Neighbours kittens

[ShadowsShadowsEverywhere]

We've recently had new neighbours move in next door. Towards the end of last week two kittens appeared in their garden, I'm not sure whether they'd just got them or had been keeping them inside for a few days.
One of the kittens kept popping its head over our fence and watching DCs playing.

Yesterday when I went to take the bins out the same kitten was sat on my path mewing. As soon as she saw the open door she was in the house. I ushered her out the back door, but she spent the rest of yesterday coming back in, or playing with the DCs toys in the garden. Every time something made her jump she ran to me and hid under my long skirt! By about 6.30 she was clearly hungry, had jumped up and eaten some scraps in my kitchen and drank DSs milk, so I shooed her back out the front door where I'd found her as she just didn't seem to want to go over the fence back to her own garden.

She was v v thin and seemed confused about where home was. Yesterday she was coming in the windows from the garden and mewing a lot. What do I do if she comes back today? It's obviously more interesting here as neighbours are out most of the day and we are home from lunchtime onwards most days and have a garden full of toys and balls etc which she spent hours playing with yesterday. I'm worried about how thin she looked but don't know a lot about cats or kittens so don't know how normal that is. Any advice would be v much appreciated!

I can't work out how he got in, I can't see Tortie anywhere and am suddenly trying to deal with Merlin being all territorial and poor Buttons being petrified. They are hissing at each other. Wtf do I do? ATM I'm putting myself between them and stroking them both and when they relax slightly they get a treat. It's the only thing I could think of, but I can't keep giving treats. How the fuck do I handle this!

Oh bollocks.

Ok, I'd seperate them. It'll be stressing buttons out.

Is he hungry?.

Ok, I've only just seen the displays. They seem to he ok now? I fed them both, in separate bowls, and when Merlin got all territorial and wanted the bowl I moved him away and stroked Buttons. They ate and then Merlin wandered about and buttons followed him. They had a stand off and both went from hissing to relaxed and then sniffed noses. Now she's trailing after him and being very playful. Is that good?

Displays should read replies. Bloody autocorrect!

Yes. But neither have had jabs have they?.

Oh wow. Merlin's gone out the window to play in garden and Buttons is playing in the middle of the room, DS went up to her and she stood her ground, first time ever that she hasn't run for cover at sigh of small stampy animal grabber! Maybe seeing us with another cat has reassured her that we aren't something to be wary of of? Far more playful with me and tolerating a lot more contact. Weird!

Whenever I have intervened in cat precedence it has made things worse. Merlin will automatically take precedence over Buttons because he's a male anyway - even if he's neutered now (is he?). Furthermore, she is younger and so will not be top cat.

You have to decide whether this is the boys' home or not, and if not, then shut him out now. Take him back next door.

I don't know. I assume not. Oh no, does that mean I need to separate them? Merlin's whole back smells of flea stuff so maybe that's why they were kept in? Maybe they've done the whole flea, worm, jab thing?

Otherwise, I was going to say, let them get on with it and they will sort themselves out. There's always a bit of hissing and posturing, but very little harm, especially if there is a clear hierarchy anyway.

I jus can't believe it. She's following me about and putting her paw on my leg, she's now playing with DD, proper bounding after toys out in the open playing, she's not holding back at all like she was before! Merlin's gone from the garden and house.

If he comes back and they seem to be getting on is that ok, or do I still need to shut the boys out? I assume people that buy cats don't always get them all at the same time? Just before he went back out they were playing with a stick together.

I think the main thing is neutering, worms & fleas. Might be an idea to pop round and ask the neighbours. Just say you have no problem with the boys, but as you have a new kitten you just want to ask if they have sorted them out? Or words to that effect :)

I am just so happy Merlin came to visit. Buttons seems to be holding her own just fine.

She was and then Tortie rocked up. Not only did he hiss at and stalk Buttons but he then hissed at and tried to bite me. I assume I smelt of Buttons when I went to stroke him. His reaction set Merlin off yowling and hissing so I've shut them out. I'm feeling awful because obv I started this thread because of the boys and if they hadn't got shut in by neighbours they'd still be here. But they have grown, they are three times the size of Buttons and there are two of them. She's tiny, been here 2 days and isn't going anywhere so I've put her first.

Boys both bigger and fatter so that's good, they're definitely being fed. But I think this means that my journey with the boys may be coming to an end. Buttons needs me more now, the Boys seem to be doing just fine next door and have voluntarily gone back over the fence and home.

They must like you though, they wouldn't have come back otherwise.

I am a bit surprised at their reaction to Buttons, usually kittens are tolerated as harmless by older cats but I wonder if they're too close in age for that. It'll work itself out in time.

It's kind of great that you've seen the boys well and happy today and not before Buttons arrived. You can now relax and know they are being looked after satisfactorily without feeling torn between keeping them at yours and letting them go back. They have their home and Buttons has hers. They couldn't have timed it better!

