Resident cat, new kitten issues - need some reassurance...

[patienceisvirtuous]

So, we got a 9 week old kitten on Friday (he's a lovely little thing) but our 2yo (female) pfc hates him.

We have been trying to do everything 'right'. We are keeping him separated (he has a puppy pen in the kitchen and everything he needs). We have been exchanging scents. Giving resident cat lots of attention and treats.

Their contact has been as follows:
We made a mistake first off (and I hope this hasn't ruined everything) by letting her go up to cat carrier. She immediately swiped, hissed like mad and growled.
Then ran off.

She started off hiding under bed but us doing that less now. We have been leaving her little snacks nr the kitchen door which she will now go and have. I have even left door open so she can see him in his pen. All fine (she's on high alert then tho).

However, on a couple of occasions we have taken him into living room while she has been snoozing on chair so he can play on rug. She hisses and growls still but looks in 'attack" mode. I wouldn't dare let him explore in case she attacks him and hurts him.

Am starting to wonder if she will ever accept him/not be in attack mode in his presence. I would hate to have to take him back to the shelter.

Any advice? Do we keep on with what we're doing? Will there be a point where it's safe for them to have contact?

She is such a lovely natured cat but I just don't trust her around him (yet).

It's early days yet so so don't despair because it actually sounds as if she's starting to adjust.

When you say in 'attack mode', what is her body language like?

Oh - and what is the kitten's reaction to her?

Well the positives are that she doesn't seem phased by his scent now. I can stroke him then her and she barely reacts - she was hissing like mad to start. Also she played with her da bird toy for a while and ignored the fact he was a couple of feet away.

I think she is frightened cos retreats a lot.

But in terms of her body language. Evil eyes :) and slow flicking tail, ears back sometimes.

He seems ok but DP said his heart was racing when he picked him up. He doesn't try to get away from her tho. Poor little mite.

I feel bloody wretched - like I have ruined her nice little life and brought an innocent kitten into somewhere he isn't wanted :(

Can it start off like this and end well do you think? I have ordered some Feliway btw.

We added two male kittens to our family of two grumpy old ladies. It took a few months before the girls relaxed and stopped swatting at the boys. Now the oldest female regularly grooms the boys. Just be patient.

I think it sounds....not too bad. While I wouldn't leave them alone together yet, I think you have grounds for persevering, making sure that she always has a good line of retreat to a safe place if she becomes fed up.

One of the problems might be that every time she see the kitten, he's always awake and 'full on' I suspect? (Imagine having a nice quiet, ordered, life and suddenly there's an ever-present and wakeful toddler around.) Maybe if the kitten is allowed to be around more and she sees him flat out and sleeping it will help?

I think I'd keep on going myself and even allow him to explore more. If she gives him the odd (closed claw) biff if he gets too much for her, the kitten likely won't take it amiss - it's what kittens get from adult cats to teach them to mind and as long as it's only 'testy' and exasperated, it's not too bad.

Has she a high place to go to from where she might watch him cavorting but still be relatively safe?

When we introduced a kitten to a 2 year old it took about 3 weeks. I was very nervous that cat would fight and therefore hurt kitten but looking back I think she sensed that the kitten was weak and was never going to get very physical. Kitten was also wary of cat and would watch her from a distance.

If I were you I would remove the kitten from the pen, let her explore and monitor the cat's reaction. Any hissing or swiping, although upsetting to see, might just be the cat showing her authority rather than intent to attack.

I agree that it would be ideal for the cat to have access to a viewpoint where she can observe the kitten. Also allow the cat to be able to go to somewhere the kitten isn't allowed yet, maybe the garden.

Good luck.

Well, we have moved her cat tree to our room as she won't venture down hall (near kitchen where he is).

I took him in our room to play on the bed while she watched on from up high. She seemed hyper alert and didn't take her eyes of him - and only one little hiss. Seemed to relax a tiny bit after a while and at one point started slowly creep onto edge of bed - dunno if that was curiosity or to attack?! - then changed her mind and went under it.

He was just enjoying himself biting a toy mouse, oblivious.

Just keep doing more of the same? I didn't dare let him venture in case she attacks. Am worried re her claws

I suppose at some point will just have to see what happens while ready to intervene.

Why did I think this was a good idea?!

Is it likely she'd approach to attack do you think?

I very much doubt it - he's only a kitten and she's probably wanting to see what he's playing with. She's only young after all.

