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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

How will I know when it's time to let her go?

46 replies

JamForTea · 16/07/2014 22:33

My cat is nearly 14. About a month ago she was diagnosed with spinal arthritis but blood tests also showed up abnormal liver results - they were described to me as not hugely out of normal range but definitely not right. Since then she has become very picky with food and lost a lot of weight. She has metacam on and off. Since Sunday she has eaten very little and looks unhappy. I took her back to the vets and they repeated the blood tests which showed similar results. She is on metacam daily since Monday to rule out arthritic pain making her not want to eat. She is eating a little more but still far from what I would call a 'normal' amount. Throughout the day she goes from asking for food, meowing etc and is still affectionate, can jump up on beds. But she doesn't look 'right' - uncomfortable maybe, I don't quite know how to describe it. It seems to come and go a bit and at times she seems ok. I don't know what to do. She's going back to the vets on Monday so she can be weighed again. There has been talk of liver ultrasound but I don't know if I want to put her though stuff like that if the outcome is likely to be bad.

Can anyone offer advice. I lost my other cat almost exactly a year ago. I can't believe I'm here again, I thought I'd have her a bit longer.

OP posts:
chockbic · 18/07/2014 14:39

Oh that's so sweet.

Mine used to like sitting in plastic bags.

Itsfab · 18/07/2014 15:35

What a lovely cat.

I am so sorry you are going through this.

With FABCat everyone said I would know. I took her on the Tuesday as she had been making herself bleed more and more but after telling me I had to take her in as soon as she did, and telling me both times she was fine I didn't take her in but made a note. It was time and she was booked in to be PTS on the Thursday. On the Wednesday night she toileted in the downstairs loo for the first time and started to look uncomfortable. It was bang on the right time but it was still horrible and it still is. Her pooing inside would have devastated her Sad.

I fished out GirlCat from a carrier this morning HmmGrin.

SecretWitch · 19/07/2014 01:04

Oh what a lovely girl! Secret and her cat's are sending love and good wishes..

ShitStickSugar · 19/07/2014 05:01

She is so pretty.

I lost my lad recently. He was a dog rather than a cat, but still.
When the time was near he ate what ever he wanted. Raw chicken, sausages, tuna, mince etc. I wanted him to be happy and enjoying his food.

We knew when he had enough. They stay so strong for you, we knew when our boy couldn't chase his ball then he was ready. He loved that smelly ball.

You too will know when your girl is ready. Lots of cuddles, and take lots of photos xx

JamForTea · 19/07/2014 09:48

Thanks. I think we are getting near to the time. She is back to not eating this morning. I have given her another steroid and will see if that kicks in. We've run out of tuna and the 'tastier' cat food so will get some more. I think it's going to have to be tomorrow at this rate rather than Monday. Dh and dd are away all day, dh not back til tomorrow. Is it selfish to keep her going until tomorrow so dd can say goodbye and dh is back so I don't have to do this in my own? I wanted a vet to come to the house but with it being the weekend I don't know if they'll come out Sad. I really didn't want her to have to go back to the vets. This is heartbreaking.

OP posts:
Itsfab · 19/07/2014 13:07

Some vets come out but tbh if it is time it is time and it wouldn't be fair to keep her going just to say goodbye. The cat's well being has to come first.

Sad.

chockbic · 19/07/2014 13:27

It is heartbreaking, you will be doing the best for her.

timtam23 · 19/07/2014 22:21

Jam she is beautiful

Really sorry you're having to make this decision

Within the last year I have had to have my 2 old cats put to sleep and it was such a hard thing to do

With the first cat it was a bit of a dash to the vet but the second time round we knew it was coming and at first I thought I would ask the vet to come to the house & have it done at home. But in the end I took him to the vet too, I decided it would be really hard to sit at home waiting for the vet to come and also I didn't want to have to watch the vet taking his body away afterwards. I also wasn't sure about whether I wanted to look at my sofa and every time think that the cat had been put to sleep there.
My vet surgery was really nice and booked us in for the earliest surgery, I wa able to go straight into a room to wait for the vet and right away I took the cat out of his carrier and cuddled him, I was able to hold him while he was put to sleep and the vet left me with him afterwards for as long as I wanted. I really don't think he paid much attention to where he was at that stage and I was able to deal with it ok I think.

