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At my wits end...

16 replies

Nagasaki · 01/12/2013 18:29

Bit of background first, folks.

I've had my rescue cat for almost a year, since he was 4 months old. We told the rescue centre we could give an indoor cat a home (first floor flat, near a busyish road) and weren't fussy about colour/age/gender. They offered us NagCat, assuring me he was neutered, an indoor, used to young children, etc.

He feeds well, he poos like a dream in his litter box. Isn't nervous at all. Just mean. Flipping mean. Has been like this since the minute he got here.

He is unstrokable. He attacks indiscriminately, but never hisses or screeches. My arms are destroyed from him biting and scratching. I'm a big girl, I can take it. But DS is in tears every day with the attacks.

No toys amuse him for longer than a minute. I've got him scratch posts and hideaways, balls and sisal mice, feather chasers. We've tried Feliway, water spray, ignoring him, everything. But nothing changes.

It's not his fault, I think it boils down to the fact that he is fundamentally not an indoor cat. He wants to go out. He huffs the fresh air at an open window like a glue sniffer.

So basically, I'm ready to throw in the towel and give him back to the rescue centre so he can be rehomed in a more appropriate household, unless I can either find a way of allowing him managed time outside, or calming him down.

Has anyone got any tips, hints or help?

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 01/12/2013 20:14

This is why I'm against kittens being homed as indoor cats when you don't know how they will take to it.

I've owned indoor cats who hated outdoors.

I think your idea about re homing are most likely correct, perhaps you could rehome an older puss who likes indoors?.

issey6cats · 01/12/2013 21:22

basically the rescue should not have said that a four month old kitten would be happy with indoors as he wouldnt have been outside by then so they wouldnt have known wether he would be happy being an indoor cat, it sounds like he is extremely unhappy being an indoor cat, nothing that you have done wrong but if he is attacking you and your son i would ask the rescue to take him back, and rehome him as an outdoor/ indoor cat and definitely no young children some cats are ok with children some are not, i would ask them if they have an older cat who is happy to be indoors as in has lived as an indoor only cat till at least2- 3 years old, will be a much more pleasant cat to own for you and your son or fostering is a good way to have mom cats and kittens as you have to keep them indoors till they go back to the rescue and would give your son some lovely kittens to play with without them being permanent

lljkk · 01/12/2013 21:26

I would send him back; sorry, he's breaking your son's heart & your son will never think of cats as nice pets if this continues. It's not good for anyone. We have a scratcher & have worked hard to get him to mostly mellow; luckily we have 2 other extremely tolerant cats for contrast.

You want a doddery elderly attention mug lapcat, ideally. Unfortunately many shelters won't let you have any adult cat if you have a young child in the house!! Asking around on FB might lead you to the right pet. Shelter might adjust criteria if you are willing to take a cat with FIV or other issues, who must stay indoors.

Nagasaki · 01/12/2013 21:28

Thanks for the reply, fluffy. I'm sad because I genuinely feel affection for NagCat, but I feel that HE is so unhappy.

I don't really want to give him up, I don't want to be the "bad guy" bringing him back as a failure. Sad

OP posts:
bishboschone · 01/12/2013 21:28

We have a beautiful cat who we bought when she was a kitten . She goes outside but is still mean . She isn't very friendly and I she is it's on her terms . Jut saying he may just be a grumpy cat . Is it possible to let him out a window ? I know people who have cats in flats and they go down the stairs and come back in again.

Nagasaki · 01/12/2013 21:32

Thanks lljkk, you are so right about DS. I CAN'T be responsible for warping his view of cats and pets in general.

I do feel bad for NagCat though, It's not his fault he was rehomed in the wrong environment. I should have trusted my instinct that he was too young, but you believe the experts when they tell you that he is a certain temperament.

Big thinking ahead of us this week Sad

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 01/12/2013 21:33

It's their fault not yours.

The shelter failed, not you or the cat. He's probably a lovely cat just a frustrated one.

We had one who lived in just one room 75% of the time. She was happy like though.

Nagasaki · 01/12/2013 21:36

Bish, being able to let him out might be the ideal scenario for him to use up the energy. But how would it be managed? Do they come back when called or would I have to keep the communal door open so he can get back up to the flat? I'm scared he would just bolt, and be scrubbed by a car or worse.

Ugh. This sucks.

OP posts:
Dinnaeknowshitfromclay · 01/12/2013 21:38

Trade him in for a 'lovesponge'. You sound really nice and trying to do the right thing for Nagcat too. Good luck.

Nagasaki · 01/12/2013 21:42

I think I need to give him every chance in this family. Maybe it's time to try letting him out for short periods on a trial basis. I might give the shelter a ring, just to give them a heads up on the situation, they might make the decision for me. I can't let DS get in the situation where he becomes actually scared to be in the same room as NagCat.

Thanks everyone for your kind words. I feel like less of a bastard for raising this issue!!

OP posts:
bishboschone · 01/12/2013 21:50

Are you near a road ? I think cats find their way back pretty well. If he was re homes he could go out on a road the next day and get run over so who knows what's right. I think you should either re home or let him out . He sounds miserable .

thecatneuterer · 01/12/2013 21:55

With no easy access to the outside and no easy route back in again I wouldn't try letting him out. It would be almost impossible to manage and he'd probably end up becoming stray. I think it might be best to return him and instead rehome an older cat that really is happy to not go out.

Fluffycloudland77 · 01/12/2013 22:00

I've found that if they've spent time looking out of the window they already know the area quite well.

If he's chipped then try it, I put a snap release collar on ours in case anyone thinks he's a stray, I get them from poundland.

Nagasaki · 01/12/2013 22:04

Ringing the shelter in the morning to talk it over. As I say, they might make the decision for me, or at least have a heads up on our situation.

Poor NagCat. He needs a break. We adopted him after another family gave him up because they were going into rented accommodation and couldn't have pets in new place. I'm guessing he wasn't well socialised as a young kitten either. Poor fecker hasn't had the best of starts.

OP posts:
Nagasaki · 01/12/2013 22:06

Fair point fluffy, he could have been scoping out the wildlife/rival cats for nearly a year now!

He's chipped and neutered, a quick release collar is a great tip too.

Hopefully the shelter will support our trial period idea.

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 02/12/2013 10:17

I wonder if he'd accept a harness? Pets at home do them.

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