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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Can kitten with a difficult background became a good family pet?

27 replies

sunshinealltheway · 09/11/2013 18:43

I am posting here looking for some advice from people who know about cats.

We have been thinking of getting a kitten to become a family pet for a while now. We contacted Cat Protection to get a rescue kitten (we have an eight year old so wanted a kitten to play and bond well with youngest child in the house. Older child is 16 and not that interested!).

We have had a home visit and been to view a kitten whose history is this: Born in a house with no human contact for 3 weeks, then Mum Cat was rescued but kittens not found, so then a week without Mum whilst CPL searched for kittens, then kittens found - so back with Mum, then 3 weeks with Mum and the wonderful lady from CPL.

Kitten is relaxed when being handled by CPL lady but did not want to be held by (gentle!) eight year old when we viewed. The kitten went and hid after the CPL lady took it back as it struggled to get away from the eight year old.

So my question is "Can a nervous kitten become a family pet?" We are prepared to put the work in to socialise the kitten but I work three days per week and children are at school...

I do know that a cat's personality will depend on both nature and nurture and you don't know whether a cat will be happy to be petted and fussed over, it may not be that type. But should I wait for a kitten that has not had such a turbulent time? Will the nervousness we saw on the viewing go away?

If I was homing just for myself I would not hesitate, but I would really like my youngest to have a good relationship with the cat.

Any advice or thoughts about this would be much appreciated.

OP posts:
Sunflower49 · 09/11/2013 18:46

I think yes, definitely!
My friend has two cats. One had a horrible start in life, rejected by his Mother, half starved when someone noticed, first home was neglected and never paid attention to-then my friend took him on.He's the nicest, most playful most affectionate cat ever.
Her other cat had a great start, nothing bad's ever happened to him and he's a right grouchy sod. Nothing really bad though.
Cats are so different in their personalities. I think you'll need some patience though :)

cozietoesie · 09/11/2013 18:51

I'd say yes. You may, though find that it bonds with one person rather than being a laid back all-around-the-family sort of cat. I remember with Firstcat that he stayed behind the piano for at least 2 days until he bonded with me.

cozietoesie · 09/11/2013 18:53

PS - I was 9 years old so pretty much of an age with your DD.

BlackberrySeason · 09/11/2013 18:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlackberrySeason · 09/11/2013 18:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aliciaflorrick · 09/11/2013 18:58

My cat had a rough start, his mother died so he was hand reared, but noy having had a mother to keep him in place he was hard work for the first six months, but he bonded beautifully with my 9 year old DS. They are now cuddled up together on the sofa watching a film.

Original poster
sunshinealltheway · 09/11/2013 19:47

Thank you so much for these replies. I feel a bit braver about taking this kitten on! I just wondered if a kitten has not had people around when its first born whether it can ever be happy with people, but everyone seems to be saying that it could...

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 09/11/2013 19:52

It will be fine.

Original poster
sunshinealltheway · 09/11/2013 20:38

Thank you!

OP posts:
issey6cats · 09/11/2013 20:43

i would err on the side of caution here i foster kittens for a rescue and the last two i had were nervous, they bonded ok with the other cats, the soppy hound, my grown up children but when my grandchildren came into the house they hid and all my grandchildren have grown up with animals, so i would say that this kitten made it quite plain it was not happy with your son, i would wait a little while till CPL has an outgoing kitten as that way your son would have a kitty that is happy to come straight to him, and who wont panic and scratch him which with kitten claws hurts like hell

timtam23 · 09/11/2013 22:06

I recently took in a stray kitten which was found under our car bonnet, no sign of mum cat & no human contact as far as we know

I also have 2 small children - younger than yours so they have a tendency to be a little overenthusiastic when handling the animals - who have been desperate to hold the kitten but to be honest he hasn't wanted to be held and tends to run away from them (unless he is sleepy when he is happy to lie next to them or on their laps). However he is the most lovely affectionate little thing and I'm sure in time he will be the same with the children. He is used to them now but has bonded most strongly with me (maybe because I was around a lot in his first few days with us)

The kitten was very nervous over the first few days in our house but he settled very quickly, we let him potter around & find hiding places (& tried to make sure the children understood that he needed to do this & would come out in his own time)

I would say yes go for it but be prepared to be very patient & take it slowly

TheNunsOfGavarone · 10/11/2013 00:01

I'm with Issey6cats here. Also have you considered getting a slightly older cat, a young adult perhaps? Kittens are adorable but an adult cat's character will have developed more fully and you could choose one that is known to be OK around children.

Original poster
sunshinealltheway · 10/11/2013 08:39

I knew this would happen... I don't know what to think now! I suppose I don't want to admit that this is not the kitten for us.

I have thought about an older cat with a known personality, but I had my youngest in mind when considering this and of course, youngest would love a kitten to play with.

But this kitten may never want to play I suppose.

Sad
OP posts:
LordPalmerston · 10/11/2013 08:39

No

cozietoesie · 10/11/2013 08:49

If you're not feeling good about the kit then don't take it.

I took Seniorboy on at 13 years old and we all muddle along just fine. The critical thing is the cat. (ie do you think you'll like each other.)

EustaciaVye · 10/11/2013 08:52

Personally, I wouldn't take it. It is going to be a family cat and you all need to get on and be happy. There are loads of kittens going. CPL may have a pregnant mum come in soon which often happens. Be patient and pick the right cat for your house...

qazxc · 10/11/2013 09:00

both my cats were adult and semi feral. they are now absolute couch potatoes who refuse to leave the house. one of them doesn't like being picked up but will jump up on couch for rubs and will happily play. The other is the easiest going cat ever, she is delighted to be picked up nd cuddled, very affectionate, you could do anything to her and she'll just purr. None of them have ever scratched.
can you ask if you can foster with a view to adopt? that way you can make sure the cat is a good fit for your family.

BeaWheesht · 10/11/2013 09:06

Yes absolutely. We had a cat who we got because we were driving along the motorway when we saw the bastards people in the car in front throw something out the window. It was a kitten about 6 weeks old and her brothers and sisters - she was the only one who survived albeit with a broken jaw and hip. She was a lovely at, very loyal, very loving.

Our second cat turned up at our house thin as a rake, we tried to put posters up etc but nobody came forward so we kept her. She was older, about maybe 12 weeks? She remains the best cat we ever had.

cozietoesie · 10/11/2013 09:08

Well that's true, qazxc. I just have this thought that you have to have a good feeling about a cat before you move it in. It's a big mutual compromise living with an animal - so maybe not a good idea if you feel edgy from the get-go.

cozietoesie · 10/11/2013 09:10

Dear goodness, Bea. Were they prosecuted?

soimpressed · 10/11/2013 09:16

Our rescue kitten was very nervous when we first got her - did not want to be touched at all. It took several weeks of careful handling for her to stop being terrified of me. Now she adores me and is very loving. It took about a year for her to accept other adults in the house. My DS was 5 at the time and just too excitable for the kitten so she is still wary of him - will let him stroke her but that's about it. If your 8 year old would be able to be very still and calm with the kitten maybe go for it, if not wait for a more a sociable one to come along.

BeaWheesht · 10/11/2013 10:18

No unfortunately not :( we were so shocked we didn't get number plate in time.

cozietoesie · 10/11/2013 10:21

Understood. What complete rotters. I hope to goodness that there weren't kids in that household.

Preciousbane · 10/11/2013 10:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cozietoesie · 10/11/2013 10:48

Absolutely. Cats are a long term undertaking (eg Seniorboy is 18/nearly 19 and looking to outlive me at the moment) and the kitten stage is just an eye blink. I'd go for a more mature cat.

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