How do you know when it's time for vet to put to sleep?

[IsItMeOr]

Hi there, our 21 year old cat has had kidney failure and thyroid problems for more than a year now. She will be okay for a while and then have a crisis. During the most recent one her weight dropped from 2.5kg to 2kg in a month, and she ended up in the pet hospital on a drip for 48 hours to rehydrate her.

She has been home again for a week and a half since then, and is gradually showing signs of getting her strength back - she was incredibly frail looking and wobbly when she first came home. I think she is gaining a tiny bit of weight (being checked again tomorrow).

To be honest, DH and I didn't think she was going to make it when she went into the hospital. It was lovely to get her home again, although the number of medicines - 7 - she was initially on was a bit overwhelming. The vet is talking about us doing some sort of drip at home with her, but we aren't confident about doing that.

Until now, we have never had any doubts that she is happy and has a good quality of life. But DH and I are both beginning to have doubts, as she really hates the medicine regime - basically hates being interfered with in any way, and is not a cat who likes to be held at all.

Please does anybody with more experience (she is our first cat, and has been with us for 16 years) have some wisdom to help us navigate this stage of her life?

I was given the wise words, when deciding if the time was right for our old Tom, that it was better to be two weeks too early than one week too late.

If you think she is suffering, then probably best to make the decision.

Hard as it is.

You are in the phase where there is no wrong time, just the time that is right for you. You can make a plan rather than a rushed decision in a crisis.

Thank you everyone - that helps (although it made me tear up!).

Lonecat is it because of the specific condition she has that you say that?

Ive never had to make that horrible choice, but I guess for me the decider would be "is she suffering more than she's happy?" Which obviously nobody can really know, but you as her slave owner will know better than anyone.
21 is an amazing age, by the way!

I went through this with OldCat. Two years of medicine and bringing him back from the brink several times. He recovered from each crisis but as a weaker cat with less quality of life. I found it incredibly difficult to judge when to stop the treatment because just as I thought his life was too miserable he would have a good day sleeping in the sun etc. etc. and of course I did not want to lose him.

In the end a vet advised me to identify the 'unacceptable' from the cat's point of view, e.g. if the cat finds it traumatic to be given medicine or is violently sick several times a day, then the few hours of quality life in the sun are probably not enough to compensate for the overall misery of life.

But it is a horribly difficult decision, in the end I had OldCat put to sleep when he collapsed yet again even though the vet (another vet) advised trying to put him on a drip 'to see whether he would pull through.' By then I felt that his quality of life was so poor that it would only prolong his misery to continue treatment, but I had to argue my case and I still have moments where I think that I might have done it too soon.

Sorry you are having to make the decision even isit. I had a similar thread here last year when my d boy was deteriorating. In the end he did pass at home about 10 days later but I still wonder if I was selfish in taking him home and if those 10 days he was suffering. I hope not.

The decision is hard, but only you know if it is causing more pain than comfort.

Sorry again. It's very tough.

Isitme she just sounds like she is fading and having seen hundreds of these cats over the years the pattern is obvious.

Thanks again, everybody. This is really helpful info, especially hearing about your experiences.

Wry smile at the sleeping in the sun reference - that has been her MO for the past 10+ years, and I'm pretty sure is the secret to her long life.

I think you are helping me to see that she may well bounce back from this latest bout, but that it is probably the last crisis she will survive - and obviously we will be keeping a close eye on her anyway.

We had been getting daily use out of our carpet spot cleaner for vomiting in the run up to this latest crisis, but she didn't seem particularly bothered by it.

Her fur has gone all clumpy over the past few months. And she has started falling off the back of the sofa (onto the soft seat) when she's asleep. But she still comes to investigate what we're up to, and for a bit of fuss.

I wouldn't ever beat yourself up about that one mynameisred. In the event, I had the decision taken out of my hands with Darling Twoago but I wish I'd had the courage to make it a week or two before he died.

I didn't, though, and so be it. I can at least try to make better decisions from now on and in particular for Darling Seniorboy who is - as Lone said about Isitme's cat - fading. He's still a happy lad, enjoying his sunshine, treats and grooms and sleeping purring with me at night - but he's not the cat he was even six months ago.

It's very hard.

thanks coezietoesie it's very sweet of you to say so. It's just such a hard decision and somehow I think it is only natural that you keep doubting whether you got it right.

IsItMeOr enjoy every moment you still have with your cat, she sounds lovely.

IsItMeOr - so sorry to hear about your cat. Only you can make the decision but I think at 21, with significant illness, there comes a point when there is a limit to what can be done. I have been through this very recently with my two 18 year old cats. My vet talked about quality of life - is the cat continent, eating/drinking, able to potter around, come for a pat/stroke? If yes, then probably ok to carry on. If no - things may not be so good for the cat and need to step back and think about whether to carry on & how much it is really worth putting the cat through.

I had both my cats put to sleep but with hindsight the first cat was left just a little too long and it would have been less traumatic to have made the decision a day or two earlier (I ended up ringing the vet in tears one monday morning as soon as they opened and having to rush her down before surgery started - she had stopped eating/drinking the previous evening and I had had a horrible night worrying about her & knowing she was dying)

With the second cat we could see the final decline coming and we had him put to sleep before any real distress could build up for either him or us. He was still managing to eat & drink but it was only a matter of time before this would become a struggle. We had given him a weekend in the sun with lots of love & strokes & it felt much more calm & controlled, I had booked the appointment 24 hours in advance & was able to hold and stroke him as he had the injection. It went as well as it could have done under the circumstances.

With the second cat we had also decided not to do anything invasive, no blood tests, drips etc and to keep any trips to the vet to the minimum as he got quite distressed. In his final fortnight the most that we gave the cat was steroids (initially injections, then tablets which could be crushed & put in his food - he had a tumour in his mouth and it temporarily eased swelling so that he could eat & drink ok for a bit longer)
My vet was really kind and completely in agreement that palliative/symptomatic care was the kindest & the only option.

Good luck with your decision

Your cat has no affairs to put in order. No goodbyes to make. NO regrets. No fears.

I would always err on too soon rather than too late. Better a few days less in the sun than a few days of suffering that could've been avoided.

I think it is us that we keep them going for often, we want to enjoy their amazing company but it is the last gift we can give them, a pain free end to this chapter of life.

Just because medicine can keep them functioning doesn't mean it always keeps them well. Humans, we have complex minds, relationships and thoughts to sort and we understand more what's happening. Cats, they just ARE.

I am sure you will make the right choices for your beloved cat.