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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

How can I stop by cat being a thug?

32 replies

fairyfuckwings · 14/02/2015 11:21

We adopted a 4 year old tom cat a year ago. He'd only just been castrated at the time.

He's just so vicious. He's very big and has quite a lot of battle scars which should have been a bit of a red flag but for some reason he was the one we all wanted so we took him home.

He seems to quite like living with us and the kids love him but he just hasn't warmed to us at all. We can't pick him up or stroke him really as he's just too violent. He attacks my other older tom cat so I've had to separate them. Also attacked the vet twice.

He terrorises the neighbourhood cats too. My neighbour told me he's been regularly attacking her two cats and actually drawing blood.

I've thought about a felliway defused but won't that only calm him whilst he's in the home? Also he's caused probably about a thousand pounds worth of damage in the home - shredded carpet, sofa and chairs. He won't use the scratching post at all.

I'd hoped he'd calm down over time but it's been a year now and he's still exactly the same. He walks round with his hackles up - seems to have the fur on his spine permanently stood up. He will come and rub himself against us but if I stroke him he'll scratch.

OP posts:

Original poster

fairyfuckwings · 14/02/2015 11:25

Forgot to add - have taken him to the vet. He attacked her twice. She thinks he's just a bit of a killer and said to make sure I regularly wormed him.

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msrisotto · 14/02/2015 11:31

Ok. Buy the feliway diffuser - it'll help save your furniture as well as body parts. Play with him - get him to chase and kill mice on the end of fishing rod type toys - it'll help him release some energy/aggression and it'll help bonding.

Read any books by Vicky Halls, and watch 'My Cat From Hell' - there's loads of episodes on youtube and some on animal planet.

gamerchick · 14/02/2015 11:32

Do you play with him? Interactive toys to focus his energies in another direction and tire him out type of play?

msrisotto · 14/02/2015 11:33

Where are the scratching posts? They have to be in socially important places - so he can mark high value (location wise) territory. Hiding it in a corner is not attractive to a cat. Try putting it in front of the worst damaged sofa leg or whatever and get him to chase a piece of string along the floor and up onto the post, see if he takes to it. You could also try spraying/rubbing catnip on it. Also, he might prefer to scratch horizontal surfaces, you could buy a cheap cardboard scratching box to test that theory out.

gamerchick · 14/02/2015 11:34

X post.

I second cats from hell. Watch the izzy and Einstein episode to get ideas to help your other cat to start with I would say.

Original poster

fairyfuckwings · 14/02/2015 11:48

Thanks - loads of good ideas there!

The scratching posts are both on corners. I have put catnip on but he just wasn't interested. My sister has those cardboard scratch pads and her cats seem to like them so I'll get some today.

No I don't play with him at all. I got savaged too many times and thought he didn't it. We tried the fishing rod type toys but he's not daft and quickly worked out that if he clawed my hand he'd "win" the game! He does like playing on his own though with mice and balls.

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WhatismyLife · 14/02/2015 11:50

I don't have any advice but I sympathise as my cat is the same. Have you tried carpet samples for him to scratch?

Original poster

fairyfuckwings · 14/02/2015 11:52

I'll go down to pets at home and see if I can get the things suggested.

I know he sounds like a horrible cat but he is quite cute looking. He is cross eyed, has a broken nose and a kinked tail and is massive. And the kids absolutely adore him. He's just incredibly arsey.

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Original poster

fairyfuckwings · 14/02/2015 11:53

No he doesn't like carpet samples. He prefers actual carpet!

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gamerchick · 14/02/2015 12:18

See the thing is if you want to change his behaviour then it can be done but you'll have to physically put the time in.

I know I keep banging on but watch a load of cats from hell. It's just American telly but I've learned a shed load of cat language and how they tick from that program and I knew sfa about the things a few months ago.

Or you can ignore the issue and carry on as before. Buying stuff from the shop and hoping for the best with minimum effort just isn't going to cut it.

Original poster

fairyfuckwings · 14/02/2015 12:27

No I will do - honestly! I will watch the programme you suggested.

The reason I stopped playing with him is that I thought he didn't like it as he was attacking me. He probably did like it though as he does like attacking things!

I've has cats for about 25 years and I do love them. I've just not had one like him before. The others have all been from kittens and been really affectionate. This one I just don't "get". I do want to understand him though so I'll get the book recommended and watch those programmes.

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ShadowsShadowsEverywhere · 14/02/2015 12:37

fairy If he's attacking you, then you need to move faster! The more you play this game, the more you're learn when he's about to pounce or go for your hand, move quicker. Im probably a wee bit mad, but I literally get those fishing rod toys and then sprint round the house dragging then behind me, stand up and hold it way out of their reach so they have to jump high to catch just the end, run them round and round the room at different heights, up onto the sofa, down under the table etc. give him a really really good work out and importantly let him "kill" at the end. Let go and let him pounce on and chew to death the toy. Mine also like small remote controlled cars with a piece of string and paper ball tied to the end. Then I get DD to drive the car about and they hare after it but there's no chance any hands will get mauled. Granted my two are kittens and so still super playful but it's likely to be your best bet in channeling his aggression.

givemushypeasachance · 14/02/2015 13:20

Just in terms of getting him to use some energy killing something that isn't you/other cats/furniture have you seen the Flying Frenzy/Da Bird rod toy? They come with loads of different attachments you can use - the original bird ones rotate as you wave them around, so they "fly" realistically and make a noise like real birds do. YouTube is full of videos of cats going beserk for them - my boys particularly like hunting them out on the lawn when the weather is nice. Some of the other attachments are like mice or insects so fun to pounce on and chew, or made from rabbit fur or crinkly foil or ribbons - there's something for all cat tastes. And I'm obliged to always mention my two's favourite toys - Boinks which are brilliant for chasing around on laminate type flooring especially.

