How long should I let this go on before I think about rehoming?

[ImNoClownIWontBackDown]

Right, tricky one. I have 3 ds's, aged 2.5, 5 and 8. They are lovely boys and the middle one in particular has always wanted a cat. We recently got two from the local cats protection, they are lovely but they won't go anywhere near my children! They are fine with me, initially quite nervous but getting better, and with dh too. They are much younger than I was told (8 months rather than 14 months!) so I don't know if that has anything to do with it. I feel really guilty even considering giving them back, but I can't bear my boys' disappointment every time the cats run away every time they come in the room! I didn't get them for me (although I love cats!), I wanted them for the boys. They love to play with and stroke cats that we see out and about and they are not doing anything wrong - no chasing or pulling tails etc. I think it is partly the noise that the cats don't like but we can't all be treading on eggshells round the house! How long do I give it?

My old boy took a good year to be comfortable with my dsd. She's only here half the time so it was obviously slower but it does take time. I'd definitely get the children to feed the cats and give them treats. And also to play with them. Can you get the children to sit on the floor near the cats and bat a ping pong ball about between them? Few cats can resist that for long.
Please give it time, they will bond but you can't expect it to happen in just a few days or even weeks.

It is early days and the cats might just need more time to build confidence. As the people at the shelter know your situation, try talking to them for their advice. If it turns out that the cats are scared of children, is there a possibility of a "foster" scheme, this is how I ended up with my second cat as I needed to be sure she would get on with my first cat. I fostered her first and then adopted her.
No point in everyone being sad, stressed and miserable (inc cats) if the you're not suited.

Thanks everyone. I am kicking myself really for taking the first cats we were offered, but the lady was so insistent that they were such lovely affectionate cats - well, they are, but only with me! If I was being selfish i wouldn't hesitate to keep them as I am getting lots of cuddles! I don't see why some people think it is SO unreasonable to get a pet for your children rather than yourself by the way. As others have said, you get all sorts of cats, that's why I specifically asked for cats that would be ok with noisy children! At the end of the day, it's about finding the right family for the right animal so that both benefit from the relationship, surely? The jury's out on that one, but I will give them time to get used to us, and vice versa.

qazxc I love that idea - kind of 'try before you buy'? I will see how we get on over the next few weeks and I might just suggest that!

i don't think any cat would be immediately ok with noisy children in an unfamiliar home. It's a really good sign that the cats are affectionate with you and will get used to the children with time.

Your lap is also bigger and less wriggly than kids. My tortie loves laps but only adult ones. The kids are too wee to be comfy but she'll sit near them. Hunter cat thinks he's too big for laps but likes leaning on you. But I think our cats are great pets and the kids will grow up into closer and closer ties as they become calmer and a better bet for a cat to snooze on.

At night last winter each child had a cat on their bed most nights. The kids emit heat and don't move much once asleep and the cats love warmth and comfort. Works for them both.

Oh goodness me, no.

Our two rescues have been with us for about five months now. They've been 'fine' with us (we're just two adults) since about day four, but it's really only just starting to be properly clear what kind of cats they're going to be, if that makes sense. Honestly, just give it time, and as long as the kids know not to do any of the really bad things they've all got years of being friends together ahead of them. Younger isn't necessarily a bad thing either - they'll all grow up together.

Don't worry. Definitely give it at least another month, and I'd only consider rehoming if the cats were seeming distressed by the children.

Think about it as if you were adopting a child. it will take time to build up a relationship and trust.
Have you tried showing your children how to play with the cats? If they sit quietly and twitch something on a stick or long piece of strings, the cats are likely to play with it.

Our cat is two and we've had him since he was 16 weeks. He adores my DD who is 8, my son adores the cat he is now 5 but really the cat doesn't adore him partly as he doesn't really have the emotional intelligence to handle the cat. The cat has scratched DS quite a few times. Only now would I think he would be old enough to have a cat and slowly the cat and him are becoming friends.

I think you are expecting too much from the cats, they aren't toys, they are not there to entertain the kids.

I've had my kitten 5 weeks and she has only just now starting too approach the DC she is only 12 weeks old though. Mind you she doesn't think twice about attacking the giant collie give them time to settle in they will be best of friends soon enough.

I cannot believe that you would suggest this. It is not as if they are hurting your children, just a life lesson that they need to be patient. Those poor cats! I have to wonder if you've ever has cats before, they cannot be picked to order- the shelter cannot guarantee any cats will perform as you want. And what sort of message does that send to your kids-oh they are not instantly perfect, send them back! They are live creatures and don't come with a warrantee.
Surely you considered potential pitfalls first? I have no issue with getting pets for kids, it can be a great thing, but as someone else said you need to manage their expectations.
As for practical advice, yes to giving them plenty of time (which is not days, could be months+), feliway is great for calming most cats and double yes to your kids doing the treats/food. My daughter loves feeding our rescue cat and she gets so much affection when shaking the packet of dreamies.