Four weeks

[givemushypeasachance]

Is how long I've had my boys, but it seems like forever! This time last month they were shut in my spare room hiding behind a shelf, and I'd been soundly growled at by Monty whenever I dared to look in his direction. At times it's seemed like I'd never get much further with him - despite the more gregarious Rolo coming out for strokes and affection the next day, Monty was still happiest when I was ignoring him. He warmed to playtime and gradually started to accept treats from my hand, but still shied away if I ever tried to touch him. He got bolder about sleeping out on windowsills and lounging around liked he owned the place - but for all the seeing Rolo rubbing around my ankles, Monty would just give my offered hand a sniff and back away.

Then when I experimented in letting them outside three weeks in, he seemed to prefer a semi-feral existence in the garden and refused to come back in for 36 hours. At that point I was seriously questioning whether he'd ever consider me as anything but a source of food and provider of toys, but with both cats relegated to being kept in again this past week I intensified my efforts to convince him I'm not horrible. Regular offering of Dreamies as hand-fed treats, keeping up a routine with wet food meals and staying nearby or even holding my hand next to Monty while he's eating, lots of playtime and offering of my hand to sniff. I've also recently tried sitting on the floor and offering chicken as a treat but he has to come and put his front paws up on my leg to reach it.

Well today, four weeks on, we've hit a milestone. I got a proper stroke (and not just a light fur-skim) in while he was playing with a fishing toy. And he didn't completely freak out and break off to back away like he used to. Then - even more amazingly - I got a good twenty seconds of light stroking in while he was eating his evening wet food. He didn't seem overjoyed and purring, but aside from a bit of squirming there wasn't a huge protest either. It may not seem like anything much, but I honestly couldn't stop beaming while it was happening! I hope that this is the start of the thawing of the me-and-Monty relationship and that there's much more where that came from in our future.

(Just don't tell him & Rolo that in the next couple of weeks we're going to have to make an inaugural trip to the v-e-t-s...)

Good to hear. You were almost a little despondent at times and it's amazing how much difference a pretty small improvement can make.

It's amazing how rewarding cat/human relationships are, isn't it?

Your unconditional love and perseverance is working!

They do make you work for it mind, but that is one of the things I love about cats. You know you really deserve their love when they deign to give it! I'm glad your cats have found such a lovely guardian.

I'm still on a bit of a post-stroking high, but it's all kitten baby steps really. When I tried to repeat the trick this morning I was just hissed at! Well it is Monday morning, who's really in the mood for strokes...

Yeah cozietoesie certainly around the time it was looking like Monty might become the reclusive troll cat that lives under my decking I was getting a bit down about it all. And I have tried not to take the shunning personally - I'm sure it's based on his understandable anxiety rather than deliberately giving me the cold shoulder, but hopefully one day he'll learn just how pleasant it can be coming for cuddles.

He'll work out, just you see.

On the vet issue, I recall that Seniorboy had a vet phobia when he came to me - he'd only been about twice in 13 years (including neutering) - so I treated it in a pretty brusque and businesslike fashion. No love words or treats just oops-a-daisy and into his box, ignoring the yowls. (Although I apologized to the taxi driver for the noise that first time.)

Each successive time has become easier. Going there is not his favourite thing, granted, but he's now learned that after the vet he comes home again! And that's when he has his treats and cuddles.

I guess that Monty will be a little apprehensive during the visit but I suspect that his history will make him wonder that first time whether he's to be abandoned again. I'd harden your heart and wait for the return to your home - that should be when he relaxes again; and properly this time.

Yes I anticipate vet funtimes! Monty came from the sanctuary in a top-loading carrier as they said that was easier for timid cats so it'll either be an attempt to scoop him up and drop him in that or I'll see if I can't persuade him to walk into the bigger front-loading one for some chicken. Rolo shouldn't be a problem. My local vets is thankfully only a couple of minutes drive away and it'll just be a flying visit to get them registered, briefly checked over and arrange a prescription for flea/worming which they need to have done again early in August. They're all up to date on jabs till January so at least there won't be that indignation as well...

I remember my parents' cats were always so difficult to get in their boxes at home but then needed to be almost literally dragged out at the vets, poor things! But I'm sure the vets are more used to handling reluctant feline patients than I am; I'll just have the grumpy fallout back home. Hopefully if we can get it done quickly and with as little fuss as possible it won't set back the gaining his trust process too much.

I'd recommend trying to avoid luring him with a chicken treat if you possibly can (you may have to after all) in case he, thereafter, associates a treat with 'Mum's Forked Tongue'. It's a piece of business to be got through is all.

(Might also be a good idea to warn the vet that you have a possibly timid/difficult one when making the appointment. They're pretty good at dealing with recalcitrant patients but at least they'll know to close the surgery windows in advance!)

Hmm okay. Will attempt the non-bribery route first! I've kept their travel boxes out in the living room the whole time to try to get them used to them being around, but they don't hang out in them. I've just never tried grabbing Monty before (if he doesn't like me even putting my hand near him I've assumed picking him up would not be welcome!) so it's a completely foreign concept at this point...

I seem to recall that one of the posters (Fluffy maybe?) has developed a technique for corralling their cat in a confined space so they may see this thread and comment.

Good luck anyway.