Neighbours kittens

[ShadowsShadowsEverywhere]

We've recently had new neighbours move in next door. Towards the end of last week two kittens appeared in their garden, I'm not sure whether they'd just got them or had been keeping them inside for a few days.
One of the kittens kept popping its head over our fence and watching DCs playing.

Yesterday when I went to take the bins out the same kitten was sat on my path mewing. As soon as she saw the open door she was in the house. I ushered her out the back door, but she spent the rest of yesterday coming back in, or playing with the DCs toys in the garden. Every time something made her jump she ran to me and hid under my long skirt! By about 6.30 she was clearly hungry, had jumped up and eaten some scraps in my kitchen and drank DSs milk, so I shooed her back out the front door where I'd found her as she just didn't seem to want to go over the fence back to her own garden.

She was v v thin and seemed confused about where home was. Yesterday she was coming in the windows from the garden and mewing a lot. What do I do if she comes back today? It's obviously more interesting here as neighbours are out most of the day and we are home from lunchtime onwards most days and have a garden full of toys and balls etc which she spent hours playing with yesterday. I'm worried about how thin she looked but don't know a lot about cats or kittens so don't know how normal that is. Any advice would be v much appreciated!

See the lady said to me that if I want to help them it's actually better for me not to feed them, not let them in, and then give it a week and if they are looking thinner, seem to be hanging around because obv not getting right care at home, then I call them and they have something to act on. She said that I can't home them for reasons stated above, also the cats themselves will keep trying to go back next door which is going to be stressful for me and them, and that if I can't home them and they aren't getting proper care that they need to be rehomed but that as long as I feed them I'm preventing them (cats protection) from being able to act. Which is awful as it means I have to potentially let them suffer, but does make sense doesn't it?

Thank you for birthday flowers. I'm going out for a belated child free knees up this weekend with some lovely friends and we are stopping by a piercing place on route to get my nose pierced which I'm very excited about. Fuelled more by my ex saying "oh god, I FORBID you from setting foot in a piercing place Shadows, you're a mother!"

Oh Shadows I've always wanted my nose peirced! I love the look, however I've quite a big, roman nose so fear it would just draw attention to it in not a nice way. Good for you! I went through a lot of what you're going through right now, when I was 24 and the comfort of one or two cats would've been so amazing for my mental health at the time. The flat I was in at the time prevented me from having pets, though.

I think it makes perfect sense what Cats Protection is advising. It's playing a long game, and the suffering they will endure will be in the short run and temporary if it means in the long run they will be rescued and put in a more loving forever home. You're acting in their best interest as you've always done, but I think you need to emotionally let go and concentrate on your beautiful kit/s now. The boys will always have a special place in your heart as they brought you Buttons, really, and you're their protector. That is most definitely enough. x

that's funny want I'm 24 now! I have quite an alternative look and I think it'll actually look really good so I'm sticking two fingers up at ex and going for it!

Yes that's my gut feeling re the boys. I think I'm actually being cruel to keep feeding them because it leaves them in limbo and I shut them out whenever I'm not here or at night and they have to go back home, which probably isn't great for them.

I will always love them very very much, and treasure the memories of snuggle cuddles in bed and them chasing the broom and the chickens and DD, but it is time to let go completely I think.

Which leads me to Ginger Boy. I think I knew deep down as soon as she told me about him, that I would say I'd take him. I think I will give her a ring tomorrow afternoon and arrange to go and look at him and go from there.

I think you're making the right choice, for the boys and for Ginger Boy. Can't wait to hear what you decide tomorrow!

I'm DESPERATE for a cat in my home but trying reeeeally hard to be sensible and have everything lined up just right, financially, practically, etc. to welcome the perfect one.

I'm now in my early 30's by the way, remarried, and v v happy, after a lot of hardship, so please take it from me that it can turn around, it just takes time.

My DH says I look a bit like Jo Whiley...would she suit having a pierced nose? Hmmmm....

Just realised I made this post all about me somehow but just wanted you to know you have supporters out there who can relate to your circumstances!

No, thank you for talking about you, I was worried I'd been killing the thread by posting non cat related things, I think this thread is becoming a bit of a diary space for me and I'm wary of it becoming a monologue!