In terms of how your boys get on together I'm sure you've already looked into the ensuring they have two of anything they're likely to fight over e.g. food/water areas, sleeping areas, litter trays and that the one who comes off worse has somewhere he can escape too, but I thought it was just worth mentioning. I saw a video clip from a pet behaviourist advising someone with two cats who fought before, and they said it was good to have somewhere high the "victim" can use to escape - so where they were getting cornered in the kitchen, they installed a cat climbing pole so it could get up there and not be backed into a physical fight.

gamerchick · 14/02/2015 13:24

I do similar to the above. You do learn how to stay one step ahead. . Let them hunt, get them jumping and wear them out. They kill the toy then it's feed, wash and sleep.

I.love the remote controlled car idea.. I'm going to pinch that

Fluffycloudland77 · 14/02/2015 13:34

Zylkene off amazon.

Original poster

fairyfuckwings · 14/02/2015 14:10

My other cat is 15 this year so quite "elderly" really. They do sometimes spend time together - but only if I'm there too. He can't escape in time really as the other cat generally will, for example, jump on him when he's asleep, pin him down and then start biting him. He's quite likely playing as he's never injured him but my older cat doesn't like it and can't get away. They spend most of their time in separate parts of the house. The older one doesn't go out so much - especially not in winter - and just likes to chill out and be stroked.

I'm not too worried about how they are with each other. The older one seems happy enough with the separate living arrangements - he's not having accidents or anything. I don't think they hate each other. The younger one is just annoying.

I've been playing with him today and I do think that I was probably interpreting all his scratching etc as aggression. I think he does enjoy playing a lot.

He is affectionate but in his own way. He will rub himself against me and I can stroke him, but only if I let him smell my hand first, and only on his head. Maybe he'll always be like this?

He's still not tried the new scratch things or the posts since I moved them, but it's not been long so maybe he'll try them later.

He's not wanted to go out today as it's raining. I think I'll try keeping him in if possible for a few days. See if the felliway and playtime calm him before I unleash him on the neighbourhood!

To be fair to him he's not that bad with the family. We all know not to pick him up or crowd him so he doesn't attack us that much. I think some of it has been him wanting to play but I thought he was more wanting to hurt me.

I'm going to sit down and watch those programmes now as I really can't be bothered going anywhere today.

Thanks so much for the advice. Loafs of really good ideas. I feel a bit stupid for not playing with him. I genuinely thought I was annoying him and that's why he'd attack my hand. Plus I thought it was just kittens that played as it's a long time since my older one wanted to do things love that...

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gamerchick · 14/02/2015 14:36

Well don't feel stupid. The last thing we want to do is play nice with something that's been hurting us. He really doesn't enjoy how he's feeling he's just trying to tell you how frustrated he is.

I do admire you having more than one. I think I would go grey.

Original poster

fairyfuckwings · 15/02/2015 20:23

Hope the upload works. This is Mr Pickles in his new scratching house. It was all they had at pets at home in the cardboard line. It remains unscratched!

The feliway plug in has made a noticeable improvement. My old boy (seamus) actually chose to spend the night with Pickles in the kitchen as that's where it was plugged in. I came down in the middle of the night and they were both happily avoiding each other at opposite ends of the room - pickles (evil cat) on the sofa and seamus (old cat) on a comfy chair. I sat on the sofa next to pickles and stroked him (only his head mind) and he purred. Which is a first!

So, although it's early days, I do feel optimistic. And I'm going to stock up on feliway!

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Original poster

fairyfuckwings · 15/02/2015 20:26

As I typed this he came and joined me on the sofa and sat next to me. About a 6 inch gap but that's quite close for him. And again allowed me to stroke his head. I think he's mellowing!

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Fluffycloudland77 · 15/02/2015 20:26

He looks the picture of innocence there. I suspect feliway is cheaper on eBay.

Original poster

fairyfuckwings · 15/02/2015 20:42

Doesn't he just? I do have a particular weakness for black and white cats. And he is gorgeous looking in a "big thug" kinda way. In fact if he was human I think he'd probably be a bouncer called Barry the Bastard.

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RubbishMantra · 16/02/2015 18:37

I too have a b&w bitey bastard. DH looked on in amazement when he allowed me to stroke him on our first meeting. He'd never allowed anyone to stroke him before.

A few years later, he demands strokes. At first, only the head was allowed to be touched. Now he tarts it up, writhing about on his back, demanding belly rubs.

RubbishMantra · 16/02/2015 18:42

Here's my black and white thug.

He usually wears that pissed off expression.

JanetWeb2812 · 16/02/2015 19:06

Your boy is deffo the boss of his bailiwick RubbishMantra. no chunks out of his lug holes. We used to have bruiser in our neighbourhood that we nicknamed Tyson: big, black and dangerous to know!

Original poster

fairyfuckwings · 17/02/2015 01:59

My cat would definitely have yours in a fight rubbishmantra

I know you can't tell from the photo but mine is huuuge. And hard.

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