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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Advice on choosing a new cat

29 replies

fairyfuckwings · 25/02/2014 10:59

We have a 13 year old tom. He was hand reared and is very friendly and loving. He's quite sociable for a cat really and doesn't mind the cats next door coming in.

We used to have another 2 female cats but they died quite a few years ago now.

We'd really like another kitten or young cat. I've seen a 4 month old tom in a nearby rescue. I was originally thinking a female would be best as that's what we had in the past and they all got on pretty well. Does anyone have experience of 2 toms in the same house? Would it be a problem?

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thecatneuterer · 25/02/2014 11:59

I've got about 14 toms in the same house Grin. They all get on fine (within the exception of one) and some have formed close friendships. The rescue should know how the cat you've seen feels about other cats, (as you obviously need one that appears to like rather than loathe other cats) so then it should just be a question of introducing them carefully, and being patient.

issey6cats · 25/02/2014 13:34

second what catneuterer has said i have three boys and one girl all different ages and the boys get on fine very little spatting its the girl who bosses everyone around the only thing you might get is the four month old may be a bit lively for a 13 year old if you take him on just make sure the older one has somewhere quiet to escape to, and the younger one being neutered early (if not done already) will calm him down and diffuse the testosterone fuelled i want to be top cat behaviour

Original poster
fairyfuckwings · 26/02/2014 08:30

Thanks for thst. 14? That's a lot of cats!

The kitten isn't neutered yet but I will get him done as soon as I can. My older one has the run of the house so he can go upstairs if he wants some peace. He doesn't go out so much anymore - only if it's warm and dry. So not very often!

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cozietoesie · 26/02/2014 08:34

TCN has 14 toms. She's got more than 14 in total. (She volunteers for a rescue.)

ThistledownAndCobweb · 26/02/2014 22:27

I've got two boys and two girls. The boys get on with everyone, the girls hate each other with a vengeance.

With regards to rescue I usually tell them my current situation and let them choose the cat for me.
DH says this may be why we usually end up with the ugly antisocial ones!

Original poster
fairyfuckwings · 27/02/2014 01:31

We're going to the rescue tomorrow. They've got kittens too that they don't advertise due to their own policy so we may end up with one of them. But I bet we don't! Unless the boy I've seen absolutely hates us upon sight and scratches our eyes out I really think we'll come home with him.

It's been very reassuring to hear that toms get on well. To be honest, having only had females in the past I took I lot of convincing to have the boy I've had for the last 13 years. He was found in a bin In London and my sister hand reared him (she was a vet nurse at the time). She twisted my arm to have him. I didn't really want him as I thought being a tom he wouldn't be affectionate. I couldn't have been more wrong! He really is an adorable cat. He does this thing every singlenight where he sleeps on every family members bed. So we all think he loves us most!

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Original poster
fairyfuckwings · 27/02/2014 01:32

That makes sense with tcn! Still a lot of cats though!

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Original poster
fairyfuckwings · 27/02/2014 01:42

I had 3 girls before and they were really close. They were a really tight gang. I think you have been given the antisocial ones thistle!

I'm not too bothered about pretty ones as to be honest the "prettiest" cat I ever had was very beautiful, very affectionate - but also very high maintenance. My favourite ever cat was a black and white cat. A bit stumpy looking and always a bit "ungainly" for a cat. She didn't like me at first but once I gained her trust (took years) she was just the best cat ever.

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Original poster
fairyfuckwings · 27/02/2014 01:50

On a side note - and I know I can ask a vet this but easier to ask here - is 6 months the best time to get a cat neutered?

Also, I've heard it's best to get a separate litter tray for each cat. Current old boy goes outside but I think if he had a nice convenient tray in a warm place he may well choose to go there instead. Particularly in inclement weather. How do you make each cat know which us "his"?

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thecatneuterer · 27/02/2014 02:29

We normally neuter at five months. We can do it at four, so it could be that the tom you're looking at will already be done.

And I don't think they need to have a particular litter tray each, it's just that it's good to have more than one as they don't like to use a dirty one, so if one has been used and you haven't had a chance to clean it there is always the other one.

Original poster
fairyfuckwings · 27/02/2014 02:34

Ah thanks - makes sense.

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Original poster
fairyfuckwings · 27/02/2014 02:34

Where are you based cn?

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cozietoesie · 27/02/2014 06:41

They seem to work it out among themselves if there's any divvying up of litter trays to be done. You just need to provide sufficient and keep them clean.

thecatneuterer · 27/02/2014 11:10

Fairy I'm with the Celia Hammond Animal Trust and we have clinics/rescue centres in East and South London.

