Handhold please - darling boy put to sleep

[Queenofknickers]

My darling boy had to be put to sleep this morning - it's been a big shock, he was 12 and had become lethargic in the last week or so so had blood test during the week and the vet phoned this morning and said to bring him in. He had a tumour that was bleeding into his abdomen and there was nothing that could be done. Any advice for coming to terms with it and helping my D sons (8 and 9) and my other cat - they've never known life without him

[issey6cats]

hi so sorry to hear this cats can look well for a long time and be quite ill so dont feel that you have let him down, its hard we have all been there the children i suggest you look up the poem rainbow bridge its a beautiful poem and tell the boys that though the cat loved them very much it was his turn to say goodbye to this earthly body and go on to another life the other cat give him lots of extra attention

[issey6cats]

and maybe set up a little place in the garden where they can go and feel close to the cat if they want to remember him, a small stone with his name painted on it or something similar

[babyboomersrock]

I'm so sorry. I lost my 14 year old cat this week too - similar illness - and have a little grandson who will be asking questions.

He is only a toddler, so I'm going to say that Dylan's body stopped working because he was very old - we won't want him to worry about sleeping, which might happen if he thinks Dylan just "went to sleep". Your boys are older of course, so they will understand more about death. I think the best approach is to express your own sadness and encourage them to express theirs - perhaps they'd like to draw a picture or write a poem for him?

My cat has been buried in the garden near our other cat who died last year. I have made a small cairn with large stones, and planted some flowers and a tree. I also bought a little stone cat to place there when Rowan died, and will get another now for Dylan.

As for your other cat - difficult to predict how he will react. Just give him plenty of attention, if that's what he wants, and watch to make sure he is eating normally.

[TheNunsOfGavarone]

So sorry to hear of the loss of your lovely cats, QueenofKnickers and BabyBoomersRock.

I found this leaflet by the Blue Cross, which may be helpful. It has details of their bereavement support phone line and also a list of books that might help children facing pet loss. I don't have children but the people on the helpline were incredibly kind and supportive earlier this summer when I lost my dear old boy cat.

www.bluecross.org.uk/files/childrens%20leaflet.pdf

[Queenofknickers]

Thank you everyone for you kind words and advice. Baby boomer so sorry for your loss

The children seem to be coping well - sorting out their favourite photos of darling boy. Me and DH however are just devastated. He was our baby before we had our babies iykwim

[timtam23]

So sorry to hear about your boy
My 18 year old cat had to be put to sleep in September and I still miss her very much, she came to me as a tiny kitten

My children are younger than yours but they drew pictures of the cat for me (which was lovely but made me cry even more!) and we still talk about her from time to time, they mention her without me having to bring the subject up. I also recommend the Blue Cross leaflets, my 2 are a bit young for them but I think older children would get comfort from the books on the reading list

I think more about the good memories now, so hopefully in a few months's time you will also be able to smile at the memories of your boy

Take care