I'd probably stop offering them food inside your house if I were you, or they'll treat your house as theirs and Button's dinner as their second helpings. The next thing you'll know is they'll be bullying her and making her life a misery. Cats really need to have a place they know is safe away from big scary neighbourhood toms. You could still keep an eye out for them and slip them a crafty dinner in the garden if they look a bit hungry.

The magnetic catflaps (cat wears a magic key so only they can get in) are good if you have this problem.

I think their reaction is probably a combination of them being unneutered and young still. And I think they do like me yes, but once they'd realised that I wasn't going to let them bully Buttons and that I was going to stroke her and cuddle her while they hissed at her they wouldn't come to me, Tortie then did the hiss and tried to bite and they ran off. They didn't even try and come back in after that.

betty is right though, I've seen them healthy and happy. They are honestly bordering on chunky now, properly fed, healthy growing cats. They have got a lot bigger since those kittens that first came in, and are big enough to look after themselves a lot more now. Neighbours have shut them in tonight so it seems they are getting the hang of this cat owning thing, maybe they did find the thread!

I will happily play with them in the garden if they come by, and I will feed them if they look thin again, but yes, I don't want them eating Buttons food and making her feel her home isn't hers. Besides which I can't police three hissing cats, one grabby toddler and one hysterical "save buttons mummeeee" 3yo. It took me an hour to make two drinks of squash and toast 3 crumpets at tea tonight because I had to keep diving between combinations of fighting children and cats. If they all got on it'd be fine, but when they don't DD goes wading in all dramatic and upset, DS goes crazy trying to hiss like them and it's very quickly carnage!

I can imagine your household during the melee. But now I see that the boys are okay. We don't have to worry about them anymore.

They're just shocked you got another cat! Buttons will grow. Female cats can be very feisty.

I still think they luffs you & wouldn't have left voluntarily. The question is, what happens next time they go away?.

No they definitely wouldn't have left voluntarily, and if next door hadn't got them back they'd still be here and I wouldn't have Buttons. But they did go back to neighbours, and I did get Buttons. If over the next few months they make friends with Buttons, aren't being looked after next door and want to move back in then of course they are always loved and always wanted. I had a lovely cuddle with them both when they first came in, Merlin put his soggy paws on my shoulders and rubbed his face on mine. They are v v special to me.

BUT Buttons has been here one night so far. She's literally just moved in. And the Boys were scaring her. So for now, they go home. If they start coming round a lot and it becomes clear that they need me again then I will look into what I can do to help them all make friends, I will not under any circumstances turn them away if they need me. I could never do that. I just think for now, they're getting everything they need next door and are happy to be there. Doesn't mean I've forgotten everything neighbours did and I don't think they deserve the boys, but right now they're doing right by them, so I don't see that I should go wading in, especially with a newly moved in kitten.

And it was honestly carnage. I've got a broken vase, and hamster bedding all over the floor. The cats were sort if circling each other hissing, DS was rampaging around the edge emitting a high pitched shriekey noise. This freaked out the hamster who started kicking her bedding out the bars of the cage. The shrieking noise set the chickens off chuntering to each other. DD was having a monologue style tantrum about saving "poor baby buttons", she kept trying to get inbetween the cats, DS then grabbed ones tail so got scratched. It was honestly ridiculous. I was dashing from kitchen and back again trying to keep track of 5 unpredictable small things and stop crumpets from burning. I was at exploding into shouty mum stage when I got the hyserical giggles. It's not an experience I want to repeat too regularly.

The positives are that we know the boys are ok, they're obviously going to be around again from now on, and because of the chickens and veggie patch we are outside for several hours every day regardless of weather so we will be able to keep a good eye on them. And as Buttons settles in, if she is asleep upstairs every morning for eg, then I can shut the door and let boys in for a bit. Or we see them outside and don't let them in. It's just going to have to be more controlled for now.

It's unlikely they will go away again any time soon, he's due to be deployed soon. .

Hope little Buttons has recovered all right from the shock - how is she now they've been gone for a while?

It's really interesting what you all said about allergies and cats. My husband is allergic to his parent's cats now but wasn't growing up.

I'd love to 'test' having a cat but it's a bit hard to do. Maybe when my kids are older it's something I could look into properly.

Shadows - I love your depiction of the "five unpredictable small things" . It must have been really stressful, but it's very funny to read about it. It's good that your boys are happy and healthy and that they haven't forgotten you. And Buttons is very lucky to have you.

It is a bittersweet happy ending.

As you say, I think you have little choice but to shut the boys out now. Buttons is getting established in her territory and on the bright side it does seem as if the neighbours (at last) are looking after the boys properly so the concerns are less. Hopefully they will keep popping over to see you in the garden and hopefully the neighbours will get them neutered!

The photos of Buttons are lovely

You'll probably have to upgrade your cat flap to one that only Buttons can use - a magnetic one or more expensive microchip one.