I have made some small changes over the past week which have made me feel much much better about everything. I was reading that "little ways to feel good" thread over in chat and it inspired me to do some little things to make me smile throughout my day. I've bought a little yellow cat themed breakfast set and have been getting up and making tea in my teapot with cat tea cosy and putting toast in my cat toast rack and having half an hour to myself before the DCs are up. It lifts my mood for the whole day. I've tweaked bedtimes and waking up times and the days feel much fuller now as we are ahead of schedule rather than running on catch up. It also means I have more evening and so more me time, which is making a huge difference to my mental state. I've also slashed the amount of time the tv is on, and have discovered by picking up a paper a few times a week and listening to radio 4 I can absorb non DC related knowledge and so have actual interesting things to talk about when I meet up with friends rather than droning on about the DCs.

And somehow I don't think I'd be doing all this if I hadn't been on this feline journey. Having cats has made me step back and reevaluate my life, I think because they made me feel better just enough that I could catch my breath and find the headspace to do that reevaluating. I can feel "me" coming back, I don't feel that my identity is defined by being a mum anymore which is something I've really struggled with as all my friends are just coming out of uni and at a completely different point in their lives.

Sorry to ramble on, but I'm quite pleased with myself!

I think when you have a noticeable nose, you should make a feature of it. It's there on your face and can't be disguised so I say pierce it. Besides which if you don't like it you can take it out and it'll heal, but mostly you only live once. If you want to do something then do it, otherwise you'll regret it. I did that with my hair. One day it was very very long brown hair, the next day I'd given myself a pixie cut and dyed it red. It's a bit longer now and a deeper red but I still love it, but crucially I'd always wanted to do things and been scared so held back and so always had what ifs and regrets. I much prefer life now where I just launch head first at things and hope for the best, it's exciting

It's sad about having to let the boys go but I think CPL are right and at least they have told you everything straight out so that you know at what point you would need to contact them in the future (although I hope you won't have to).

About the ginger boy - I would say take him, kittens are crazy anyway and if you have 2 they can be crazy together. And much much easier to introduce another cat now, compared to when Buttons is older. And ginger boy cats are so beautiful (I had one for 18 years who sadly died recently)

Glad to hear that Buttons is well and that such a little thing as having a cat/cats has made such a huge difference to your life

Update! First off, lady was confused on phone and little Ginger Boy is actually little black boy! Second of all, I'm a complete soft touch and have seen him, fallen in love and am collecting tomorrow . He was the smallest of the litter so is little like Buttons, very playful and very very inquisitive. They were going to wait to home him but he's just stuck in a cage at the rescue as they have a LOT of kittens and cats and just can't give them all the attention they need. They've been getting him out regularly and giving him lots of love but can't watch him constantly so he gets put back in the cage thingy. So I said I'd take him ASAP and she's just called back and said they'd chatted to their vet and as he's weaned, using litter and had flea and worm treatments they think he'd be happier coming home sooner rather than later!

Sqeeee! I'm going to have a little pair of dark kitties bouncing round my living room tomorrow. I need to work out the logistics. I'm going to have to drop DD at nursery, nip into town to get money for taxi, bus to shelter, collect kitten, taxi home, lunch and then back out to collect DD from nursery (on another bus). Will be worth it though!

I'm excited for you! Waiting for pictures!

Oh man, I've just come upstairs. There's a cat in my bedroom and it ain't Buttons. Wonder how long he's been there??

My post got lost - I posted after you first posted about gingerboy, but it's gone!! Oh well...

Happy birthday, though belated.

Is there anyone at nursery who could collect dd and drop her off home for you?

Is that one of the boys Shadow?

I'm really glad to hear things are working out for you and that the boys next door are fine!!

One small thing but I often see my cat over at my neighbours looking for food. I have no idea why. I feed him, he likes the food I give him but he still heads over there. I just wanted to mention it because the kittens next door might be being fed fine and just being cheeky asking you for more food.

Oh no Jux, that's strange!

I don't know anyone at nursery yet, she's only done a few days so far and most of the children seem to do full days so I only see them briefly in the morning. It'll be ok, good practice for next week when both me and DS have hospital appointments which will mean huge amounts of toing and froing as hospital is in different town to the nursery.

What I need really, is to learn to drive overnight and wake up to a surprise car outside my house!

Wow, can't wait to see pics of the new boy. How exciting!

Well Merlin cleared off when it became clear I wasn't going to feed him, neither boy came back.

Buttons has got a lovely new thing of climbing onto my shoulder and falling asleep curled round my neck like a big scarf. She's getting more and more affectionate all the time which is so so lovely. She won't sleep on my bed though even with encouragement. Think I need to get a hot water bottle and admit defeat

Should be collecting new boy around 10.30, DS and I will the stay at home for lunch and head out to collect DD at 1pm. So at some point in the afternoon I should manage to put pics up.

