New Kitten in hiding!

[eachpeachbarebum]

Hi. I don't know why I'm posting really because I know I need to wait for him to come out in his own time but I'm finding it tough and hate the thought of going to bed with him hiding and scared.
We picked up our new kitten tonight.he is confined to the kitchen with food, bed, litter tray and a couple of toys.
It's been 5 hrs since we got him.he stayed in his carrier under the kitchen table and let me stroke him a little bit. Then my husband went to check on him, he hissed (kitten not husband!) And is now somewhere under our run of kitchen cupboards having got through loose kickback. We didn't see him do this it's just a process of elimination that there is nowhere else he can be.
I know I should have foreseen this, I hold my hands up so please don't flame me.
I don't want to take other kickbacks off to find him and cause him further stress. I'm trying to tell myself that it's fine that he can hide and feel secure until ready to come out but the waiting is hard.
I also just read a forum talking about a bonding room that should not be a room people are in and out of. I thought it best to start him where all his things are going to be and to be around people. I've read another recent thread about kitten settling but would appreciate some advice/ reassurance.

That's how it starts you know. It's all ok he can stay for stories/until mum goes to bed/tonight as he's a bit under the weather/because the dc feel lonely.

A half Siamese who's already bonded to you? Start the training now - it goes easier with them if they get it at kittenhood.

Half Siamese you say? Oh Lordy.

Half Siamese, you say?

I thought you wanted a cat, not a temper tantrumming toddler in cat form...

I luffs my genetic composition of Toddler/Siamese in Bengal form a gazillion - but I do get a sense of 'ha!' when I take her to the vets and she goes all quiet....

On the other hand, she's currently curled up on my lap, and it's lovely having a totally bonded cat that adores you (as long as I give in to all her demands).

Have you ever heard a Siamese cat say 'Not'? It's loud and ear-splitting.

I also have a fat cat with no genes in common with the Siamese. He's cute.

I've lived with Siamese since I was a kid many many moons ago. It's a question of mutual respect really. (Mutual being that I'm Topcat in the house and they have a lovely life.)

I'm not sure that it's a good idea to live with Siamese unless you're strong willed. That's what they seem to be happiest with.

Cozie my divorce is easier to negotiate than my cat.

As you say, it's a case of mutual respect...

Hammered by cat, hammered by STBXH.

I still luffs the cat.

I lost you!
How's it all going Chez Peach?

Hello! It is going really well thanks. Hard to remember what it was like pre peach kitten.
He is getting very confident which shows in not backing off from sudden movements, loud noises and over excited dc running around him.
He is honing his jumping skills.i can't believe where he's managed to reach. I do need to think about behaviour. He is getting upper paw.he jumps on the work surface and the dining table. I keep pushing him off and saying no but he is very persistent!
He's had his first set of jabs and he's booked I for his second lot, neutering and microchipping.
He is eating lots and growing very quickly. I love having him round the house. He follows me from room to room and loves being close, even climbing up the step ladder while I was painting.
In the evening he relaxes after the dc go to bed and sits on mine and dp's lap all evening. Can't imagine not having him now, oh and yes he has his way with the bedrooms but doesn't really stay I them or go on the bed.
Bet you wish you'd never asked Enrique! I've missed sharing all this.just got busy and distracted.
How are you and yours?
Cozietozie and whoknew ease tell me how I can train my siamese cross.he is very determined!
Whoknew sorry you're going through all that

How's your willpower? You need an iron grip and absolute consistency - and don't worry in the least that 'he won't like me any more'. They seem to respect a human who knows what they're about and relax more than they otherwise might. (Seniorboy, who came to me as an older cat even then, has fairly blossomed since he came here - I run a much tighter ship in some ways than my Mum but he's much more relaxed and more sociable than he was at her house.)

If he's got strong Siamese in him - and it sounds as if he has - and is bonded to you, use the power of 'Exclusion From The Presence'. In the event of a breach of the house rules, tell him he's a Bad Boy, shut him away from you for about 20 minutes, then open the door and let him come back in at his own pace - no invitation. Be completely consistent and he'll learn very quickly indeed.

You've got to mean it though. It's no use at all saying 'Bad Boy' in a tone of voice which is oozing with 'Who's Mummy's coochy coochy boy then?' At the beginning, you need to be completely alert to infractions of the (few) rules and completely consistent about enforcing them. Within a couple of weeks at the most, you should be able - if you can do that - to simply say 'Excuse ME?????' in a tone which implies Doom and he'll look thoroughly guilty and stop thinking bad thoughts.

Cozietozie you seem to have the measure of him! He has bonded very well, is amazingly patient with the dc and is sitting on visitors' knees and socialising well.
He is however very strong willed (I am too so here goes battle!) My absolute no nos for him are jumping on the kitchen surfaces and dining room table. I keep getting him down immediately with stern words but it doesn't help that this is where he is kept at night which I can't really change. Will the exclusion method work for this sort of thing? I'd read somewhere that praise or telling them off even fractionally after the event doesn't work.
Fwiw I obviously don't leave anything out and he seems more inclined to jump to be on our level so he can meow directly at us!
Sorry for rambling - bit tired.

I only have 3 clear House Rules - I don't think too many strict rules are good for them.

No going on kitchen surfaces
No scratching on unauthorized surfaces
No biting in bed

but I'm absolutely implacable on those. Apart from those, they pretty much do as they want (with me dancing attendance on them) although I've noticed over the years that those rules - particularly the first and last - seem to extend in cat/Siamese minds in some peculiar way which I've never worked out so that eg 'No going on kitchen surfaces' becomes ' No going on kitchen and various other surfaces'.

I don't know about post-event but my trick is to get them pre-event as well as during. Once you know your cat, you can tell when they're having a Bad Thought because their eyes go sort of far away and eg - if they're planning to jump - their backsides start a little semi-shimmy. Discipline on the thought as well as the act and you're made. (They acknowledge that as perfectly fine and legal.)

I think I'd try the exclusion. It's easier for me because my Siamese are so bonded to me that they hate being separated physically or emotionally from me - and they sleep in bed with me every night so any contrast between the nightly love-fest and being shut out in the (spiritual) cold strikes very hard at them.

I lost you and then suddenly found you when I got on my kindle, so placemarking now for later.

How are you all getting on now?

I'm really strict about not getting on tables or surfaces and it's worked up to now, although people reckon that you don't know what happens when you're not there
All I can say is that you have to be firm and consistent at all times.
I think it also helps to use a carer's sixth sense anticipating what they're going to get up to. I know with some cats I've eyeballed them just at the instant they were going to leap and told them a really strict NO accompanied by the 'stop' hand gesture.

I do sometimes look after a couple of cats who desperately want to get into areas where they've learnt they're not allowed and they try it on all the time.