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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Cats and kitten

27 replies

Madratlady · 08/03/2015 05:24

We got a kitten about 4 weeks ago, he is adorable, crazy and the most affectionate kitten I've ever met. He came from a household with 5 cats.

Our adult cats were allowed to meet the kitten at their own pace. They are less than impressed. Boycat will play with the kitten occasionally and is happy to coexist with him but kitten wants to play constantly which he shows by pouncing on boycat non stop. We discourage this.

Girlcat won't go near the kitten, big angry hiss if it so much as looks at her. Kitten seems to be starting to keep his distance from her and getting that she doesn't want to play.

The kitten is not allowed upstairs so the adult cats have their own space and they have food and water there as well so they can eat without being bounced on by the kitten.

Any advice for helping them all to accept each other? It will get easier when the kitten calms down I think. Is feliway worth a go? I'm regretting letting dh persuade me to get a kitten because of the stress on my lovely cats, but we have him now so we're just going to have to get through the crazy kitten months until it all calms down.

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 08/03/2015 08:10

It sounds OK actually, Madrat.

RubbishMantra · 08/03/2015 11:01

I felt the same as you when we got MKitten in the summer. I thought I'd made a mistake. All MCat did was hiss and growl at him all the time. They're proper brothers now, even groom each other.

Play with the kitten lots, with interactive fishing rod type toys like DaBird or Flying Frenzy. That will tire him out, so less likely to hassle your other cats.

And I'd agree with what Cozie said.

Fluffycloudland77 · 08/03/2015 13:30

Kittens must be very annoying to adults though. It'd be like having a toddler high on haribo and cola wanting to play ALL THE TIME.

chockbic · 08/03/2015 13:35

Too right, Fluffy.

Little kid interloper.

It will sort itself out given time.

cozietoesie · 08/03/2015 13:52

It sounds as if the adults are dealing with the PITA (Sorry, Madrat, but he sounds as if he is one) and also as if the kitten is learning to mind. The quiet place for the adults to go is a good thing.

If everyone is eating well and the kitten is also using his tray fine, I'd let it roll.

MadeinSouthWest · 08/03/2015 13:59

We recently introduced a kitten to two adult cats. I didn't separate food and living spaces for too long as the cats soon worked out places to sleep where the kitten wouldn't find them. Basically I left them to it and they all worked out their own space. Huge progress was made when kitten was allowed outside - the fresh air meant he slept better and one of the cats actually started chasing/playing with him in the garden.

I loved the dynamics of having just the two cats and, a few months on, still have moments of sadness for that time but Ste by step the kitten is fitting in and the new dynamics are becoming delightful too.

Original poster
Madratlady · 08/03/2015 17:01

He is a PITA, I have made a mistake. Adult cats seem stressed and the kitten scratched my 15 month old son across the face today. Wish I'd never got the kitten, all I ever do is separate the kitten and the child or the kitten and the adult cats.

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 08/03/2015 17:14

What signs of undue stress are the adults showing? And what were the kitten and your DS doing at the time of the scratch?

Original poster
Madratlady · 08/03/2015 17:41

The adult cats won't be anywhere near the kitten, they seem tense all the time, neither of them will come in if the kitten is within sight. They are much less affectionate and seem pretty cross with us!

As far as I could see DS was reaching towards the kitten, usually this results in playful paw batting if I don't separate them immediately. This looked like a swipe across his cheek.

I like the furry little twat but he's causing everyone so much stress. When is he likely to calm down? We had boycat as a kitten but he was always much more chilled than this

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 08/03/2015 18:03

They calm down after castration but he's young & doesn't know how to behave, a big part of a cats brain is used to detect movement so everything that moves is a potential toy.

Fluffy cat was a right little bastard but even calmed down after neutering. I regretted getting him at first.

cozietoesie · 08/03/2015 19:31

Is Girlcat by any chance being more standoffish with Boucat than usual?

Original poster
Madratlady · 08/03/2015 19:45

Girl cat is being more standoffish with everyone than usual. Her and boycat were inseparable till she was lost for 5 weeks just over a year ago, now they happily live together but leave each other theirbiwn space.

We have tried letting little furry twatbag have the run of the house a long with the big cats, its going OK, they are annoyed at him and me but its not too bad.

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 08/03/2015 19:50

I think it's a waiting game, cats can sulk & throw strops like a pro. They will come round, when they think you've been punished enough & he will grow up and stop being boisterous.

Original poster
Madratlady · 08/03/2015 19:56

Remind me , how soon can I confiscate his balls?

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 08/03/2015 20:00

About 4 months depending on weight. Takes two weeks for testosterone to leave his body.

Right now you think you hate him but you'll see the nurse take him away and cry all the way home.

Or that might just be me.

cozietoesie · 08/03/2015 20:02

Cat society is complicated - loads going on even when they seem calm. My guess (and it really is a guess) is that because PITA arriving has upset the normal dynamic, there's a shaking-out going on with Girlcat realizing that she's got to step up to the plate and boss the pair of them rather than just mooch around with Boycat following behind. From the sound of your OP, it's working (PITA starting to keep his distance from her) so I'd be tempted to see how it goes for another short while but continue to let the adults have their quiet space upstairs with food and water.

Probably best to keep DS away from the kitten at the moment if you can. 15 months is just a tad young to have a reasoned discussion about things. Smile

Original poster
Madratlady · 08/03/2015 20:45

DH separeted boycat and the kitten and boycat went to find the kitten. Who is now lying around my neck like a scarf purring. I think allowing them all the whole house might be working , hopefully they will all learn to live together, we'll continue to shut the kitten downstairs at night so he doesn't keep us awake.

DS and the kitten are supervised but I dropped my guard for a second earlier, they are difficult to keep apart cos they both love each other and want to play, but babies and kittens both play rough!

OP posts:
Original poster
Madratlady · 08/03/2015 20:46

Here is the annoyance, isn't he cute?

Cats and kitten
OP posts:
Hassled · 08/03/2015 20:49

I sympathise - was in exactly the same boat a couple of years ago. Feliway and patience works - it's so easy to forget quite how full on a kitten is, and also how quickly that phase passes.

Our girlcat (who hissed all the time at kitten and seemed to hate us for inflicting him on her) is now a sort of playmate. Certainly they tolerate each other and will sleep on the same bed, often run around the garden after each other. Older boycat remains the boss - there's no doubt of the pecking order.

Do give it time - they'll adapt.

Original poster
Madratlady · 08/03/2015 20:51

Should I order some feliway? Does it work?

OP posts:
Hassled · 08/03/2015 20:54

We got a pug in Feliway thing which I think did help hissing girlcat a bit, yes. Maybe she'd have calmed down anyway, but at the time we thought it was the Feliway.

Fluffycloudland77 · 08/03/2015 20:54

He is spectacularly gorgeous.

cozietoesie · 08/03/2015 21:43

He is quite the beau. Smile And going to be a calm and masterful alpha cat when he grows up from the look of those eyes.

RubbishMantra · 09/03/2015 07:48

Ah, he's lovely!

And yes, try a Feliway plug in on each floor.

girliefriend · 09/03/2015 13:24

Oh don't call him names, he is so cute!! Wink

I think your big cats sound fine, I wouldn't worry about trying to separate them from the kitten. They will let the kitten know when they have had enough!! However the 15 month old is a bit more tricky Grin that is going to be more stressful however kitten should calm down a bit once neutered and allowed outside.