How do you broach reciprocal cat care arrangements with new neighbours?

[QueenStromba]

We're getting new downstairs neighbours soon who have a cat. I think it's perfectly fine to bring them a bottle of wine as a house warming gift and tell them that if they're ever away we'd be happy to feed and play with their cat which I would assume would result in them saying they'd do the same for us. DP thinks it's a bit forward but I would be over the moon if I moved into a new place and my neighbours made that offer.

I think DP's issue might be that we're going to be away for a couple of days over Christmas and don't want to put Rice in a cattery so it would be nice if our neighbours could feed her and play with her while we're away if they're planning to be here. Equally though it could be that they're planning to be away longer than us so we'd be happy to feed their cat. I'm also thinking that maybe we could get a cat sitter for when we're away and negotiate a cheaper rate for looking after two cats in adjacent properties since travel time is built into the cost.

I don't think it's forward. The subject would come up naturally if you went round with their housewarming gift and their cat was wrapping round your ankles, say. I'd then leave the thought to mature, though. See how things go.

My landlord just told me that the future neighbour's indoor cat has gotten out and not come back :(

I hope they get him back. Has anyone got experience of an indoor cat getting out, going missing and then coming back?

Not 'coming back' but being found, yes. (And in good nick.) They'll need to keep in touch with the rescues and do all the standard things.

Yes, I know of friends whose indoor cat got out, was chased and ran away, was then missing for several days and still found his own way home. They came home from work, downhearted and prepared for another evening searching, to find him sitting on the doormat. A tiny bit thinner but absolutely fine. He had never been out before.

Oh dear, your poor (soon-to-be) neighbours. Obviously now is not the time, but assuming they get their kitty back, I don't think you'd be being forward to suggest that if they need someone to watch him/her, you'd be happy to. If they seem remotely receptive, then mention it again when your travel plans for Christmas have firmed up. The worst they can do is say no.

One word of caution, though. If their cat does NOT find its way home, they may be feeling kind of bruised and battered by life, so perhaps it wouldn't be a good idea to bring it up. I know years ago when our old cat was dying, our neighbours (who knew we had a cat but had no idea how sick she was) knocked on the door and asked DH if we could cat-sit for them, and he turned them down quite abruptly. In fact, I get the impression he was kind of rude about it (I wasn't there at the time, so I'm just going on what DH said).

He was preoccupied with whether or not we were going to have our girl put to sleep (which we did quite shortly afterwards), and he just couldn't bear to be around a healthy cat. Long story short, don't take it personally if your new neighbours aren't up to cat-sitting. They may just be heartbroken.

I'm sorry about your girl Canuck. I've asked our landlord to keep me updated on downstair's cat so I don't make that sort of faux pas. They're moving in at the end of the week and I will definitely check with our landlord before I even introduce myself - I don't even want to mention having a cat if their's is missing.

Thank you, QueenStromba. It was several years ago, but I admit to still having pangs about it occasionally. Even though the two cats we have now are adorable, you never forget the ones you lose. But I guess that's just the price of cats having much shorter lifespans than humans.

I think you're behaving very wisely and considerately towards your new neighbours. Not that our neighbours at the time were inconsiderate, they just didn't know the situation. I will think good thoughts for your neighbours' cat to find his way home.

They got their cat back :)

They moved in today so we're going to go around with some prosecco tomorrow.

Oh good.

I'm so happy for them!!!! Good luck with the reciprocal arrangements.

Just ask, if they're cat people in sure they won't mind.
First time I met my new neighbour was the day after we moved in when he knocked on the door, handed me his keys and asked if I could feed his cats for four days.
After he'd gone i realised I knew his cats' names but I didn't know his!