If she's relaxing a little after a bit then that's a good sign, I think, so the high place to sit and watch him is a good idea.

I'd keep on as you're doing - it sounds productive.

PS - in my experience, if a cat is going to attack then there's a build up which you'd see from noise and body language. (Unless they're cornered by an adversary when they might flash to get out of the situation - but she's not being cornered.)

I really don't think that her behaviour sounds aggressive - maybe a little nervy and apprehensive but that likely means she just needs to get used to him. It's quite a big change for her.

Thanks. We will. We love him already so we're desperate for it to work.

We'll keep plugging away with the slowly but surely approach.

What would a pre-attack look like? Just for reference? :)

My oldest lady doesn't like to be bothered by other animals. She likes to sleep on a knee in her own personal space.

She is one of 4.

When feral kitten arrived she did some hissing, walking away etc? Now she will tolerate feral in the same room, but if feral comes too close she will hiss, if feral tries to play with her she will bop feral on the head and growl, feral has learnt to only play with giantboy and to leave her royal fatness well alone

It'll be slow gong but will be fine

I sympatise. i felt so guilty when I introduced cats and dog to my happily PFC.

Old boy was not impressed at all with kitten trying to befriend him: hissing, moving away, growling, attacking when she didn't get it.

They are not best friends but they can sleep on the same bed, not touching, they can play, eat together and sit on my side. It took a while. Unless she moves out or is poorly I' ll let them be, provided she has a space where to retreat and feel kitten free.

I should add, she's indoor, so can't leave or go in garden. Quite a bit of space though. And lots of beds/scratch posts/toys plus separate eating and litter areas for both...

I think it will probably be ok, a few days is no time at all & it sounds as if you are taking it quite slowly which is good.

My hand was forced last year when I took in a tiny stray kitten & already had 2 very old cats aged 18 & 17 who were not best pleased to have a kitten around (it became even less fun once he got to about 10 weeks old & started playfighting). We have a mostly open plan house and couldn't start closing doors etc as one of the old cats was blind and we had to keep the layout the same around the house for his sake.

There was lots of hissing & biffing but nothing too major & it did settle down. My old boy cat & the kitten actually became quite friendly & would curl up together (mostly instigated by the kitten but certainly tolerated by the old cat)

......Also she played with her da bird toy for a while and ignored the fact he was a couple of feet away......

I think that that's quite telling. No cat plays games happily when they have an enemy close by. She's likely just a bit tetchy at having her routine upset.

I introduced our new kitten to our three and a half year old boy two weeks ago. At first, older boy was quite hostile/nervy around new kitten. Lots of hissing etc. Now, they have a rough and tumble together, meow sweetly to one another and if kitten is asleep for a long time, the older boy noses him to make sure he is OK. Not to say there isn't the odd squawk/hiss now and again when boundaries get pushed.

I felt a bit despondent for a while because they weren't best friends right away, but now they seem to becoming very fond of each other.

I introduced my new 1.5 year old female cat to my 14 year old male cat when his companion died, and they were "enemies" for at least six weeks. I wondered what I had done - he would run past the door where she was kept whereas he used to like that area, they would hiss and growl at each other when meeting, etc. Then they reluctantly sat beside each other one day to look out of the door... a momentous occasion... and now (2.5 years later) they follow each other around, sleep beside each other, groom each other, etc., etc. They can still be "wary" of each other but get along very well, for cats. It just takes a lot of time, a lot of patience, and very gradual exposure to each other. Make sure they continue to have separate spaces for a while and continue to allow your cat to smell the kitten's scent (on you/a blanket/whatever). It actually sounds like things are going well, considering your cat will tolerate the kitten in her presence so soon into this whole process!

Update. They are happily playing together now :o

Great stuff! (But where's the photo?)

They are so funny together :o

They look fine together. (And her body posture is nice and relaxed.)

Well done for persevering.

They have been having lots of fun chasing each other. No aggression. Then lying near each other relaxed. A few gentle bops each but still, looks more like play.

From their body language they seem to be really enjoying themselves. Kitten has no fear and resident cat grooming herself and looking chilled in his presence. A week of hard work - not too bad! !

They have been having lots of fun chasing each other. No aggression. Then lying near each other relaxed. A few gentle bops each but still, looks more like play.

From their body language they seem to be really enjoying themselves. Kitten has no fear and resident cat grooming herself and looking chilled in his presence. A week of hard work - not too bad! !

Oh so quiet :)