If cats could post on Facebook...

[MinkyWinky]

My DH and I were having a very random conversation this evening... If cats could post on Facebook, what would they post? Oh, and would humans get a post in edgeways (after all as far as cats are concerned they are the most important creatures on earth!).

What would your cat post?

my cats would post that mom is definitely ignoring them when they ask for their biscuits exactly one hour after they have scoffed their wet food, she has the cheek to make them wait till 1pm,

they would also complain bitterly about all these here waifs and strays kittens known as fosters who keep coming into the house trying to make friends with them, diving into their personal food bowls, wanting cuddles on their sofa, playing with their cat nip mice and thank god they only stay for a while before they go off to that there rescue place

they would post asking why they are not allowed to sprawl all over the beds other cats would post back sayiong we are allowed in bedroom sort that woman out

issey Fluffcat would be commenting on their posts agreeing on there being too long between food and asking if it is really too much to ask for your servant to get up and feed you at 5am.

my cat wouldnt do it ..

facebook is for shit cats

I think my old lady (18) would have her own Facebook group called

Will you open the fucking cat flap for me cos I can't be arsed?

It will have a handy hints section with the first post being

How to make sure your staff toe the party line

My bloody cat would have a Mont Blanc pen and parchment paper to write down her demands.

If she deigned to go on Facebook it would be to demand salmon, chopped up chicken breasts and a the coal fire lit all day every day.

Maybe they would put up random photos of humans in cute poses and laugh at them.

Today, my cat would post:

'The family went out for most of the day and came back smelling like my old home - I was for about a minute and then caught a whiff of the other cat and almost took Slave No1's hand off when playing (evil laugh!)'

Mine would post something like

Silly humans, left bag of cat food by front door. I am now in state of all you can eat slump. Can't jump, can't move. I will just lie here and zzzzzz

whoknowswherethetimegoes I think you might be right. That and selfies of themselves on their travels or hanging out.

cats do don't they or at least the people i follow seem to post upteem pics of cat related shite, what is it about cat owners?

Cat Selfies - brilliant!

My cat would post

Ha, they are so stupid they've not even realised we've evolved to opposable thumbs and typing skills! Suckerz

My DS (9) normally gets up first and feeds the cats at about 7am. This morning he didn't look at the clock and accidentally got up and fed them at 3.30am. Can just see the update tomorrow.

"Thought we'd finally got the staff to start getting up at a reasonable hour to get our breakfast, but no, selfish bastards all slept in again this morning and let us starve. Got our own back though, leapt on them in bed and started wrestling, haha!"

"Why do they look at me like that when I lick my willy? Is it because their tongues are too short? I do feel so sorry for the minions."

Ah, the litany of transgressions they could expose:

Unreasonable and infrequent feeding times.

The dry gravel that the slaves mistake for food

That roaring monster the slaves get out every time I bring a present home or try and put the gravel back on the floor instead of in my feeding bowl

The lack of chicken! WHERE IS THE CHICKEN

[satisfied cat emoticon]