeding your cat.

Or are you saying the neighbour puts out food for your boy cat & your boy cat alone?

DragonflyMornings · 03/06/2015 21:51

My neighbour puts food outside for my cat and feeds his cats indoors. I assume my cat now wants to come inside to eat and sleep, etc. From what the neighbour has said, I believe he has a covered garage/shed area which has been where he's fed and given attention.

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DragonflyMornings · 03/06/2015 21:55

... He also insists on telling my how affectionate and cuddly my cat is. I know! He used to love me! :'(

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ragged · 03/06/2015 22:07

okay, neighbour is a twat but probably no point in getting riled about it.

What is the neighbour going to do when your cat turns up again for food? Can you get neighbour to promise to put out no food out whatsoever and to shoo the cat away to some extent?

Where is boycat sleeping, btw? Not in your house, not indoors with neighbour, so where? Are you sure there's not a 3rd home involved?

You can't make boy-cat indoor-only (I wouldn't want to either) and you can't keep boy-cat from going around there for food. So it's up to what neighbour does, really, cats do go where the food is usually.

We had this from library not long back.

DragonflyMornings · 03/06/2015 22:18

Yep I always wonder if he's a "Six-Dinner Sid" (I read that book as a child) but my poor boy's slight build would suggest otherwise.
Twatty neighbour has a few sheds in his garden all with cat flaps in, and claims he sleeps in one of them.

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