I do regret leaving my old girl just a bit too long and it was definitely easier on me afterwards to have taken a bit more control & planned it better for my old boy

I hope all goes as well as it could in a difficult situation

ShitStickSugar · 20/07/2014 23:40

With our boy it was a bit of a roller coaster. When we thought it was time, he would bounce back.

Our vets came to the house on a sunday evening. Do ask x

JamForTea · 21/07/2014 15:29

She's gone. The vet came out. She slept in our bed last night between dh and I all night. This morning she gave me a little lick (she used to love licking me but hasn't been recently) which I was so thankful for. We spent the morning in the sun in the garden with her. She ate a little and came to us on and off for affection. But she was obviously not right and getting worse.

She was rather feisty in the end and unfortunately had to be sedated to have the euthanasia drug administered. I took her up to our bedroom where she has always felt safe and comfortable. I'm so glad she was in her own home as it wasn't the smoothest of euthanasias if I'm completely honest. I'm trying to think it was only a few minutes out of her 14 year long happy life. I've already started to think I'm seeing her out of the corner of my eye - I know that will go on for a while...

Overall I think we did it at the right time for her. I will miss you so much my beautiful Belle.

OP posts:
chockbic · 21/07/2014 15:44

Glad you were able to give her a final special day

Sorry for the loss of your girl.

Itsfab · 21/07/2014 15:50
Flowers

I am sorry things weren't as smooth as you would have wanted. Full of personality to the end I would think. I understand the thinking you are seeing her out of the corner of your eye. I did that for a while after FABCat died and in the last few days I have wondered twice where she is Blush.. Cats get under your skin. Buggers.

JamForTea · 21/07/2014 16:13

Thank you both. It has been so helpful to post here. Yes the vet said that her final protest was an expression of 'her' rather than if we'd left it longer when there would be less of her left. I always knew she would be a tricky one in her last moments - I have the bitten finger to prove it! So it wasn't a nasty surprise. Her peaceful final last few hours and the love and attention she has received in the past days will more than make up for it. Thanks to all in the litter tray for your support and best wishes.

OP posts:
PenguindreamsofDraco · 21/07/2014 16:42

I'm so sorry. I'm going through the same dilemma at the moment and it sounds like you got the right time, if there is such a thing Flowers

ShitStickSugar · 21/07/2014 23:54

Im so sorry. Fiesty belle! What lovely memories you have.

At times like this you think to yourself, why on earth do we pur our selves through it! All the pain and heartache. In time you will be able to chuckle at the naughty or funny things she did.

SecretWitch · 22/07/2014 00:37

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet girl Flowers May your memories help heal your pain..xx Secret and her Cats...

PeresteckBalveda · 22/07/2014 09:15

So sorry to hear about Belle. Our little cat was pts last night at the vets as well. I kept dreaming she was on the bed last night. It's daft how many tears you can cry for a cat.

JamForTea · 22/07/2014 14:18

Thank you all. This is our first day without her. Kids seem to fine, obviously more resilient than me. I do keep thinking I see her or hear the bell on her collar tinkling. I just miss her so much. I know in the future I will always feel we did the very best for her - that's offering me a little bit of comfort just now but I know when my grief fades a little it will be more of a comfort - that and her very much loved life with us.

OP posts:
Itsfab · 22/07/2014 15:04

Penguin - I hope the decision is reached that is best for all of you.

Perest - so sorry for you.

DS2 cried the other day about FABCat and she died in May 2013. I feel horrible he is so upset but proud he cares. I think it is a good thing to have pets though not so great when you lose 3 in six months Sad.

PinkSparklyElephant · 22/07/2014 16:04

Jam and Perest I'm so sorry for both of you.

timtam23 · 22/07/2014 16:23

So sorry Thanks RIP beautiful cat

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