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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Bullying Cat

12 replies

MinesaBottle · 26/03/2014 23:50

We've had our wee cat for about 3 months now, he was a rescue and we got him when he was about four months old. He's a lovely natured boy and has settled in really well!

Now that he's had his vaccinations and been neutered we'd like to start letting him out during the day. I'm aware he's still really young but he's shown some interest in the garden. All the local cats (including some I've never seen before!) have been by to check him out through the glass (we have French doors) and they all seem interested rather than aggressive. Except one.

This cat (who I shall call Arsehole for his own protection) lives a few doors down and like a few of the other local cats, he passes through our garden on his rounds. Before we got our boy, he came in a couple of times when the doors were open; didn't stay long and although friendly enough didn't seem to regard our living room as his territory.

Now that we've got our puss, Arsehole often turns up, comes to the window and stands there moaning and yowling at our kitten ,who generally stands his ground and stares back, as this side of the glass is his patch after all). Once or twice Arsehole has actually lunged at the glass! I don't know if he's neutered or not; he is quite big but doesn't have scars or scruffiness that you associate with toms. I've seen him chasing other cats so I reckon he's a bit of a bully.

Anyway, if you've read this far, I want to let our cat out but I'm nervous that Arsehole will attack him. He's a lot bigger so would definitely be able to kill him if he wanted. We've tried chasing him off, water etc but he still comes back every few days. I don't know who his owner is; he's probably a big marshmallow at home anyway!

Should I wait till our cat is bigger before letting him out? I know our garden isn't automatically his territory but I don't want him to be afraid to step out the door.

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TamzinGrey · 27/03/2014 00:26

How is he getting into your garden? We had a similar problem and managed to banish our nasty bully by attaching mesh panels to the fence that he used to climb over, and buying a spiky collar thing to fix round the trunk of his alternative tree route. He occasionally used to hang onto his side of the fence and glare menacingly through the mesh, but a well aimed water pistol soon put paid to that.

I hate bullies.

fackinell · 27/03/2014 01:49

I'd wait another couple of months, personally. I waited until mine was 6mths and then went out with him a few times. If Arsehole comes near him aggressively, clap your hands loudly and he should run off.

MinesaBottle · 27/03/2014 11:43

The fences are quite high but I like the mesh idea - think I'll give that a go and see if it helps. I don't think we'll let ours out for another month at least - by then he'll be about 8 months and a little bigger. Watching him playing at he moment is reminding me just how kittenish he still is!

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Fluffycloudland77 · 27/03/2014 13:38

He doesn't look like this does he?

Bullying Cat
MinesaBottle · 27/03/2014 15:30

Hehe, no he doesn't! He is mostly white with a few black bits and not as good looking as yours Smile. I don't think he's that popular among the local cats as the tabby over the road can testify - saw him chasing the tabby one evening, tabby now has only one eye. Not saying the two incidents are connected or owt of course...

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Fluffycloudland77 · 27/03/2014 15:41

Phew! This means you are not my neighbour. That's the look he gives dh.

I think you need a sureflap microchip flap so mr marshmallow can't come in, mine will go into any cat flap if its open.

He sounds a strong willed territorial bugger so your cats going to fight with him eventually. Fights to the death are very rare, cats know when to run away.

MinesaBottle · 27/03/2014 16:01

I know there'll eventually be a clash, I just want my cat to grow a bit so he has a chance! When Arsehole comes to the window my cat makes little trilling sounds like he's trying to placate him (or possibly wind him up!) but I don't think there'll be any room for friendliness when they eventually meet. I'm going to have to start teaching him to stand up for himself

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cozietoesie · 27/03/2014 16:08

There is, of course, the argument that if your boy goes out when he's smaller, he'll cede superiority to the other cat - who will, thereafter, treat him with kindly condescension and ignore him?

MinesaBottle · 27/03/2014 16:40

That's a possibility I guess - what I'm worried about is that Arsehole will then claim our garden as his, so our cat will get stressed going out into another cat's territory. I know I can't control whose territory is whose but it would be nice for him to at least have the garden!

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MinesaBottle · 27/03/2014 16:41

Forgot to add, DH reckons Arsehole doesn't realise our cat's neutered and sees him as a threat - but surely a) he can still smell him at least a bit and b) our cat isn't quite sexually mature (or he wasn't when he was done, I guess he never will be?)

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cozietoesie · 27/03/2014 16:56

Maybe he thinks your boy is a girl? Or maybe he just wants to buddy up. Who can tell - but they don't think like us. If your boy reckons that outside is 'shared' territory, he might just accept that right off and not feel all bitter and twisted about it?

I don't know, I guess.

MinesaBottle · 27/03/2014 17:33

I guess we'll have to find out once he goes out! I'm hopeful they'll come to some sort of arrangement. It is a bit unnerving though, watching TV and suddenly this massive growling cat is launching himself at the window!!

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