How lovely about the new kitty. Yes please we must have pics when you get time!

Cute pic of Merlin, although it must have been hard not to feed him & to see him go

Aww, Buttons sounds adorable! Where does she choose to sleep at night instead? Maybe im time you can convince her to come for cuddles! Or maybe New Kitten will!

It was hard timtam. And he was doing kittens style crying at me to try and get me to feed him. Poor boy.

Buttons choses to sleep in DDs car seat in the utility room. The sides of the seat come up so it sort of encloses her which I think she likes. New boy will be encouraged like mad to sleep on my bed! That's the point of cats isn't it; foot warmer?

Aaaah lovely!

Ooh weird pipbin and monkun I'm positive your posts weren't showing on the thread earlier, I just scrolled back and spotted them! Yes it was Merlin, that's twice he's got in via a means I can't work out! Maybe he's got a spare key :D.

We seem to be very cat overpopulated round here all of a sudden. There's a black cat in the garden who has been followed in by FIVE others I've never seen before. They're all sat about around the edge and black ones in the middle seemingly oblivious. Wtf is that all about??

Oh no it's an unneutered female isn't it? With a gang of toms following her?

Have just finished reading this thread from start to finish, and what a roller coaster. Without wanting to sound soppy, thank you shadows for looking out for the boys and everything else you have done for them. Without you, they would have been dead. Fact. No matter how much their owners look after them now they can never redeem themselves as far as I'm concerned. They left the boys to face a long, painful death. So huge well done to you

I love how you have transitioned into a cat person! Made me laugh as I was making my way through the thread. So pleased you will now have two little cats who are with you permanently, and yes rescuing is very addictive. I speak from 8 cats of experience.

I really hope the boys do eventually make their way back to you full time. It's clear how special they are to you and they deserve the guarantee of love and care you can offer them. They look so adorable in the photos.

Btw, neutered boys do still have their fluffy pom poms so the boys may or may not have been neutered yet. They shouldn't be/ have been allowed outside at all unneutered, not that their owners seem to give two hoots about their well being.

What a nice post to wake up to, thanks Tiptops. You are right is guess about the boys, and that they wouldn't be here if I hadn't rescued them, which makes it all harder to step back and let the neighbours make it or break it so to speak. I don't think the boys will like me very much at all after today when they see I've not just got one kitten, but two. It's such a shame because they are still so young and playful themselves, they could potentially have got on great together.

It's funny you mention about the becoming a cat person. My friend was round over the weekend and we were talking about this, she pointed out my African cats. I have two of those huge wooden floor standing cats that I got from a little African shop when I lived in Devon. Then she pointed out other bits and bobs. It seems I've always had lots of cat things around the house, which seems an odd choice for someone who couldn't be around them due to allergy. She thinks it's a bit woo and that I was always a cat person. She also thinks it hilarious I will have two black/almost black cats. As you know, I am no contact with my mum, but apparently she's heard on the grapevine that I've got a cat and that it's dark and so mums having kittens about it as when younger I had a phase where I was v interested in paganism and researched the history of witchcraft in this country - wrote an extensive essay about it. I write poetry which tends to be about "dark matter" and I wear a lot of black being slightly gothy/alternative. Well she's decided I'm becoming a witch , she's actually started calling up friends trying to persuade them to distance from me as I may put a hex on them

Love you becoming a witch! You sound a little like what my dd could be like when she's your age (she's 15, and has been a Pagan for 4 years, is a little bit goth - school uniform etc permitting - and one of our cats is black. Lots of her peers think she'll hex them!).

Good luck with all your travelling today, and with little non-gingerboy! He and Buttons will probably hiss at each other. I suspect Non-gingerboy will become top cat, as the males usually are, but they should settle down quickly enough into a normal cat relationship of scrapping/grooming each other.

Tips for breaking up a cat fight which you think may be going a bit far:

Stamp
Clap
Hiss
Shout (oi! is usually enough)

All can be done from your comfy chair and are very effective. No need to risk being scratched.

My experience of introducing new cats into an established cat's territory is to let them get on with it, subject to the above. Cuddle the new cat so they smell a bit of you and home. Transfer each cats' smell onto the other by stroking/cuddling each cat alternately. This will also get your smell onto them both and help with familiarity.

Interfering has led to forced cat relationships ime, but I know that nowadays people tend to do it differently.