Original poster
fairyfuckwings · 27/02/2014 18:39

Thanks for the advice. I didn't get a kitten after all. We got a lovely 3 year old Tom. He was the friendliest of all the cats there. He's massive but not as big as my other boy! He spent half an hour under the sofa in the kitchen when he first arrived but he seems a lot braver now. He's really affectionate and seems to like a lot of cuddles. I think he was someone's pet but he wasn't microchipped so he was sent for re homing.

He's met the other cat. They sniffed each other and then my other cat went upstairs. No hissing which was quite encouraging.

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cozietoesie · 27/02/2014 18:45

Aw that's good. Best of luck with the pair of them.

ThistledownAndCobweb · 27/02/2014 23:26

How lovely.
It sounds as if he's fallen on his feet now. Wishing you many happy years as his new slave Smile

Original poster
fairyfuckwings · 01/03/2014 00:40

I'm absolutely besotted. We kept the name he'd been given at the rescue because it's pretty much the most awesome name ever for a cat. It's Mr Pickles. He's been. Fantastic with my other cat - very friendly but submissive. The more I've got to know him the more I think someone's really missing him. He's very loving and really loves stroking. He seems to prefer the kids over adults - whilst he'll come to me for a stroke he's batted me away a few times - probably when he's fealt a bit threatened.

With the children though he seems a lot more realaxed. He follows them round and seems a lot more tolerant round them. And he's clearly used to better food! He barely touched the cat food (the same as hed had in therescue). I tried different cat food and he just wasn't interested. Yet the minute I brought out a can of sardines he seemed to know exactly what it was before I even opened it! He tucked in purring the whole time!

It's quite sad really because I'm sure he's someone's pampered kitty but there's no way he's ever going back because of the lack of a chip.

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Original poster
fairyfuckwings · 01/03/2014 00:51

And the whole experience at the cat rescue was so bizarre! I went with my 13 year old daughter and my 6 year old daughter and we all left saying the exact same thing - we went to chose a cat but mr pickles chose us instead!

We've made an appointment with the vet for a microship. Our other cat us chipped as that's basically how he came to us. It's really made me realise how important it is though!

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Original poster
fairyfuckwings · 01/03/2014 01:01

Just as an aside - I'm sure my own vet will examine - but to say he's a neutered tom he has the most huge set of testicles! My old boy has literally nothing in that region but mr pickles is considerably more endowed!

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Fluffycloudland77 · 01/03/2014 08:22

My cats neutered but still has furry balls, he was very well endowed prior to neutering though.

The vet will confirm if he's still entire or not. It sounds like its going really well.

issey6cats · 01/03/2014 18:45

awww sounds like all is going to be peachy love it when someone goes to a rescue to get a kitten and comes home with an adult as the adults get overlooked when there are cute kittens around, and yep he picked you

Original poster
fairyfuckwings · 04/03/2014 20:33

Hmm not quite so peachy now. ..

Someone - and I don't want to point the finger at Mr Pickles unfairly but most likely him -h as peed by the back door twice, the front door twice and all over my daughter's upholstery toy box.

I've obviously given him too much freedom! I've cleaned all areas with the cat wee stuff from the pet shop and put tin foil there. Also bought a feliway diffuser (how much? !). He's getting chipped tomorrow and second course of jabs so hopefully will be able to go out more in a week or so. Cat litter scrupulously clean - cleaning properly twice a day and he is definitely using it (sometimes!).

I'm planning on confining him to the kitchen (it's a big kitchen where we all spend time as it also has a sofa and tv) until I can be sure he's not going to pee everywhere. Really hoping this is just "teething problems" as I had 13 years of this with my old cat (who I did love in all honesty) and I really don't want to go through it all again.

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Original poster
fairyfuckwings · 04/03/2014 20:39

Does this sound ok? Anything else I can do?

In fairness I don't know for definite that it's all him. I caught him in the act once at the front door and once atthe back but to fair ny older boy also has form. It was years ago, but when my oldest children were young he went through a phase of "spraying". Not full on pools of pee though.

We resolved this by restricting where he was allowed and then slowly extending where he could go in the house.

Is this the best way forward?

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thecatneuterer · 04/03/2014 21:18

It could be either cat really if your 13 year old has form. It might be his way of reacting to a new situation. It's a good idea to confine him to the kitchen for a while. That way at least you can be sure which one it is.

Hopefully, whichever one it is, it will just be initial teething problems. The Feliway is a good idea but apparently it takes about three weeks to take effect, so don't expect miracles straight away.

Good luck!