tips for stressed-out cat?

[Chachah]

Our indoor cat has always been friendly but anxious, with a very delicate stomach (the vet says there's nothing "wrong" with her, he thinks it's a sort of IBS...).

Now it's getting worse, she's been losing a lot of weight and started peeing in our house, which she'd never done before. I think it's mostly because DH stupidly (stupidly!!!) brought a kitten back home a few months ago, who is now bullying her.

The vet ruled out major health problems, so it's clearly stress-related. I've started putting the grown-up kitten out during the day (he loves it), so our indoor cat has some space to herself. I've bought her some Feliway, which she does seem to love.

The vet suggested we give her a room to herself, keeping the other cat out, but that's not easy because if we let her on her own in our living room or bedroom she pees there :-/

Any other suggestions for measures I could take to help my poor stressed-out kitty relax?

I've just started using Feliway for my cat and new kitten so glad to hear it is helping your kitty. I see that they do all sorts of products, not just the diffuser but a room spray and other stuff - it might be worth adding in some of these? Also make sure that each cat has its own litter tray and feeding bowl. It might be worth feeding them separately, especially with the weight loss of anxious cat and the bullying of new kitten. Has the new kitten been spayed yet?

Hope anxious cat settles down soon.

Yes she really loves the Feliway, she sleeps right next to it and looks so relaxed!!!

They each have a litter tray, but in the same room, as there isn't really another place in the house. Definitely should feed them separately, you're right, as the kitten jumps on my poor kitty and pushes her away every time she tries to eat... (thankfully he's now playing outside most of the day)

The kitten was spayed a while back, but it hasn't changed anything as far as I can tell. He's always been very assertive and dominant with her, and he just stayed the same way - guess it probably stopped it from getting worse!!

Fingers crossed our kitties manage to relax...

Does she have somewhere she can escape to and not feel cornered/blocked in around the rooms they use most? I remember seeing a clip once where this cat behaviour expert identified that the 'victim' cat in a similar multi-cat bullying situation used to get backed into a corner of the kitchen and that made her particularly stressed, so they added a climbing pole with platforms so she could reach the safety of the top of the cupboards and then across from them she could get away to other rooms. Just an idea.

I've generally seen advice that for multi-cat households the recommended number of things like litter trays is one per cat plus one extra? Is that possible for you?

Feeding separately sounds like an idea - or can you supervise feeding, perhaps feed her higher up on a table or counter and watch so keeping the other cat away until she's finished?

thanks for the "escaping" suggestion - I think it's pretty much what happens, the other cats runs after her until she's cornered and has nowhere to escape... but how do I provide an escape for her, that he can't follow her to??

I've been thinking of getting her a cat tree, so she could climb up to safety, but I'm worried the other cat would just climb after her and try to dislodge her :-/

I wouldn't claim to be an expert, but I imagine that being able to climb up high would give her a bit of an inherent advantage - it has to be more difficult to climb up and challenge a cat that's securely got the literal upper hand at the top of a cat tree or a cupboard or something. And maybe if it's more of an 'escape route' thing then at least it eliminates the cornering aspect of the problem - may still end up being chased around a bit, but she'd always have somewhere else to go?

Yep yep definitely give her somewhere to get away, cats feel safest when they are up high and can survey what's below them. We have a box on top of a wardrobe and access to a bed on the work top in the utility room. Also I would feed them completely separately. Worried cat being fed up high and away from kitten cat.

Increase the number of litter trays you have too. I know it's not ideal but imagine worried cat is bursting for a wee but can't get to the trays without getting past kitten cat because she's too scared. Perhaps one in the bathroom upstairs or a landing. Consider where your trays are too. Are they in the corner of the room or in a space she can easily run away from if cornered. When you've shut her in your bedroom or living room has she had a litter tray in there too?

I'd also add some spaces she can hide round the house. Things like moving the sofas away from the walls a little so she can escape there, boxes are good too as long as there's two holes so she can escape if needed.

I meant to say I know it's not ideal with the litter trays. We used to have one upstairs for an older cat and it was a pain but better than scrubbing wee out the carpet

We had/have a similar situation. I was going to say 'had' as it's much better now but just as I was writing it had to go and rescue white cat from the spare bedroom....

Essentially we have one cat who is about as docile as you can get, and another who is, for all intents and purposes, a cat shaped velociraptor, whose idea of play is a blood sport. At one point we did consider rehoming one of them as we felt so bad for quiet cat, but things have settled down a bit in recent times.

Things we found that have helped:

• Trays in different rooms. This does mean we have a tray in our bedroom, but it's been well worth it.

• Lots and lots of attention and play for veloci-cat, but absolutely zero tolerance for aggression towards humans or other cats. Normally I don't mind a bit of rough play, but with her, the second she pounces on human flesh, the play stops. We figured this would help her learn that other living beings have feelings too.

• We think that part of why veloci-cat is such a nightmare is insecurity (she was a rescue) so we try not to use fear as a punishment - the occasional 'OI!' but nothing more than that. What does work really well, but only in close quarters, eg when her jaws are clamped around a hand, is blowing gently into her face. We are now nearing a point where if she's doing something bad, I can blow in her vicinity and she'll hear it and stop, which is very handy.

• Separate bedrooms at night. Nice cat is in with us and veloci-cat gets the run of the house, but if the weeing is an issue perhaps there's a comfyish room that your nice cat could be in where a wee wouldn't be too destructive? Gives them a bit of a break, and lets the nice cat 'claim' the space a bit.

• Nice cat does have a few spots she escapes to. Veloci-cat could reach these spots if she wanted to, but for some reason rarely does. This appears to be something they've figured out between themselves, but we're careful not to block off the routes to these spots.

We don't feed separately as weirdly food is the one thing that has never been a problem - but definitely would if it was.

Good luck!

thank you for all the advice!!

and for the amazing tale of the veloci-cat... gave me a good chuckle

I had a bit of this last year when I accidentally acquired a kitten. It does get better once cat 2 passes that playful energetic kitten phase, also her being able to go out a lot has helped (though watch out for the dead mice offerings). The other thing we did was to try and help cat 1 to establish herself as the dominant cat and we treated her as such to reinforce the message in kitten's eyes.
Seems to have worked, kitten can still make a pain of herself by chasing cat 1, trying to fight etc but they have generally settled down and even groom each other on occasion.
Kitten knows that Podge is top cat and that's that.

Oh and also yes to cat trees. Ours have a couple, both next to windows so they can watch their territory. We got ones with comfy sleeping baskets on them, and the two cats have each chosen a spot which suits them. We often find them both asleep at different levels in the same cat tree!